


Accusations Fly

by winterstorrm



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, M/M, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-05
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-24 06:21:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 62,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2571314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterstorrm/pseuds/winterstorrm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>New in town, relationship shy Arthur Pendragon meets Merlin Emrys and gets more than he bargained for.  Is he setting himself up for a fall; or will the course of true love run smooth for once?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Date

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in 2010 and am posting here to get all my stuff in one place.
> 
> This fic was never beta read so there are probably a few typos, sorry!

Arthur Pendragon didn’t do casual sex or one night stands, nor did he sleep with someone on a first date; this wasn’t a rule he had consciously made, but it was one he lived by.  Not that he had many first dates; and very few of those became second dates.  He just wasn’t interested.  He supposed really that when he did get talked out on a date it was normally to keep his best friend and step sister Morgana happy, to stop her banging on that he was left on the shelf at the tender age of 29.  She seemed to think that because they had found love with Edwin and was blissfully happy, everyone else should be the same.  Maybe one day someone would come along who was Arthur’s match, but until then, well – Arthur liked his shelf just fine.

Of course, rules are made to be broken, self imposed rules even more so.  Which might explain how Arthur now found himself pounding furiously into a man he had only met a few hours earlier.  Those few hours actually only equalling less than two.  He wasn’t even slightly drunk.

Earlier

Arthur was wondering how he had let himself get talked into this situation.  It wasn’t as if he hadn’t got anything better to do with his time, yet here he was about to embark upon a new term at The Camelot Foundation, preparing himself for six months of being an English teacher to a load of, most likely, over privileged ungrateful teenagers.  Bloody Morgana and her scheming; somehow she’d had Arthur actually  _offering_  his services for the job. 

At least he had a few days to settle into his temporary accommodation and to explore the area before the term started.  He was to be staying for the whole duration of his time in Camelot nearby at The Avalon Hotel because the staff quarters at the school were currently undergoing a complete renovation.  Apparently most of the faculty lived reasonably locally and did not require live in accommodation; and only one other member of staff currently resided at the hotel as well, a Science teacher Arthur had yet to meet but whom Morgana claimed was ‘slightly unorthodox and brilliant’ and whom Arthur ‘would love’.

It was dark as he pulled up outside the hotel and removed his crash helmet.  Arthur could not fail to be impressed by the imposing facade; it was a red bricked ivy covered Victorian structure with sweeping driveway and an air of extravagance.  Slinging his backpack over his shoulder once the bike was secured he made his way into the reception and wasn’t disappointed; upon finding he would be staying in a hotel for some months he had expected the faded charm of a typical budget seaside guest house, but there was nothing faded or budget about The Avalon Hotel.  The reception was large, warm and welcoming, with plush velvet sofas scattered around in blues and reds, oak panelling covering the lower halves of the walls with a simple cream and gold wallpaper above.  The whole place screamed ‘money’ and Arthur couldn’t help but wonder how much this was going to cost his employer.

He approached the reception desk and smiled at the red head behind the desk, making sure he read her name tag –‘Rowena’ - seeing as he was going to be here for a while he ought to make an effort to be friendly.  “Arthur Pendragon checking in,” he said pleasantly.

Rowena smiled and tapped her keyboard to find the booking, “Ah yes, Mr Pendragon...mmm...all inclusive,” she pursed her lips in concentration as she printed off a guest information sheet and slid it over the counter to Arthur with a coquettish look from beneath her eyelashes, placing Xs next to three boxes and asking Arthur to sign before handing over a key card. “Room 18.  It’s through the double doors behind you, left down the corridor and into the courtyard; it’s the room at the end.  Do need any help with your luggage?”

Arthur held up his backpack, “I think I can manage,” he joked.  “I’ve some stuff coming by courier in the next day or so.”  He only brought the bare essentials with him on the bike, preferring speed over practicality.

“Very well, enjoy your stay Mr Pendragon,” Arthur had to smother a frown as she took the liberty looking him up and down appreciatively, taking in the biker boots, snug fitting dark blue denims and leather jacket.  He swallowed, never fond of being appraised like he was on the menu, and ran a tired hand through his messy golden hair.

“Thank you.”  Arthur turned around and headed towards his room, the place he would be calling home for the next few months, and hoped it wasn’t a shoebox.  Opening the doors to the courtyard Arthur was again impressed; it was a pretty space with an ornate fountain in the centre and tables and chairs to sit at, with fairy lights strung from the four trees situated at a diagonals which gave the place a faerie tale glow.  It seemed that the courtyard was an extension of the bar area, where guests could sit and enjoy a drink on a summers evening. 

Only two guest rooms led off here; Arthur guessed that the rest were in the upper floors of the hotel.  Perhaps a room leading off the courtyard was harder to let; hence it being allocated to him?  He would bet money on the adjacent room belonging to the mysterious science teacher.

Locating the door to room 18 Arthur slid the key card into the slot and let himself into.  The room was something of a Tardis; the narrow entrance hall branching off into a decent sized bathroom with marble surfaces, a roll top bath and a walk in shower; then the bedroom itself was huge.  A king sized four poster bed; a large desk, dressing table with an ornate mirror above it, a sofa and an armchair, a coffee table, built in wardrobes and a 42” plasma TV. Patio doors behind the sofa led out onto a perfectly mowed lawn, with a panoramic view of the town and the bay beyond it.  Perhaps this wasn’t the cheap room after all?

Throwing his backpack on the sofa, Arthur threw himself back on the bed and childishly enjoyed the bounce as he sank into the soft duvet.  Mmm, he could be comfortable here...  He closed his eyes and for a few minutes let himself drift into the pleasurable half sleep only possible at this time of the day.

He was woken a few minutes later by a loud knocking on the door.  Bleary eyed and grumbling he made his way to answer the summons and found a young man of about 20 or so standing there clutching what looked like the keys to his motorbike.  “You left these in reception,” he stated, holding them up for Arthur to take.

“Come in, come in,” muttered Arthur taking the keys, thinking he had better locate his wallet and tip the boy.  He padded back to the bedroom and began to rummage through his jacket.

The visitor followed, eying Arthur curiously.  “Are you going to  _tip_  me?” he laughed, and Arthur stopped his rummaging and looked at him in surprise, as he did so something kicked in his gut; the first pang of attraction.  He tried to squish it down.  He studied the young man then; having been half asleep when he had opened the door and not at his most observant. What was he...an emo, or goth maybe...Arthur was slightly out of touch with popular culture. The boy had black shaggy hair that fell forward over dark blue eyes and seemed to be wearing eyeliner; his lashes were thick and... _Oh fuck_  another kick in Arthur’s gut. 

“Er, well I  _was_  going to, if I could find my wallet,” replied Arthur, trying not to check out the rest of the vision before him; for this young man had turned from an annoying interruption into a  _vision_  in a matter of seconds.  He took in the tall slender form, clad in tight grey jeans and a skinny red t-shirt that said, ‘Steck Bratwurst in Dein Sauerkraut’.  Arthur’s lips twitched.

“There’s no need; I don’t work here,” said the kissable pink lips that Arthur had just become fixated with. 

Arthur supposed he should have guessed this young man was not on staff; it was unlikely that the employees were allowed to walk around with such suggestive slogans on their clothing. 

“Oh,” he ground out.  “You’re a guest?”

“Kind of,” he held out his hand.  “Merlin.”

Arthur dropped his jacket and took Merlin’s hand in his, and immediately wished he hadn’t as something akin to an electric shock bolted up his arm and then, as if he hadn’t been uncomfortable enough already, straight to his cock.  What – The - Fuck?  He managed to retain his ability to speak to croak out, “Arthur.”

“Reception are run off their feet with a sudden influx of guests for tomorrow’s conference. Rowena asked me if I could drop these in on my way past,” he licked his lips nervously, perhaps noticing the sudden tension in the room and Arthur spotted he had a tongue ring which did not help the tight trousers problem Arthur was going to be suffering from any moment now.  “I, er, I’d better go anyhow.  I’ll see you around?”

Arthur didn’t know why – well he  _did_  but he wasn’t about to admit it to himself - but he didn’t want Merlin to leave.  “Where can a bloke get something to eat around here?” he asked in order to delay his departure.

“The hotel restaurant is pretty good,” he looked at his watch and frowned.  "You could get room service...or there’s the Dragon Cafe down the road, its open late.  I can show you if you like?”

Arthur did like, very much.  He didn’t pause to question the wiseness of this decision; he just knew he didn’t want to let this rather scrumptious young man out of his sight just yet.  “Sure. You ready now?”

“Uh...OK.”

Arthur grabbed his jacket, found his wallet  _was_  in the inside pocket and followed his new acquaintance outside.  Merlin headed across the courtyard and through what looked like an old coach entry.  Arthur kept up with his fast pace with ease and the two of them were soon in deep conversation about the history of the town, and the myths and legends of the area. 

“You know a lot about this place,” Arthur complimented.

“History is my thing,” smiled Merlin. 

Thankfully, normal conversation cooled his trouser problem, and he was able to converse like a normal person.  Merlin was clearly a very intelligent man; part of Arthur had hoped he’d be a moron as it would be easier to dampen this new attraction if he were.

They walked down the long driveway before Merlin diverted to the left, still enthusing historical facts, through an opening in the hedge which turned out to lead to some old steep steps.  When they reached the bottom they met a small iron bridge that crossed the River Lyn and there before them was Cafe Dragon.

Cafe Dragon was closed.  The sign indicated that they had shut early due to a staff shortage. Merlin sighed and shot Arthur an apologetic look. 

“I guess its room service after all,” Arthur joked limply, not wanting to go back to his empty hotel room.

“Or fish and chips back at the hotel?” suggested Merlin with a grin nodding in the direction of the high street.  “The chippy down there is just about still open.”

They walked down to the chippy and were lucky enough to get the last portion before they shut for the night, before turning back on themselves and heading back to the hotel, up the steps to the driveway.

“There’s a bench in the garden that looks out over the bay,” said Merlin.  “No one ever goes there, I don’t think anyone knows about it, but the view is great even in the dark; want me to show you?”

Arthur nodded and followed Merlin back through the courtyard and through another entrance on the opposite side that Arthur hadn’t noticed before, leading him past the lake and through some trees.  The bench was secluded and there was not a soul in sight.  They munched the chips in companionable silence, the gap between them closing with every mouthful.

“I could get used to this,” mused Arthur, referring to more than just the scenery and the balmy breeze.  He was already half in love with the man beside him, which was ridiculous considering it couldn’t really be more than an hour since they had met, he didn’t know anything about him and more to the point; Arthur did not  _do_  this – whatever ‘this’ was, Arthur did  _not_  do it...

Too many people had burnt him in the past, attracted to the Pendragon name and fortune, and although Arthur had distanced himself from that somewhat, he was suspicious of the motives of anyone who tried to get close to him.  Merlin didn’t know anything about his family name or who his father was.  Not yet.

He could feel the burn of Merlin staring at him and found he liked it, a lot.   _This was getting ridiculous_.  “Do I have something on my face?” he joked, without looking at him and fixing his attention on the distant lights of a passing ship.

“Ketchup,” Merlin replied and Arthur turned to him in horror; he hadn’t thought there  _would_ be something actually on his face.  Merlin smirked and wiped away the offending smear with his thumb, and two sets of blue eyes clashed and stilled.

That was it; before Arthur even realised what was happening, his mouth crashed onto Merlin’s – or had Merlin kissed him? – either way, the chip wrappers fell to the floor and the wood of the bench groaned beneath them as the two kissed almost violently, exploring each other’s mouths with their tongues, hands caressing necks, teeth nipping lips and collar bones.  Arthur felt intoxicated, the scent of Merlin was driving him wild and he had to have more.  He slid an exploratory hand under Merlin’s t-shirt, traced his hip bones and worked his way higher, finding a nipple to pinch...  Moments later Merlin straddled his lap, grinding his cock against Arthur’s.   _Fucking.  Hell_. 

Arthur had rules about this kind of thing, but right now he didn’t know where the rule book was and quite frankly he didn’t care; he wanted Merlin with a fire in his belly that was burning out of control.   _He didn’t do this kind of thing_ ; he’d only just met Merlin...but then Merlin was undoing his zip and freeing his erection, and Arthur didn’t care about rules or units of time, he only cared that Merlin’s hand was gripping his cock and stroking it...  Arthur groaned and pulled Merlin in for another kiss.

“You do realise we’re in a public place..?” Arthur managed after a few minutes when he came up for air.

“Don’t care...” Merlin muttered as he slid off Arthur’s lap and created a place for himself to kneel between his legs.  He stroked Arthur’s cock reverently and flicked his gaze up to meet Arthur’s lust filled orbs; with a cheeky smile he flicked his tongue over the head.

Arthur’s hands found their way into Merlin’s hair as he bit back a moan.  Merlin began exploring every millimetre with his wicked tongue, the piercing adding an extra kick to the delight Arthur was experiencing under his ministrations.  He could so easily have come after just a couple of minutes but he wanted more, he wanted to taste Merlin...he yanked him to his feet and made light work of his zip, sliding his jeans and boxers down and freeing his cock, and from his sitting position enveloping it in his mouth with a satisfied groan, cupping Merlin’s arse cheeks as he encompassed the entire length slowly.

Merlin’s hands were on Arthur’s shoulders, sliding around and curling into his hair at the back of his neck sending shivers down Arthur’s spine.  “Fuck Arthur...” breathed Merlin as Arthur curled a finger around the base of his cock and concentrated his attention on the head. “Mmnnnng.” 

Arthur took Merlin deeper in response, and was surprised when he took a step back and pulled out of Arthur’s mouth with a faint pop.  He looked at Merlin with confusion and found a wicked grin playing on his pink lips.  He yanked up his jeans, and for a moment Arthur panicked that he was leaving but instead he shoved his hand in the back pocket and pulled out a small tin which he proceeded to waggle in front of Arthur.  “My  _lip balm_ ,” he smirked as Arthur realised it was a small tin of Vaseline.

The twinkle in Merlin’s eye as he prised off the lid nearly had Arthur coming; just the promise of what that little tin meant...  Merlin offered the tin to Arthur, who scooped out a small amount and placed it on the bench beside them as Merlin shimmied out of his jeans without breaking eye contact.  “Are you sure?” asked Arthur hoarsely and Merlin nodded.  Arthur broke eye contact and scanned the area; still no people, but this was risky.  “We could get caught.”  If they got caught Arthur would lost his job before he started; yet this was not incentive enough to stop what they had started.

“We won’t.   _Just do it already_.”

Arthur didn’t argue; he took his Vaseline covered fingers and began to prepare Merlin, loving it as the younger man gasped and groaned as he stretched him, turning him around so his bottom was aligned with his face, Arthur planted kisses around the area he was paying most attention to, triumphant when Merlin pushed back against his questing digits and said, “ _Fuck me - now_.”

Not having thought this far ahead, Arthur briefly pondered options...it  _was_  a semi public place even if it  _was_  deserted...  He shrugged out of his jacket and twisted so that he was straddling the bench, one leg easily able to fit between the seat and the slats.  His cock stood proudly to attention as he shimmied his own jeans lower and grabbed the Vaseline to coat it with.  Eyes on Merlin he quickly lubed his member, and biting his lip he motioned for Merlin to straddle him.

*

So...this was how Arthur Pendragon found himself pounding into a man he had only just met, _in a public place_ , and not caring a jot for the consequences.  He couldn’t recall ever wanting anyone so much; needing to be inside them, to feel himself tightly encased within them.  He had never believed in love at first sight, but as he broke his lips away from Merlin’s and held his gaze as they moved together in a frenzied quest for the goal he thought maybe that had only been because it had never happened to him before.  Merlin bobbed himself up and down, up and down the length on Arthur’s shaft as Arthur thrust upwards to meet him, his hand stroking Merlin towards completion, both of them suppressing the cries that naturally wanted to break free as they neared orgasm, still vaguely aware of where they were.

Merlin broke free of the chains that bound him as his orgasm hit him; chanting Arthur’s name in a wild frenzy as he lost control, throwing his head back as his come coated both his as Arthur’s t-shirts.  Arthur stilled then, groaning Merlin’s name roughly before releasing himself into him.  Together they slumped sideways, still entangled, and rested against the back of the bench.  Arthur could hear his heartbeat slow down, Merlin’s heavy breathing...  He wrapped his arms around Merlin and nuzzled his neck.

“I’ve never...with...a stranger before,” whispered Merlin pushing Arthur backwards so that he could look into his eyes.  He looked worried, as if it had just occurred to him that maybe Arthur did. 

“Neither have I,” he replied honestly, unable to tear his gaze away.  He leant in and kissed him before saying, “Will you come back to my room with me?”

“I shouldn’t,” Merlin said ruefully and began to disentangle himself from Arthur to sort out his clothing.  “But I will.”

Arthur straightened himself up and the two of them walked hand in hand back to his room. Once there they stripped, turned out the light and wordlessly climbed into the bed, Arthur pulling Merlin against him with strong arms. 

So what – he had broken his no sex on the first date rule; and technically this had not been a date so could it really have been broken?  As for the one night stand rule; Arthur had no intention of letting this be a one off.  He pulled Merlin closer and listened as the younger man fell asleep; only then did it occur to him that he hadn’t asked Merlin  _how long_  he was staying at The Avalon Hotel for... _bollocks_.

*


	2. Delusions

Arthur looked at the view before him with unseeing eyes; he could have admired the sun as it sank slowly into the sea in front of him, orange and gold shimmering softly on the surface of the water, or paid attention to the rabbits that had started to ignore his brooding presence and had come out to munch on the grass nearby.  Instead he did neither, sitting with his back against the Foreland Point trig pillar, his bike helmet abandoned beside him as he fought back the pain that had been consuming him for hours.   _Gods, he was a fucking idiot._

When his rule book had gone flying out of the window on Thursday night, clearly so did his common sense, observation skills and ability to think with his head and not his dick.  The end result of such folly being three whole days in bed with a virtual stranger – yes, an enticing, intriguing, totally gorgeous stranger, but a stranger nevertheless.

Life was great in the Merlin bubble; a diet that mainly consisted of room service and fucking had been all they’d needed.  Those few days had been somewhat decadent, which would normally have been something Arthur would have balked at.  He had felt alive, as if the years of self imposed semi solitude were a long distant memory; he’d felt like Merlin had awakened him, and if that was a cliché well right at that moment Arthur didn’t care. 

Somehow, during those three days, Arthur had convinced himself that Merlin was the ‘slightly unorthodox and brilliant’ science teacher who Morgana had told him lived in the hotel.  Of course, he hadn’t actually asked Merlin this, merely deduced it from something Merlin had said and made up his own mind.  Some kind of unspoken agreement had occurred between them whereby they didn’t talk about ‘the real world’; family, work etc, and this had suited Arthur just fine because he didn’t want Merlin to know yet that he was a Pendragon, only son and heir of the second richest man in the country, Uther Pendragon.  Uther was a bona fide celebrity these days since he had started to front ‘The Apprentice’ and often made guest appearances on ‘Dragon’s Den’; Uther enjoyed playing God with other people’s lives, and the chance to do so on TV had been too good for him to pass up. 

Arthur also hadn’t wanted to tell Merlin about his own career as a writer, because the last few months had seen him suffering from writer’s block and that had resulted in him getting talked into the job at the school by his step-sister; he knew the change of scene would do him good, but he had to admit he was dreading it.

So all the real life depressing shit got left out, and he and Merlin, when not shagging, had talked about  _stuff_ ; their favourite movies, TV, music, books, works of art, food.  Arthur – The Prestige, Spooks, Depeche Mode, Wuthering Heights, Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh, steak and chips.  Merlin – Star Wars, Supernatural, Linkin Park, The Turn of the Screw, The Death of Chatterton by Henry Wallis, veggie sausage and mash. 

 _Three days_ ; how could a person’s life change so much in such as small space of time?  Hell, it had changed irrevocably after just  _three hours._   Arthur wished he knew how or why he had let his guard down and let someone in for the first time in a long time;  _forever_.  He wished he had adhered to the rules, wished he’d never met Merlin fucking Emrys, for now he was surely on a one way trip to hell.

Earlier that day

Sometime that Sunday morning Merlin had gone to get a change of clothes and to borrow a motorbike helmet from the hotel gardener who was a bit of a biking enthusiast, so they could go out for the afternoon and shake off the cobwebs.  Arthur was alone for the first time in days and it felt weird, as though Merlin had become a part of him already.  When he heard the knock on the door he raced to answer it, expecting it to be Merlin and was surprised to find an old man with longish gray standing there with a pot plant.

“Hello, you must be Arthur?” he greeted with a smile.  “I’m Gaius.  I’ve bought you a welcome gift.”  He held up the plant, a peace lily, and Arthur duly stepped back to allow the older man entry to the room, hoping it didn’t smell too much of sex and, er, sex.

“Thank you.  Come in,” Arthur offered, wondering who Gaius was as he clearly seemed to know who he was.  “What can I do for you?”  He took the plant of him and placed it on the desk, quickly flinging open a patio door to freshen the place up a little and leaning against the other one to regard his visitor.

“Oh, please do excuse me!  I assumed Morgana would have mentioned me.  I’m Gaius Meldrew, the science teacher at The Camelot Foundation.”  He looked around the room and Arthur tried not to squirm at the unmade bed and the obvious lack of unpacking and general mess.  Wait a minute –  _science teacher..?_  

“Er, Morgana did mention you yes.  She didn’t tell me your name is all.  She says you’re ‘brilliant’.”  Arthur’s mind was racing; if Gaius was the science teacher,  _who was Merlin_?  He’s obviously made a clanger when he’d made that particular assumption...

Gaius flushed at the compliment, “She flatters me.  I’m simply fascinated by the subject.”  He sat down on the sofa as Arthur waved a hand towards it by way of invitation.  “You’re covering Ellen’s maternity leave is that correct?”

“I am,” curiosity was burning a hole in his brain.  “So Gaius, you live here at the hotel?”

“Kind of,” shit, Arthur had heard that before.  “I live with my niece and her son.  She’s the head of housekeeping and lives in the annexe above the stables.  I moved in with her when I took the job at the Foundation three years ago.  Lovely girl...”

Arthur’s heart began to pound and a sick feeling of dread crept through his body like poison. “What about her son?” he managed to croak.

Gaius didn’t notice the change in his host’s demeanour as his eyes softened as he thought about his great nephew, “Ah yes, Merlin...he’s a handful.  Clever lad though, knows what he wants; destined for great things is our Merlin.”  He began to bristle with pride, “He’s got places at Oxford and Cambridge lined up; we’re confident he’ll walk his exams, he barely needs to even try.”

Oh fuck.  Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.  Arthur wanted to bang his head against the window.  “How old is Merlin?” was all he managed to say through the fog that was descending in his head.

“Seventeen,” replied Gaius.  “He’s head boy at the Foundation.”

Sweet mother of...   _Fuck_.  Why the hell had Arthur never asked Merlin his age?  Why assume that because someone has a tattoo they are over 18?  He remembered thinking Merlin looked ‘about 20’ when he first met him, not ‘about 20, give or take three effing years’.  He was sleeping with a bloody  _student_!

*

Somehow, Arthur had managed to make an excuse to Gaius and get the old man to leave after promising that of course he would love to pop round for a cup of tea before term started; Merlin had been due back any moment, there was no way Arthur was going announce to the world that he was some kind of cradle snatching pervert via that method. 

He didn’t know what to do.  What  _does_  a person do in this situation?  Arthur cursed himself for his mammoth stupidity.  Seventeen years old.   _Seventeen_.  Arthur’s 30 th birthday was looming in a couple of weeks.  He was  _thirteen_  years older than Merlin!  Maybe that would be OK if Merlin were 20 as Arthur had assumed...and if he wasn’t a student at the school where Arthur was to be a teacher.  A quick rifle through his predecessor’s notes, which he had barely skimmed before that point, revealed that there was indeed a Merlin in his A Level English class.  Merlin Emrys. 

He would have to end it.  It had only been a couple of days, how hard could it be?  He was used to being on his own so that wouldn’t be a problem, but he’d tasted it now, tasted Merlin; tasted love, and he didn’t want to let it go.  How  _could_  he love someone he had only just met though?  It must be a combination of loneliness and a liking for sharp cheekbones and eyeliner.  It had to be.  No, it wasn’t love; that was a ridiculous notion.  Love was for other people.   _He should have known better._   His father was right, he really was unlovable. 

So the downward spiral began, and when Merlin finally arrived, bike helmet under his arm, massive grin on his face, spring in his step and apology on his lips about how long he had taken, Arthur had made up his mind. 

One look at Merlin though, and he was back into turmoil.  Merlin had changed into tight black jeans with green converse, and a black ‘Combichrist’ t-shirt over a white long sleeved top; fresh eyeliner graced his sockets and his milky skin held a faint blush.  Arthur melted before he caught himself and tried to school his face into indifference.

“...thought we could go to Saunton Sands.  Pink Floyd filmed some of The Wall there and...What’s wrong?”  Merlin stopped dead when he noticed the look on Arthur’s face. “Arthur?”

“Merlin, I...”  Arthur lost the words.  He wanted to cry, but Pendragon’s do not cry.  Despite the rift between them, his father’s words echoed through his psyche.  “I’ve changed my mind, this...” he waved a hand to Merlin and back to himself.  “...is a bad idea.  We should just call it a day now, before it goes too far.”

“A bad idea?” gulped Merlin, his eyes fixed on Arthur’s stony face.  “You’re  _dumping_  me?  Now you’ve had your fun you...”  Tears sprang from the blue eyes and Merlin wiped them away furiously.  “ _Why_?”

Arthur had run through a plethora of scenarios in his head, excuses to give Merlin, but he guessed the  _boy_  deserved the honest answer.  This wasn’t his fault, it was all Arthur.  “I just met Gaius...  You’re  _seventeen_ Merlin.”

“I was seventeen on Thursday when we met, and seventeen this morning when you fucked me right there on that desk; why does it suddenly matter how old I am?” he took a step towards Arthur who was leaning against the offending desk pushed himself away and put the sofa between them.

“I’m going to be your  _teacher_.  This cannot happen.  It’s not your fault; I should have asked how old you were.”   _I just wanted you too much to care._

Merlin’s face twisted and Arthur felt guilt crashing down upon him; this was killing him.  He wanted to go to Merlin, hold him, tell him he didn’t give a shit how old he was...that he loved him.  He couldn’t do that; he’d already imagined the scandal that this could cause, front page of The Sun and The Mirror – the bloody News of the World – all about how Uther Pendragon’s son slept with his students and with young boys.  His father would go crazy, and whilst Arthur cared little about his father’s opinion, he had Merlin to consider too, he didn’t deserve to be rocked by such scandal.  This had to stop  _now_. 

That was when he saw it, Merlin’s eyes, they held guilt too.  “Did you know who I was?” Merlin didn’t answer, developing a sudden interest in looking at his toes.  “ _Did – you – know - who - I - was?_ ” 

“I...yes.”

“So you  _planned_  this?” Arthur kept his face neutral; inside he was screaming.   _All lies._   Merlin was the same as everyone else.  He’d thought he was different but he had been deluding himself; everyone was out for what they could get; a piece of the Pendragon name.  Merlin didn’t care about  _him_  only what he could get from him.

“No!  I...”  _You_   _ripped out my heart and trampled it on the floor._ “I would never do that, I -”

“Get out.”

“What?  No -”

“I said GET OUT.”

“Arthur please listen...” Arthur could see Merlin’s agitation, sense his desperation, but he didn’t want to listen, not when the only words likely to leave his lips would be lies.

Eye not leaving Merlin’s pleading gaze Arthur bit out, “No,  _you_  listen.   _Get – out – of – my – sight_.”  He began to turn away, he couldn’t look at those beautiful blue eyes without getting sucked back in, when there was a loud cracking sound as the mirror above the bed split down the middle, making him jump.  “What the...?” he began, looking to Merlin for his reaction, but all he saw was thin air as he heard the front door slam.  Merlin had run.

*

As the beauty of the sunset failed to grab his attention, Arthur dug his phone from his pocket and dialled his step-sister’s number.  “Morgana?  No, no – not really...  Listen, about the job – I don’t think I can take it after all...”  He held the phone away from his ear at the raised voice coming from the other end and winced.  “Yes I know it’s short notice – look, can I come over, I think I need to tell you this in person... Fine, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”  He wasn’t looking forward to this conversation one little bit, but if it meant he could get out of this place and away from Merlin then he’d have to face it.

*


	3. Tempted

“Oh my God,” gushed Gwen, throwing herself into the seat besides Merlin in the wood panelled school cafeteria.  “Have you  _seen_  the new English teacher?”

“I  _know_ ,” sighed Freya from Merlin’s other side, scanning the room in the hope that the subject of the conversation might have materialised.  “Totally hot.  Have you seen him Merlin?”

Merlin grunted and stared at his half eaten jacket potato sullenly.  It was Tuesday afternoon, first day of term and two days since Arthur had found out the truth about how old he was and dumped him.

He’d almost made it back to his Mum’s flat when the thought of facing her and Uncle Gaius after what had happened turned his stomach to lead, so he’d phoned Will and they’d spent the afternoon playing Mario Kart and getting pissed in Will’s bedroom.  Will wasn’t one for deep conversation unless prompted which suited Merlin down to the ground.  Monday had been spent in a similar fashion; and now his thumbs were almost too sore to hold a pen.

“ _Merlin_  – are you even listening?  Hot – new – teacher,” pouted Freya, nudging Merlin in the arm. 

“Hangover,” he muttered as if that explained why he was being such an arse and avoiding looking at either of the he shoved his headphones in, grabbed his bag and slouched from the room.  The last thing he needed right now was the girls swooning over Arthur like he was Brad fucking Pitt.  He could see his friends watching him in confusion as he left the room; he just didn’t think he could sit there and discuss the merits of Arthur’s backside.   _His_  Arthur; not some random bloke off the street.  “ _My_  Arthur,” he muttered to himself as he dug in his pocket for the key to his office.  If there was one good thing about being landed with the head boy thing it was this office/cupboard that was exclusively for his use.  He locked the door behind himself and slumped into the chair, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms.

He wasn’t giving up this easily; Arthur just needed some time to calm down that was all, which was why Merlin hadn’t gone to see him yesterday when it had actually been all he could think about as Mario whizzed round the race track and his brain slowly pickled itself in vodka. Merlin  _knew_  Arthur felt the same way about him; Arthur  _loved_  him.  It  _would_ be alright. Arthur would forgive him; they’d find a way to be together.  Merlin  _missed_  him and it seemed his magic did too.

Merlin had always known he had to keep his magic a secret; people wouldn’t understand his Mum had told him as soon as he was old enough to understand.  It was the only  _sensible_  thing to do.  When he was a younger, he’d imagined he was Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight.  He knew better now; he was Merlin Emrys and his life was totally fucked. 

The last time Merlin lost control of his magic was in 1997; he was five years old and Valiant had pushed Will over in the playground and stamped on his brand new Tamagotchi.  To this day nobody outside Merlin’s family knew what had really happened to make all the windows overlooking the playground shatter; Grandpa had worked hard with Merlin to help him keep the power under control and Merlin was proud that he had been able to as sometimes, when he got upset or angry, it had been so hard not to let it escape.  Twelve years of regimented control and then along comes Arthur Pendragon and before he knows it Merlin’s cracking mirrors with his subconscious. 

Normally the magic wasn’t a big deal.  OK, so it was unusual, not that many people had similar ‘talents’.  There were a few people with a little magic, but hardly any with a lot; like Merlin.  He liked to have fun with it every now and again - who wouldn’t? – but he’d scared himself on Sunday, overwhelmed himself with a gamut of emotion that he had not known he was capable of possessing.  He should have felt it building, should have known it was trying to push its way out of him.  It had to have been the rollercoaster ride he’d been on since meeting Arthur.  He’d been so  _happy_ , being with him; never before had he felt so  _right_.  Arthur had turned so suddenly, burst the bubble, and Merlin had felt himself freefalling; his magic had broken loose to prevent him from crashing to the ground without a parachute. 

Hopefully Arthur would write the mirror thing off to dodgy hotel decor and think nothing more of it.  Merlin couldn’t afford for him to find out before they were back together.

Merlin wasn’t ready to accept any of the blame for what happened upon himself.  He had gone to take Arthur his keys in good faith with a  _teeny_  hint of curiosity over the new English teacher / brother to the headmistress that Gaius had told him was arriving that day.  When Arthur had opened that door; all golden blond hair and come to bed blue eyes...  Merlin had to admit it sounded ridiculous, love at first sight was such a cliché, but he  _knew_.  It was like his magic called out to him, filling his veins with power and  _knowing_...

How was it wrong to see something you wanted and to take it? 

*

“Good afternoon.  I’m Mr Pendragon, I’ll be your English teacher until Mrs Brown comes back from maternity leave,” Arthur wrote his name on the white board with black marker pen.  “I’m at a slight disadvantage here as I don’t know any of you, so if we’ll just do a quick sweep of the room; I want to know your name and your favourite book, with a quick explanation as to why.”  He paused and wrote Wuthering Heights under his name.  “This is my favourite book for many reasons, but not least because of this line  _‘_ _I have to remind myself to breathe -almost to remind my heart to beat’_  which belongs to, for me, one of the saddest paragraphs ever written.”

Arthur smiled his best fake smile at the ten students present.  The Camelot Foundation was a private school with small class sizes, for which he had been grateful all day,  _until now_. Although he had managed to avoid eye contact with Merlin so far, he had noted exactly where he had sat (second row), his posture (slouched), who he was sitting by (good looking dark haired male), what he was wearing (school uniform)...  Oh God, school uniform _...  He should have quit when he had the chance._   It was going to be harder than he had anticipated to stand up in front of this class for an hour three times a week.  He could feel Merlin’s gaze upon him, it burned like sunshine.   _Too much direct sunlight causes cancer._   He shook his head slightly; his internal dialogue had been driving him bloody crazy these last two days.  It seemed to mostly say ‘Merlin, Merlin, Merlin’ and Arthur had found that whisky increased the volume instead of fixing the problem.

“We’ll start at the front,” he managed, nodding towards a pretty brunette who was twirling a curl around a finger and looking at him adoringly.   Arthur had found that half the student body seemed to looking at him the same way; he hoped it was a fascination with the new and that it would wear off fast.  He shifted uncomfortably and offered her an expectant look.

“Freya...The Accidental Tourist because it’s quirky and I like quirky.”  Arthur was impressed at the choice; not obvious and he liked that.

Arthur smiled and nodded at the girl sitting beside her.

“Gwen.  Persuasion.  It’s just so romantic without needing any bump and, er, grind...er, not that I think bump and grind is...” she groaned and covered her face with her hands. 

The brutish looking teen in the second aisle,  _not next to Merlin_ , sneered, “Come on Gwen, we all know you like a bit of -”

“That’s enough!” Arthur said firmly. “Everyone must be allowed to speak uninterrupted. Thank you Gwen, Persuasion is one of my favourites too.”  He gave the now flushed girl an encouraging smile and turned to the brunette on the other side of the aisle.

“Nimueh.  Am I allowed to say Harry Potter?”

“This is your choice Nimueh, you could pick the Yellow Pages if you had a good reason for it.”

“Harry Potter then, Goblet of Fire because that’s when it starts to get good and the guy that plays Cedric Diggory in the film is in Twilight,” the blonde beside her sniggered and Nimueh shot her a glare.  “Also because it’s a classic story of good versus evil.”

“Thank you Nimueh.”  He turned to the sniggering blonde and raised an eyebrow.

 “Vivian,” she purred huskily activating Arthur’s inner eye roll.  “My favourite book is ‘To Sir With Love’ because it’s...hot.”

Arthur cringed, his eyes flashing to Merlin’s for the first time only to regret it when he found the kohl lined blue eyes fixed intently on him with a look of, well,  _want_.  He dragged his gaze away.

“Have you actually read it?” he asked, ignoring the flirtation entirely and focussing on the facts and not bothering to wait for an answer.  “ _Because_  if you  _had_  read it you would know that it’s not a love story.”

Vivian shrugged and batted her lashes, “My bad.”

Merlin was next.  Arthur closed his eyes briefly before seeking out the blue eyes that had not left him since he walked in the classroom; undoubtedly nine other pairs of eyes had been on him that time as well, but he didn’t care, he couldn’t distinguish those.  He could only feel Merlin’s.

“Merlin.  Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell.  I like it because it’s based on the premise that magic once existed, and I believe it did and still does.”  Arthur saw the challenge emanating from his lo...from Merlin.  When they had been discussing their likes and dislikes, Merlin’s favourite book had been ‘The Turn of the Screw’.  Now was not the time to pick up the gauntlet.

“Good Merlin, and your companion?” he looked at the dark haired boy beside Merlin and tried to think nice thoughts, ones that weren’t jealous of his close proximity to...   _For fucks sake, stop it!_

“Will.  Billie Morgan by Joolz Denby.  It’s just so  _real_ , so sad.”  Arthur had not heard of the book, but he warmed to Will a little when he explained his reasons for liking the book.

Arthur moved on to the next student and was aware in his Merlin-vision that Will leaned in and whispered something in Merlin’s ear causing him to laugh and he immediately tensed, overcome with a violent urge to tear Will away from him.

This had been a bad idea.  Bad bad bad.  Why the hell had he skipped out on telling Morgana the truth?  He’d been going to, knowing she’d have no choice other than to accept it and let him go, she would have understood.  Instead, when he’d opened his mouth and should have said, ‘I got laid over the weekend and I just found out he’s one of my students  _(please fire me)’_ , he’d muttered some crap about suddenly finding his muse, losing the writer’s block and wanting to go with it whilst he could but that he now realised he couldn’t let her down and blah fucking blah.  Then they had drunk coffee and chatted about Uther’s latest trophy girlfriend; Arthur had been mentally banging his head against a sharp object and telling himself he was a fuckwit.  A deluded, lovesick, ethically and morally challenged total and utter fuckwit.

Who knew what the other four students were called or liked to read because Arthur certainly hadn’t paid attention to their answers.  The rest of the lesson went by in a blur; a sort of out of body experience kind of a blur, like he wasn’t quite present.  He must have been doing something right, because he was setting homework, and answering questions – thankfully none from Merlin – and the bell rang; finally.  The end of the day had arrived; he’d faced Merlin and survived.  Why he was so worried about facing a seventeen year old he did not know...he  _had_  self control.  So far so good.  He could do this. 

He began packing his things into his briefcase slowly, hoping the students would leave quickly, trying not to notice, being all nonchalant.  He heard the door close and felt rather than saw that he was not alone in the room.

“What can I do for you Merlin?”   _Stay professional and it will be fine._

“You could look at me.”  Arthur raised his head and looked without meeting his eyes.  He was leaning back against the classroom door, tousled hair, pink cheeks, those overlarge ears...Arthur flicked a glance at his eyes and saw  _hope_  before looking back down at the bag he had been making such a show of packing.

“We’re not doing this.”  He tried not to think about how the school was an old building with thick walls and doors, and how easy it would be to push Merlin back into that door and fuck him into it.  “I’m your teacher.”

“Arthur -”

“ _No_  Merlin,” Arthur cut in.  “You knew who I was and you played me.  I’m not ready to forgive you for that; not that it would make any difference.  I’m – your – teacher.”   _And I will burn in hell for the things I want to do to you right now._

The distance between the door and the desk really wasn’t far enough; Merlin covered it in less time than it took Arthur to realise he’d even started to move.  He was pressed up against him; Arthur took a step backwards and met the desk.  He could feel Merlin’s warm breath against his throat.

Mustering all the strength he could find Arthur shoved Merlin back.  “ _No_.”

He sought out the handle of his briefcase, unable to tear his eyes from Merlin and he almost gave in.   _Almost._   “Go and find yourself someone your own age Merlin,” he suggested as he moved around the desk, creating a barrier between them.  “I know I’m going to.” And he was out the door, trying not to run, his heart beating out of control; his burgeoning erection pressing uncomfortably against boxers. 

 _What the fuck was he doing?_   He should have taken the get out of jail free card and left town while he still had the chance; the sooner he took his own advice and found someone else his own age the better.

The thought of being with anyone else made him feel sick...and the slightest suggestion of Merlin and another man made him want to commit murder.  This was bad, bad, bad.

Arthur was going to go home and take a very cold shower and then take himself on a long bike ride; the more miles between him and Merlin the better.

*

Merlin knocked on the door of room 18, nervously shifting from left to right; he felt out of control and so did his power.   _Please answer_.  He sighed wearily when it became apparent no one was coming and headed to the car park to see if Arthur’s bike was there; he’d rather know Arthur was out somewhere than hiding inside his room pretending not to be in.  Sure enough, the bike had gone; which only led to a new paranoia wondering where Arthur was and  _who he was with_.

Arthur had won this battle but Merlin wasn’t giving up this easily.  There was more than one way to skin a cat.* 

*


	4. Significant

“...I keep losing control of it and I don’t know what to do.  I’m gonna get arrested under the prevention of terrorism act or something if I keep going.”

“You say it’s to do with this boy you’ve met?”

Merlin blushed at using the term ‘boy’ in reference to Arthur but he could hardly tell his grandfather the whole truth at this point.  “What am I going to do Grandpa?  He’s avoiding me since we... er... he only talks to me when he has to,” Merlin, nursing a cup of tea in an effort to keep his hands warm, regarded his grandfather’s distant image with baleful blue eyes.  “I feel like he’s  _part_  of me...”

From his current location in his office at the University of Arizona where he was a professor of Astronomy Kil Emrys appeared to consider his grandson’s dilemma, “You’re sure Merlin?  This boy is ‘the one’? 

“I’m sure.  I  _knew_  from the first moment he opened the door; when we shook hands I was _certain_.  It aches to be away from him, my magic has being going out of control...I’m being pulled towards him, it  _hurts_...”

“It would seem that your magic  _does_  recognise this boy...”

“What are you getting at Grandpa?”

“Your magic is an innate part of you Merlin; it recognises him as...significant.  Powerful magic like yours has the ability to draw such person to us almost like a moth to the flame.”

“I  _drew him in_?”  Merlin had the feeling his grandfather was holding something back.  “What aren’t you telling me Grandpa?”   _How powerful am I?_   He had kept his magic in check for so long he had no idea what he was truly capable of.

“I’m telling you what you need to know; this  _boy_...is significant to you and you  _must not_  give up.  I can understand that it might seem impossible at the moment given what you have told me, but he’s in your life for a reason.  It is not for me to tell you what that reason is,” the webcam picture fuzzed and Merlin leant closer to make sure he could hear.  “This lack of control you’re experiencing is linked to him; when that situation comes right so will your magic.”

“Grandpa, I thought we’d talked about you  _not_  being so cryptic all the time,” Merlin sighed.

“This is something you have to work out for yourself Merlin.  I can’t advise you what to do; this is your destiny alone.”

“ _Still being cryptic_ ,” Merlin muttered half under his breath.  “Can’t you just fill in the blanks for me?”

“You have to follow your own path, I cannot influence your choices,” came the reply.  “I will say that it sounds as if he is fighting you because of circumstance, not because he doesn’t want you and you should take heart from that, but be careful. This situation is delicate but it’s not insurmountable.”

Merlin frowned, “I hope you’re right Grandpa because this whole thing sucks.”

“Am I ever wrong?” said his grandfather in a lighter tone.

“Not that you ever admit to, no,” Merlin threw back the last gulp of his tea checked the time. “I need to mull this over; next Friday yeah?”

“Sure thing kid and I’m always here if you need to talk about this before then.  Love you.”

“Love you too Grandpa.”  He flipped the switch on his laptop and the webcam stopped broadcasting.  He hated it that his grandfather was so far away; he was the only one who truly understood the magic thing because he had it too, albeit to a lesser degree.  Not that his Mum wasn’t supportive; she just didn’t know what it felt like to burn inside like he was right now.  He just wished the old man would just tell him straight instead of talking in riddles. What was he holding back?  Merlin supposed he shouldn’t mind his grandfather’s ways; he hadn’t batted an eyelid when he’d confessed to sleeping with another bloke.

Hunith chose that moment to knock his bedroom door, “Merlin?”

“Come in Mum,” he called, slamming the laptop shut and forcing a smile. He really just needed to process this new information.  Arthur was significant to him?  Well, no shit Sherlock! 

“Why aren’t you out with your friends tonight?” she asked from his bedroom doorway, a look of concern marring her pale face.  On most Friday nights Merlin and Will and a few others would spend in the evening at one of their houses with a bottle of something; sneaking into the pub when underage was impossible in such a small community. 

“Everyone’s too broke after last week’s blow out,” Merlin invented, seriously doubting that any of his school friends lacked funds; Merlin and Freya were their year’s charity cases, the rest of them were the full fee paying offspring of wealthy parents.  Merlin and Freya had the summer jobs whilst the others had a hefty allowance.  “Besides I’m doing some research.”  He gestured towards his laptop. 

“Alright love, as long as you’re alright.  I’m meeting Morgause for a drink tonight, so I’ll see you later hm?”

“OK Mum, have a nice time,” he smiled back at her, a germ of an idea forming when he realised she would be going out.  “You look very pretty tonight by the way.”  She did too, her long dark hair loose down her back, her dark brown tunic dress matching her eyes. Sometimes he forgot how young she really was, that she’d been only eighteen when she’d had him and was just thirty-five now, still young enough to meet someone else and have more children; she’d been such a good Mum to him and he knew she’d have liked more kids. 

“Thanks love,” she walked over to him and pecked him on the cheek and ruffled his hair before leaving the room.  “If you do decide to go out, just leave me a note.”

Merlin waited with a guilty heart until he heard the front door click shut as Hunith left for the evening.  He knew she wouldn’t be back until at least midnight if not later; Morgause liked to party.  Uncle Gaius was engaged in his usual Friday night activity which entailed playing chess with his friend Jonas in the town, perhaps enjoying a tipple and walking back in the early hours.  Merlin was alone.

He waited ten minutes or so to make sure his Mum didn’t come back before leaving his bedroom and going to the kitchen.  Hunith’s work jacket was hanging over the back of one of the kitchen chairs; her keys were in the pocket, including a master key card that allowed entry into all the rooms in the hotel.  Tamping down the guilt, he slipped it into his pocket went to take a shower.

*

Arthur had succumbed to an after work drink in The Rising Sun with a few of his fellow teachers; Leon, Owain and Ewan.  Gaius had turned down the invite in favour of a game of chess and Morgana and Edwin were going into Ilfracombe to see a show at the Arts Centre. 

Never before had a double JD been more welcome.  He’d knocked the first back in one, lingering over the second as he tried to engage in the blokey banter with his colleagues.  He was exhausted.  The first week of school had been tiring in itself; add avoiding Merlin into the mix and it became a nightmare and sleep had tended to elude him until the early hours. 

Giving Merlin the slip after class wasn’t too difficult after the first day; engaging one of the moony eyed girls who seemed to hang onto his every word in a conversation on the way out of the classroom had sorted that out; leaving Merlin watching after him with frustrated blue eyes and resulting in Arthur having to physically force himself not to turn back and...well, _claim_  him. 

Not going back to his hotel room to rest and relax after a long day at work; that was taking its toll; but he couldn’t take the risk that Merlin might turn up.  Tuesday and Wednesday had seen him going out for the sake of it, riding for miles until sheer exhaustion forced him to turn around and go back and seek out his bed.  Last night he had spent dining with Morgana, Edwin and – so  _not_  what he needed right now – Edwin’s work colleague Lance, who had clearly been drafted in as a potential love interest as a means to get him off his shelf; even Lance’s  _very_  obvious attractions could not hold a candle to Merlin in Arthur’s eyes.  Raven hair beat chestnut, deep blue eyes trumped brown...  Arthur had slept that evening in Morgana’s spare room after nodding off on the sofa the moment Edwin had shown Lance out. 

Lance had text Arthur this morning asking him if he’d like to go for a walk along the coastal path on from Woody Bay on Sunday and Arthur had text back to agree; heaven knew some company would be nice in his forced exile from The Avalon Hotel this weekend.  He’d tell Lance he only wanted to be friends when they were face to face.

“Oh no,” groaned Ewan with a scowl from his position at the bar besides Arthur where they were getting in another round; only Arthur’s third drink, he was heading home after this, his bed was calling him and he hoped another JD would help him sleep.

“What?” he followed Ewan’s line of vision wondering what or who was causing such distaste and saw that two women weaving their way through the busy throng of Friday evening drinkers.  Both very attractive, both slender, one blonde, one brunette. 

“My cousin Morgause,” explained Ewan, tearing his attention from the blonde and offering Arthur what appeared to be an apologetic look just as the duo reached the bar.

“Ewan!  How are you?” exclaimed the blonde, presumably Morgause.  “Mwah, mwah,” she air kissed him, not seeming to notice how he leaned away when she entered his personal space. The blue eyes flicked to Arthur, “Who’s your friend?”

“Arthur, this is Morgause, Morgause this is Arthur,” muttered Ewan, now in possession of his pint and trying to back away. 

Morgause gave Arthur a top to toe appraisal, “Well  _hello_  Arthur,” she purred with a lick of her lips.  “Where has my cousin been hiding  _you_?”

Arthur saw Ewan gather up Leon and Owain’s drinks in an awkward manoeuvre and make his escape.  Utilising his best fake smile he let the blonde engage him in some flirtatious banter – Uther would be so proud - before drawing her companion into the conversation, not liking the way Morgause made no effort to include her friend even when the other woman handed her a glass of wine.

Morgause’s friend was named Hunith, a non flirty, non pretentious woman with a friendly smile.  Arthur liked her straight away; less so Morgause who seemed to be measuring him up to see if he would fit into her bed.  He suggested the women join him and his colleagues at their table and they immediately agreed as they were already acquainted with each other; Hunith’s eyes lit up when she saw Leon.  Arthur thought he saw a reciprocal light in the other man’s eyes and smiled to himself; he may be miserable right now but he wasn’t so fed up he couldn’t bear to see others happy.

He took his time over his third drink, enjoying the pleasant conversation, only having to remove Morgause’s hand from his leg three times before she seemed to get the hint and turned her glossy pouting lips in Owain’s direction.  Owain, newly divorced, was happy to oblige.

Thankful to be rid of the blonde’s attention he chatted briefly with Hunith about how beautiful he found the area, letting her tell him about places he really should explore whilst he was living here.

“You’re a teacher at the Foundation too?” asked Hunith when Arthur mentioned the reason for his temporary residence.  “What do you teach?  My...”

Hearing the Foundation mentioned, Ewan start moaning good naturedly about the lack of motivation of his GCSE students and how Arthur as English teacher had it easy. 

“Yea, Arthur’s the newbie,” laughed Leon before Arthur could give his reply to Hunith, looking back and forth between the newly acquainted pair searchingly, Arthur guessed he was trying to see if there was an attraction there; Leon was totally smitten.  He turned the conversation away from Arthur, “I don’t know what Ewan’s so narked about; he’s never worked in an inner city school where lack of motivation takes on a whole new level!”

“Leon, you worked in that school for two weeks when you were doing supply!”

“So, it was two weeks of hell!”  He winked at Hunith.  “It was like one of those movies where all the kids are supposedly misunderstood and all they need is that one teacher willing to devote the time and see underneath their bravado to lead them into greatness.”

“You managed that in two weeks did you?” mocked Ewan with a raised eyebrow.

“Did I heck as like; couldn’t wait to get out of there!”

Arthur laughed along with them, trying to ignore the wave of tiredness that threatened to take him, jerking back to full awareness when Leon said, “Hunith’s son Merlin is in your class Arthur.”   _Oh no no no no_.  Hunith was beaming with pride at the mention of her son.

Ewan and Leon made complimentary noises about Merlin, “ _All_  the teachers love Merlin,” said Leon.  “He’s a dream to teach.”

“I’ve already thanked you for getting him through his Maths A Level Leon, if you’re fishing.” She turned to Arthur, “I was _so_  proud when he took it at 15 and got an A.  I swear I don’t know where he got those brains from; certainly not me!” 

Ewan interjected, “I always said young Merlin is like a babelfish; his grasp on languages is better than mine.”

What the fuck was this; the Merlin fan club?  As if the week couldn’t get any worse; Arthur now found that he’d been making small talk with Merlin’s bloody mother.   _Hello, nice to meet you...yes I’m Merlin’s English teacher_  – Arthur checked his watch -  _yep, almost exactly a week ago tonight I was fucking your son in the shower, definitely an A+..._

Arthur knocked back the dregs of his drink and stood up abruptly, “Thanks for the drink but I’ve really got to get going now,” he shrugged into his jacket and nodded politely at Morgause and Hunith.  “It was great to meet you both.”

Once outside Arthur sagged against the wall outside and enjoyed a series of deep breaths.  _Merlin’s Mum was only a couple of years older than he was_.  Was it possible to be any more out of control of his life than he was right now?  All his brain could tell him, more than its desire for sleep, was that if Merlin’s Mum was in the pub, and Gaius was playing chess with a friend then Merlin was probably home alone, and all Arthur would have to do would be to... NO.   _What the hell was wrong with him?_

He was going to take a leisurely walk home, and then sink into the oblivion of his waiting bed; let sleep claim him and take away all his improper thoughts. 

By the time he made it home he had changed his mind at least five times about knocking on Merlin’s door.  Common sense finally prevailed.  Three double whiskies wasn’t quite enough inebriation to make  _that_ mistake.  He slunk in his front door and headed straight for the bathroom for a quick shower; once done he stumbled into the bedroom, wanting nothing more than to sleep.

He didn’t know why he wasn’t surprised or alarmed when he realised Merlin was asleep in his bed, curled up with a discarded text book on the pillow beside him; nor did he question his reasoning when he dropped his towel over the nearby chair and crawled in naked beside him.

*


	5. Shattered

Merlin woke up to find he was curled into a strong warm body, a strong sense of belonging seeped through him;  _Arthur_.  If he could bottle this feeling he would be a millionaire, but this was something he never wanted to share.

He’d fallen asleep in his boxers and t-shirt, discarding his jeans when he’d shucked under the covers, waiting for Arthur to come home after he’d used his Mum’s keycard to let himself in; his magic never worked on those locks for some reason.  This was the only way he could think of to get Arthur to even acknowledge him after this week of avoidance; if Merlin was waiting in his room then Arthur wouldn’t have a choice, he would have to talk to him.  It now seemed that Arthur had climbed into bed besides Merlin and joined him in his slumber; Merlin smiled and shifted closer.

“I suppose you think you’ve been very clever,” came Arthur’s voice through the darkness causing Merlin’s heart to sink at how defeated he sounded.

“How else was I going to get you to listen to me?” 

Arthur snorted, “So you were waiting in my  _bed_  to  _talk_  to me?”

“Yes...  _no_  I -” Merlin floundered, talking was his main goal but he would be lying if he didn’t admit he’d hoped for more.  “You -”

Arthur cut him off with a fierce kiss, flipping him fully onto his back and straddling him, roughly pinning his hands at by his sides.  “Is  _this_  what you want Merlin?” he growled, attacking his neck with his lips, biting along his collarbone, grinding his hips into Merlin’s straining arousal.  “You want me to fuck you?”

 _Hell yes_.  “Arthur...please.”  God how Merlin had missed this, missed Arthur.  He struggled to release his hands from Arthur’s grip, needing to touch him, to feel his skin beneath his questing hands.

“You make it very difficult,” Arthur was muttering to himself as he held fast on Merlin’s hands and nipped at his earlobe and began to make his way down his body; making light work of Merlin’s vintage ‘The Queen is Dead’ t-shirt, releasing his hands as he did so.  Merlin immediately planted both hands in Arthur’s golden hair and dragged him up for a searing kiss.

“...need you Arthur...last week has been hell...” Merlin’s thoughts were all over the place, he need to  _see_  Arthur...and in answer his magic opened the curtains a few inches slowly, letting in the moonlight; it was a full moon. 

Merlin bucked his hips with a pleading groan, needing contact with Arthur; their erections rubbing together in much needed friction.  “Gods Merlin,” moaned Arthur.  “You’re going to be the death of me.”

*

Arthur  _knew_  he should be restraining himself.  His moral compass was going haywire.  Every word his father ever said to him about right and wrong seem to spin in his head; and this  _was_ surely wrong even if Merlin felt like belonged in his arms.  Arthur Pendragon, such a disappointment to his father; nothing he had ever done had been good enough...  If his father could see him now, giving in to his base instincts, he’d be shaking his head in disapproval; Arthur Pendragon was  _weak_...but when he was with Merlin he felt strong and nothing felt better.  He’d told his father to pretty much go to hell a long time ago, and he did so again now; Merlin was  _his_  and he was going to take him now in this moment and worry about tomorrow when it arrived. The ache in his chest that had plagued him all week dissipated now he had Merlin in his arms; that had to mean something- right?

Merlin was beneath him, aroused and  _needing_  him; Arthur couldn’t think any more, not of his father or school or how he should be throwing Merlin out, he gave into it wholly.  Deftly he rid Merlin of his boxers and vaguely noted that the curtains were partially open allowing moonlight to enter the room and bathe Merlin’s pale body in white light as Arthur returned his attentions to his lips, their tongues clashing, Merlin conceding the power to Arthur, one hand still in his hair, the other tracing its way down Arthur’s muscular back to and grasping his arse in desperate need. 

Despite his inability to resist this raven haired blue eyed temptation Arthur was really fucking angry with himself for the weakness he felt whenever he was near Merlin.  He fought with himself, logic telling him this was his fault, his weakness, not Merlin’s...but it was Merlin who wouldn’t leave him alone, kept on teasing him with his pursuit of him... _driving him crazy_. 

Anger only had one outlet when the object of his torment was there beneath him...he turned his attentions to Merlin’s neck, “You think you can just let yourself in here when I told you I don’t want this..,” he bit down hard on the younger mans neck, marking him as his possessively; slowly following a path down Merlin’s body, licking, sucking, biting without mercy, loving it when Merlin whimpered in pleasure.  His right hand sought Merlin’s cock and gripped it tightly, the pad of this thumb softly rubbing the head, as his tongue traced a path and closed the gap from Merlin’s naval and replaced his thumb, teasing the weeping head as his hand pumped the smooth length.

Arthur was so hard, desperate to lose himself inside Merlin, but he wasn’t done with him yet, the anger within him needing to dominate the other.  With one last hungry taste of Merlin’s cock he released it completely, ignoring Merlin’s disappointed protest, “Turn over,” he commanded roughly, and Merlin did as he was bid, slowly, his eyes on Arthur as he arranged himself on all fours, offering his arse to Arthur who smiled cruelly and climbed off the bed, grabbed the lube out of the nightstand, “Over here,” he rasped, and Merlin, completely attuned to Arthur shifted his position, backing up to the edge of the bed until he met the tip of Arthur’s cock.  “ _Good boy_ ,” Arthur spread the lube liberally on his fingers and parted Merlin’s arse cheeks and roughly inserted a finger.  Merlin gasped and started to push back against him.

Arthur stilled him with his other hand, leaning forward to run kisses down the length of the Merlin’s spine, “You like that?”

“Fuck yes,” Merlin uttered.  “ _More_...”  He pushed against Arthur’s restraining hand as Arthur curled the finger inside him and brushed over his prostate.  “Gahh Arthur...”

Arthur withdrew the finger and replaced it with two, repeating the motion that caused Merlin such joy, relishing in the reaction as Merlin screamed.  Two fingers became three as he stretched him; Merlin attempted to slide one of his own hands to his cock and give it some attention but Arthur immediately batted it away, “Nobody touches that but me,” he ordered. “ _I’m_  in control of when you come.”

Merlin complied, shooting Arthur a glance of such pure lust that Arthur nearly released his own control that he was keeping tightly reigned; he was going to come inside Merlin or not at all. He removed his fingers, lubed his cock then began to nudge at Merlin’s waiting pink entrance. He slowly pushed in until he was fully sheathed; pausing there to make sure Merlin had adjusted to the intrusion.

He slid a hand beneath and fisted Merlin’s cock, pumping it hard as he pulled himself out of Merlin’s hole and thrust back in violently, relishing in the tightness and the heat around his cock.  He heard Merlin muttering “Yes, yessss...” and pulled out again, slamming back home with a groan of his own. 

He stilled the hand around Merlin’s member and tightly gripped the root tightly, “ _I’m_  in control of you,” he repeated, his other hand threading into Merlin’s raven mane and yanking his head back; he held on as he began to pound into him harshly, feeling the pressure slowly start to build inside him as he fought the desire to come, holding his grip in Merlin so that he couldn’t either.

“Arthuuur, please...mmnnnng...please...” Merlin was saying, wavering Arthur’s control slightly; causing his anger to spike again.

He yanked harder on Merlin’s head, bringing it back further so he could lean and take his mouth in a desperate kiss.  “Ask me nicely,” he demanded.  “Ask me to let you come.”

He could sense Merlin’s reluctance, “Arthur...please don’t...”  Arthur yanked his hair, fighting off his own orgasm as he continued to hammer into Merlin relentlessly, the sight of his own cock plundering the younger man heightening his arousal as he fought off his impending climax.

“ _Ask me_ ,” he squeezed Merlin’s cock as a reminder of this power over him.

“Mnnnng...gah...Arthur..!” panted Merlin.  Another squeeze. 

“Ask.  Me.”  He slowed his pace and pulled out completely and stepped back, taking his hand from Merlin’s hair as he did so

“No - don’t stop!”  Merlin cried, turning his head to look at Arthur with crazed blue eyes and seeing his resolve.  “Ok, ok...Let me come Arthur...please...let me fucking come!”

“That wasn’t so  _hard_  was it,” quipped Arthur, running his free hand over Merlin’s arse before thrusting back into the welcoming warmth and with a couple of slow strokes he resumed the punishing pace, releasing his hold on Merlin’s cock and pumping it in time with his thrusts. Merlin screamed, Arthur felt his channel tighten and felt the warm liquid rope over his hand, over the bed, over Merlin’s stomach in endless spurts as Merlin rode out his orgasm, which in turn triggered Arthur’s own release, Merlin’s name on his lips as he pumped his life force inside the pale skinned boy; it was possibly the most intense orgasm of his life. 

He pulled Merlin down onto the bed with him and managed to flip him so he was on his back before crawling half way up the bed and collapsing, exhausted, his head on Merlin’s navel, his arm around his hips.  He placed a kiss on Merlin’s belly button, his anger totally evaporated and fell into a deep sleep as the sheen of sweat covering both their bodies cooled in the watching moonlight.

*

Merlin was awake before Arthur.  He dressed himself in his jeans and sat cross legged on the sofa perusing a paperback he’d found on the desk, a bestseller he’d been intending to read but hadn’t gotten around to with all the reading for school; “The Forgotten Son”  by James Grainger.  Maybe Arthur wouldn’t mind lending it to him when he had finished reading it. 

He felt contented, Arthur had not rejected him, and although Arthur had been a little rough Merlin had loved it; his magic rejoiced and lay dormant for the first time since Arthur’s last rejection on Tuesday after English class.  This wouldn’t be easy, Merlin knew that.  Arthur was still his teacher, they would have to be careful; but no one needed to know.  Merlin was a poor liar, but it wasn’t really lying if nobody suspected in the first place was it?  He and Arthur were meant to be together; if he was never certain of anything else in his life again, he was 100% certain of this.  He felt like a  _girl_  admitting it to himself, but as there was no one else around to hear then what did it matter?

Padding into the bathroom Merlin started to run a bath, hoping the sound of running water would wake Arthur as he had a fancy for washing those golden locks...  Leaving the water running he returned to the bedroom just as Arthur was stirring.

“Morning sleepyhead,” he teased bounding over to the side of the bed and leaning over to plant a kiss on Arthur’s surprised lips, suddenly wandering why he’d gotten up and dressed when he could have been naked and entwined with this beautiful man who was looking at him now through sleep dazed blue eyes.

“Merlin?” he grumbled sleepily, running a hand through his sleep mussed blond hair as his eyes flicked possessively over Merlin, taking in the naked chest and the skin tight jeans.  He smiled, and Merlin released the breath he was holding in anticipation of another rejection from Arthur.  “Whattimisit?”

“Half nine,” Merlin answered, watching with amusement as Arthur groaned and pulled a pillow over his head.

“Too early for Saturday,” he muttered from beneath the pillow before throwing it to the floor and levering himself out bed and into the bathroom.  “Merlin, the water is getting cold!” he called after a couple of minutes.

Merlin, who had been thinking of barging in but not wanting to find Arthur doing something he really didn’t want to see, split his face in two with a beaming grin and opened the bathroom door.  Arthur was reclining in the large bath, covered in bubbles, watching Merlin’s approach with a gleam in his eye.  He opened his thighs and splashed the water in between them with a waggle of his eyebrows.  Merlin discarded his jeans and climbed in, leaning back against Arthur’s chest with a contented sigh as Arthur snaked his arms around his slender frame and pulled him closer. 

They washed one another’s bodies with a soapy sponge, then each other’s hair; not as difficult as it might sound from Merlin’s position with his back to Arthur.  Once done, Merlin was feeling horny as hell and almost cried in relief when Arthur’s strong fist closed around his obvious arousal. 

“Come on,” Arthur invited, and they both climbed out of the bath, wrapped each other in fluffy white towels and ran laughing into the bedroom, Arthur shoving Merlin onto the bed and landing on top of him winding them both, stopping the laughter as they searched one another’s eyes for recognition that this was what the other wanted, erections touching through the unwelcome barrier of their towels.  “Merlin I...”

Arthur’s mobile phone rang.  Arthur cursed and stopped what he was saying and levered himself off the bed, searching for the phone in his discarded jeans, leaving Merlin sighing with disappointment on the bed from the abrupt severance of contact. 

“Hello?” Arthur said into the handset.  “Yes, fine thanks – how was the show?  No I just got up...  What - now?  How long?  OK, OK sounds great, see you then – bye.”  He turned to Merlin, the affection from before gone as he began to pick up Merlin’s clothes and throwing them on the bed.  “Get dressed, Morgana will be here in a minute – you have to go.”

Merlin felt as though Arthur had just stabbed him through the chest as a horrible sense of déjà vu crept over him, “You’re throwing me out?”

“No... _yes_...” Arthur went into the bathroom and came out clutching Merlin’s jeans which he held out to him as he stood there still wearing just his towel.  “My sister –  _the headmistress_  – will be here any minute...   _Please_ , she can’t find you here.”

Merlin, spurred on by the panic in Arthur’s voice began to dress his damp body in yesterday’s clothes, his eyes not leaving Arthur’s face as he avoided his gaze and fixed on a spot just left of his head.  “Arthur -”

“You’ll have to go out the back,” he interrupted coldly, stepping past Merlin, drawing back the curtains and opening the patio doors.  He held up a hand as Merlin went to speak again, “You got what you came for –  _now please just go_.”

So he was to be thrown out with the bath water?  Merlin’s equilibrium, and with it his magic, began to shatter, simmering under his skin like a thousand hot needles trying to break through, and he knew he’d have to comply and get out of there  _right now_ , before something blew up.  He shot Arthur a pained look and was met with a blank mask, before running out of door and towards somewhere  _away_  from Arthur before he lost control completely.  Sixty seconds later all of the car alarms in the staff car park went off as the glass in the all of the windows shattered, leaving Merlin cowering behind an old VW Camper van, afraid of himself and this sudden lack of control.

*


	6. Separated

Arthur endured a whole day of Morgana, who was at a loose end as Edwin was a work, and seemed to think that her half brother would love nothing more than to spend the day looking round houses for sale as she had decided that she and Edwin needed a bigger place; Edwin’s take on this was unknown, but Arthur guessed that if Morgana wanted a bigger house then Edwin would have little choice in the matter.

So Arthur played Phil Spencer to Morgana’s Kirstie Allsopp; smiling, nodding, making pleasant comments about some terrible decor and in between viewings he made Morgana buy him a sandwich from the deli in Lynton.  They ate in the car, parked overlooking the sea near the Valley of the Rocks just outside of the village.  Arthur wasn’t really hungry despite missing breakfast, he kept thinking about Merlin and how he’d thrown him out this morning; it seemed he was destined to fuck the boy senseless then cast him aside as though he was nothing to him.  Merlin wasn’t  _nothing_ ; he was rapidly becoming Arthur’s  _everything..._ and he didn’t know how to handle it which was why he’d flipped after Morgana’s call that morning.  She had burst him out of the bubble again and he’d panicked, his feelings overwhelmed him and he’d snapped; he should never have let himself get into that situation again.  When he’d gotten home last night and found Merlin in his bed, he should have sorted it out then, gently, not given in to the hunger the boy always generated within him with no thought for the consequences; he had been quite rough last night, and Merlin  _wanting_  it didn’t excuse that did it? 

The consequences could be dire, Arthur was well aware of the legalities of sleeping with someone under 18 when in a position of trust*, over the age of consent or not.  Merlin had admitted he knew who his father was; he could sell his story to the paper in a fit of pique and tomorrow it could be front page news...or he could tell his mother, friends...another teacher...  All of which would result in the scandal that would shame his father and ruin Arthur.  Arthur couldn’t even be sure that this wasn’t Merlin’s plan all along; Merlin could be in it for the kiss and tell money...Arthur now knew that Merlin was a scholarship kid at the Foundation and that a cash injection would secure his future education without building up massive debts. 

Even as he thought this Arthur doubted there was any truth behind that theory, he  _knew_ Merlin wasn’t like that, and if there were truth in it, then maybe he deserved to be named and shamed...when he’d first met Merlin he hadn’t known his age and status as his student, but last night he had been in full possession of the facts and still he had not been able to resist; blaming it on whisky and fatigue did not cut it. 

Merlin seemed genuinely smitten with him; Arthur could only hope he was right and Merlin was not already on the phone to Max Clifford.  However, that did not mean that Arthur could carry on the relationship; again he would have to end it and lay it down in no uncertain terms to Merlin...  He didn’t want to hurt him; he wanted to  _protect_  him from pain...but how could he do that when he was the one about to inflict it?   _Could_  he continue the relationship?  If they were careful maybe they could...until Merlin met someone more suitable, his own age with similar interests, someone who could share those valuable teenage/uni years with him; who wanted to party, get drunk and smoke weed...  Arthur had been there and done that. No...a relationship, a  _real_  relationship not just based on sex, couldn’t work because of the age difference if nothing else... 

Morgana became tired of Arthur’s silent contemplation; she liked the focus of her step-brother’s attention on her, “What’s up with you?  Nervous about your date with the lovely Lance tomorrow?”

“What?  Oh –  _that_.”  Dammit he had forgotten about that in the whirlwind of the last 24 hours.  “No, not nervous...don’t think he’s my type Morg.”  As if his head wasn’t messed up enough, he was so  _confused_.

“Are you blind?  He’s bloody gorgeous!  If he batted for my team I’d be climbing over you to get to him,” she sighed dramatically, pretending to take Arthur’s temperature with her palm on his forehead.

“You don’t fool me; you’d never ditch Edwin for some  _obvious_  hunky bloke.  I know you love him, you must do considering the amount of time you used to spend ginger-bashing before you met him.”

Morgana chuckled, “You’re right of course...  Though I wouldn’t say Lance was ‘obvious’ Arthur.  Give him a chance, you might be surprised.”

Arthur didn’t want to give Lance a chance, but he had agreed to meet Lance tomorrow and out of courtesy he would keep the date and hope Lance would go for the friends option.  Before he did though; he’d have to have ‘the talk’ with Merlin, he had to set things right.  “OK sis, seeing as you ask so nicely I will give him a chance; just don’t go buying your hat yet alright?”

She pouted before a cheesy grin broke through; “I might put down a teeny deposit on the hat...the two of you look adorable together.”

Arthur forced a smile.   _If only she knew who he really wanted_. 

*

Merlin took himself off to Gwen’s once he’d gained control of himself and managed to evade Gaius, who had been alerted by the clamouring car alarms and was looking suspiciously like he knew who the culprit was; Merlin was not ready for that particular conversation of explaining why his magic was breaking free at seemingly random intervals and causing havoc.  Until today it had been the cracking mirror, books falling off shelves, some flickering lights and an exploding light bulb...  He’d totally lost control and he did not like it one little bit.  Both his Mum and Gaius had noticed the lights going awry and Merlin had made like it was a side effect of his practicing moving things with his mind; never admitting he’d mastered that years ago.  He’d always been scared to let them know just how strong his magic really was becoming – only his Grandpa knew the reality.

Gwen was worried about Merlin and said as much.  Apparently Will and Freya were too; their observations that Merlin hadn’t been himself since the start of term all too accurate.  He had been avoiding them in favour of trying to seek out Arthur; he had been moody when his attempts to get Arthur alone were thwarted.  Of course, he hadn’t been able to tell them what was happening, not when Arthur was a teacher; the girls thought he was hot, but how would that translate if they knew the truth?

“I’m fine honestly,” lied Merlin to make his friend feel better, pasting a smile on his face that fooled no one, but Gwen was a good enough friend not to press it, but warned that Freya was coming over later and she might not be so tactful. 

By late afternoon Merlin and Gwen were slightly tipsy, and when Freya turned up with Will in tow they settled down to watch ‘New Moon’, and Merlin managed to get his mind off Arthur briefly until he became immersed in the plot, sympathising with Bella’s behaviour in Edward’s absence.   _Bloody Arthur Pendragon..!_

The TV screen flickered and went blank as the power cut out.  Merlin grimaced and thought of fluffy bunnies, pushing Arthur to the back of his mind as Will and Gwen went to check the fuses, coming back with a perplexed looks on their faces as the power surged back to life by itself.  Merlin was just glad he hadn’t shattered any glass; he was becoming a danger to be around.

When the film finished and Gwen turned off the DVD player there was a re run of the last series of ‘The Apprentice’ running on BBC2, whetting the public’s appetite for the forthcoming new series.  Merlin rarely watched TV and had never seen it, so was extremely uneasy when Gwen said to all of them, “Did you know Sir Uther is Mr Pendragon’s Dad?”

“ _No way_!” Freya turned to Gwen, wide eyed; she had developed quite the crush on Arthur. “How do you know that?”

“Mum told me – she’s on the board of governors who approved Mr Pendragon’s appointment as English teacher.  I suppose it’s obvious if you think about it, Pendragon is hardly a common name is it?”

“When did you find this out?” pouted Freya, obviously thinking she’d missed out on such hot gossip.

“So why is he an English teacher then?  He must be absolutely loaded if Sir Uther’s his Dad, he’s a squillionaire or something,” asked Will.

Arthur had a famous father?  Merlin, confused, watched the girls in fascination.  “Er, who’s Uther Pendragon?”

“Merlin!” chorused Will, Gwen and Freya, shaking their heads in unison.

“Mate, sometimes I wonder if you live on this planet,” laughed Will and pointed at the telly. “ _That’s_  Uther Pendragon.”

Merlin turned his attention to the screen and saw a fifty-something man, probably once very good looking, exuding confidence, power and  _presence_  sitting at what looked like a boardroom table, flanked on either side by suited up lackeys.  “Oh,” he managed.  “What’s this programme again?”

Another chorus of groans and ‘Oh Merlin’s’ as the concept of the show was explained to him. “So Ar-Mr Pendragon’s father is a TV presenter?”

Three people rolled their eyes, all wondering how Merlin could be mooted as such a genius yet not have a clue about TV gold such as The Apprentice.

“Don’t you ever watch TV Merlin?” complained Freya when Merlin had gone glassy eyes over their attempts to explain the concept of Dragon’s Den when he had made the mistake of asking in relation to Arthur’s father.

“I watch Supernatural and Dr Who...” Merlin offered before sheepishly muttering under his breath, “...and Time Team.”

“Well Sam and Dean  _are_  hot,” mused Freya before doing a double take as she saw Merlin absently rubbing his collarbone, briefly exposing the skin there.  “Merlin, what the fuck is  _that_ on your neck?”

*

Sunday morning brought a clear cloudless sky and perfect walking weather; Arthur’s guilty prayers for rain going unanswered.  He was dog tired again; another sleepless night, half hoping Merlin would make an appearance so that they could talk and half hoping he wouldn’t show up because he didn’t think he had the strength to tell him he didn’t want him...to try to figure out a way to keep this thing between them going, which was what he wanted if he was completely honest with himself.  It seemed to matter less and less that Merlin had lied to him when they first met; all he could think about was how Merlin made him feel and how much he wanted to be with him. 

Merlin had not snuck into his room, and Arthur knew he wouldn’t get chance to see him before he went for the walk with Lance; he didn’t have his number –  _why didn’t he have his number_? – and he could hardly go knocking on his front door for fear of encountering Hunith or Gaius and having to pretend he had popped in for that cup of tea he’d yet to enjoy with Gaius.

Lance was punctual; he arrived in his work Landrover to pick Arthur up, looking so utterly gorgeous that Arthur almost wished he had met him before Merlin and then maybe he wouldn’t be in this mess.  Even as he thought it, his heart was rejecting the idea; Arthur had to work really hard to produce a genuine welcome smile for his ‘date’ as he climbed into the passenger seat, waving a friendly ‘hello’ as they drove past Hunith on the way down the drive.

“I thought we’d park at Woody Bay,” Lance was saying enthusiastically.  “Then take a walk along the cliff path to Hunter’s Inn, have a pint and a sandwich, then take the higher cliff path back.  It’s about six miles.  Sound good?”

It did sound good, and Arthur hoped his legs weren’t as tired as his brain seemed to be. “Sounds perfect,” he smiled at Lance, wondering when to broach the subject of ‘friends’.

He did have a good time, he really did; the ache in his chest never went away, but he worked hard to ignore it.  The walk along the cliff path against sheer drops was exhilarating and the views over the Bristol Channel to Wales were crystal clear.  They only passed one other person as they made their way along, Lance talking about his job as a National Trust ranger, Arthur encouraging him to do so partly to avoid talking about himself.  Lance was good company; why couldn’t Arthur fancy him?  He had a perfect arse, neatly encased in green combat trousers; Arthur could appreciate it but he really did  _not_  want to tap it.  He preferred skinny backsides in tight jeans.  Or no jeans.   _What the fuck was wrong with him?_   He tried to give himself a good talking to, telling himself off for  _not_  wanting to shag Lance.  He decided to ignore himself.

Two hours or so later, after stopping to admire the views a few times and Lance checking on a geocache he had placed on the headland, they made their way to Hunter’s Inn for lunch.  The inn was situated in a natural valley and served as a half way point for the walk.  It was very popular with hikers and tourists passing through the area.  They sat outside on the busy terrace and Lance went inside to get the drinks and order food; butternut squash soup and fresh bread rolls. 

Arthur felt apprehensive; he knew now was the time to tell Lance he didn’t fancy him, it had to be done.  Lance had sat opposite him and was staring at Arthur wordlessly and Arthur’s heart sank as he recognised the look in his eyes. 

“Lance -”

“Arthur -”

They both laughed nervously and Lance reached over and covered Arthur’s hand with his, rubbing the pad of his thumb over the back of his hand.  Arthur found he couldn’t pull his hand away or break eye contact as he tried not to recoil from the other man’s touch; a touch that wasn’t Merlin’s.  He realised in that moment that he only ever wanted Merlin to be the one touching him; and that meant...what?

“Two soups with rolls,” said a vaguely familiar waitress appearing at their table and placing a tray in front of them before unloading the contents.  She was a pretty young red head and was looking between Arthur and Lance with wide eyes and a rather obvious blush, flicking a nervous glance at their joined hands she stammered, “Er, enjoy your meal,” and fled.

Arthur and Lance watched her departure with raised eyebrows, looking back at one another with shared amusement before Arthur thought to snatch his hand away.  “Look Lance...” he began, running his liberated hand through his hair and trying to find the words.

“Arthur, it’s OK,” Lance said with a sad smile.  “I know you don’t...like me like that.  It’s fine, honestly.”

 _Thank fuck for that_.  “I’m sorry Lance,” sighed Arthur.  “I’m in love with someone else.” There, he had finally admitted it.

*

Merlin had just arrived back home after sleeping over at Gwen’s; her Dad was big in steel or something and they were loaded, having more spare bedrooms than Merlin had socks.  He planned on taking a shower and then trying to find Arthur.  Now he’d had time to think about it he realised that of course he couldn’t have been in Arthur’s room when his sister arrived; the last thing he wanted was to fuck up Arthur’s life and he feared that just by being in it he was doing quite a good job of doing just that.

He let himself into the flat, pleased to find Gaius and his Mum were out.  Walking into his bedroom he threw himself onto his bed and kicked off his trainers.  His mobile phone beeped in his pocket and fished it out to read the text message:

Freya: OMG. Just seen Mr Pendragon HOLDING HANDS with a BLOKE at pub. HOT.

Merlin stared at the message as if it might self destruct if he looked at it long enough.  Freya worked as a part time waitress at The Hunter’s Inn; Arthur was there with someone else?  _Arthur was holding hands with another man?_   Merlin wondered why he was surprised...what did he even  _know_  about Arthur anyway...he could have any number of blokes on the go.  He’d had to learn off his friends about Arthur’s father being so famous...  He had to have read the text wrong...he checked again it still read the same;  _Mr Pendragon holding hands with a bloke.  Someone else.  Not Merlin.  Another bloke..._   He closed his eyes to hold in the tears that were trying to push their way free.

Without Merlin even realising, his eyes glowed amber beneath his squeezed shut eyelids, the sky grew darker and there was a crack of thunder outside the window.  Merlin curled himself up into a ball on his bed, trying to block out the pain that text message had brought, totally oblivious to the sudden change in weather outside as clouds gathered with speed and a tremendous thunderstorm raged overhead, making its way swiftly to south and soaking the two figures who were now making a steady climb from the inn to the upper coastal path without any cover.

*

 


	7. Missed

“Cheer up Arthur for heaven’s sake!” huffed Morgana as she placed a pint of stout in front of him and sat besdie him, nudging him good naturedly with her shoulder.  “You’ve had a face as long as Livery Street all week!”

 

“I have not,” replied Arthur, knowing damn well he had.  His grumpy demeanour had increased tenfold since he’d been practically frog marched to the pub for a ‘quick birthday drink’ in his honour; he turned thirty today.  “I just don’t like that I’m no longer twenty-something.”  Might as well offer a convenient excuse as he couldn’t really tell her what was really bothering him.

 

“Yeah, well at least you’re not on the shelf anymore,” she smirked.  “Thanks to me-eee!” 

 

“For the umpteenth time Morg, I – am – not – sh-dating – Lance.  We are friends, that’s all.” It was hard not to form some kind of a bond with a person after the experience they had shared in that awful freak thunderstorm.  Arthur woefully eyed the splint on his left hand where he had broken two fingers; Lance had got him to the A&E and stayed with him until he was fixed up, which had been a bloody long wait.  He liked Lance a lot, but that was it.  He kind of had tunnel vision right now, and Lance was not at the other end of said tunnel.

 

Try as he might, Arthur hadn’t been able to get Merlin alone, even though he couldn’t actually make up his mind if he even should; he hid behind a shield of  _Mordred_.  The last thing Arthur had said to the person he was in love with, outside of the classroom, had been ‘You got what you came for –  _now please just go_.’  He felt like jumping off Foreland Point.  What the fuck had been going through his stupid blonde moron head that he would say something like that to someone like Merlin, someone so God damned  _important_?  Now it had been almost two weeks –  _two long miserable weeks_  - he had been apart from Merlin for longer than he had known him and perhaps knowing that should make him feel better, but it didn’t – fucking _Mordred_  - and the great big empty hole in his chest made it presence felt every waking moment, and if he was lucky enough to get any sleep, most of his slumber was aware of the absence.  How could something be empty yet hurt so much?

 

“Hmm, why else would you move in with the guy if there is nothing going on?” 

 

“She has a point mate,” added Edwin with a ‘no point arguing, Morgana is always right’ look on his face. 

 

“I’m moving in with Lance because he asked – as his  _lodger_  - and because I’m fed up of eating room service meals; I want to be able to cook myself beans on toast at midnight if the fancy takes me!”   _And_  because it will keep me out of temptation’s path...  “Besides, it’ll save the school a bomb on rent, you should be pleased.”

 

“Oh, I am  _pleased_  Arthur...I only want to see you happy.”

 

Arthur felt a twinge of guilt as the lie tripped off his tongue, “I am happy.  I’m also still  _single_ thank you very much.”

 

Morgana’s come back was cut off by the noisy arrival of Leon, Owain, Ewan, and Gaius.  Soon the pub was half full of people Arthur has known for less than a month all wishing him happy birthday; Lance, several other teachers from the Foundation, Morgause and –  _fuck_  – Hunith.  _Yeah -_   _happy birthday to me_.  Arthur downed his pint and moved swiftly onto lemonade; it wouldn’t do to be drunk and in control of his own mind right now.

 

Two hours and a few more drinks later Arthur was wondering how he could make a swift exit with minimum fuss.  He wasn’t enjoying himself, and to be perfectly honest,  _he didn’t want to enjoy himself_ , he wanted to go home and...well, not be stuck in this hell! 

 

“Oh bloody crap!  Time we moved to another pub?” suggested Leon staring gloomily at the door.  Arthur and a few of the others within hearing range turned to see a parade of their students trailing in.  He recognised most of them; Merlin was last in through the door. Arthur’s heart sank into his boots, pounding heavily.

 

“I’d say so,” laughed Hunith at the sight of her son.  “Can’t have him cramping my style!” She waved at Merlin whose face split into a goofy grin at the sight of his Mother and he started over to greet her, his step faltering and his grin dissipating as his eyes briefly met Arthur’s.

 

“Mum!” he kissed her on the cheek.  “Buy me a drink?”  He scanned the table and said hello to a few of the teachers and his uncle. 

 

“Of course,” said Hunith with a grin not unlike Merlin’s.  “Coke or orange juice?”

 

Everyone, apart from Arthur, laughed.  He was wishing he had not even had one alcoholic drink as his head was a bit spaced – not good when in the immediate vicinity of your dirty little secret and his mother – plus, he really needed to pee.  He clambered to his feet, using Lance’s shoulder as leverage and muttered he would be back in a few.

 

He used the loo and resisted the temptation to lean his forehead against the cool tiles on the wall to fob off his impending headache.  Leaving the Gents he slipped out the back door into a drizzly empty backyard; the smokers always went out the front.  He leant back against the wall, not caring his hair and face were being covered in a light misting of rain because it felt so good to be in the fresh air and  _away_.

 

“Your boy is lovely, Hubbell**,” said Merlin, making Arthur jump as he had not heard the back door open again.  He closed his eyes.  Finally, Merlin was here and they were alone.  Two weeks was too long.

 

Arthur knew where Merlin got the line from, and would normally have more than appreciated the reference; he just didn’t understand why Merlin was using it on him.  “What boy?”

 

“I hear you’re moving in with him.”

 

Oh.   _OH_.  “Lance?”  Arthur frowned.  “Is he why you’ve been avoiding me?”

 

Merlin moved so he was standing directly in front of Arthur.  “No, I’ve been avoiding you because you are a dick.”

 

Arthur supposed he deserved worse and... _Gods_ , Merlin was so close, he could just reach out and...  His left hand moved of its own accord and was half way to Merlin’s cheek before Arthur was able to pull himself back.

 

“I’m not moving in with Lance...I  _am_  I have but not like how you’re implying,” he didn’t know why but it was imperative that Merlin understand this.  “There’s nothing going on.”

 

“Riiight,” Merlin’s eyes were filled with hurt.  “So you weren’t holding hands with  _Lance_ on that Sunday at The Hunter’s?”  Arthur felt his face suffuse with colour, feeling as though he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  “The look on your face says it all Arthur.”  Merlin shook his head sadly and went to walk away, and this time Arthur did not stop his hand as he reached out to him and stopped him in his tracks.  He was surprised to find Merlin was shaking. 

 

Arthur couldn’t stop himself, the proximity was too much to bear, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Merlin’s and met little resistance as he teased Merlin’s lips open and deepened the kiss into an almost desperate fight for survival between the two of them, and then  _Merlin_  seized control, backing Arthur into the wall, grinding into him, both of his hands making a mess of his dampened blond hair.  It felt like hours passed as they enjoyed one another almost feverishly.  Arthur wanted to flip Merlin round and fuck him into the wall, he wanted to be everywhere, over every inch of his perfect pale skin, he wanted... 

 

The sound of a door slamming somewhere nearby had both of them jumping apart, and a vague tipsy awareness of where they were and who was on the other side of that door began dawn on Arthur.  Merlin looked thoroughly ashamed of himself.  He backed away and came to lean on the wall beside Arthur.

 

“Why were you holding his hand?” he asked quietly and Arthur could tell, even after four pints of stout, that the world was riding on this answer.

 

“ _He_  was holding  _mine_ ,” Arthur took a deep breath and hooked his pinkie into Merlin’s.  “Thirty seconds later I made it clear I wasn’t interested in him that way, and I told him I was in love with someone else.  I’m in love with  _you_  Merlin.” 

 

Arthur exhaled and waited.

 

*

 

Merlin couldn’t breathe.  Had Arthur really just told him he loved him?  That he  _wasn’t_  with the gorgeous model like hunk he had been sitting next to when Merlin and his friends had traipsed into the pub earlier?  “Say that again,” he requested in a whisper, still standing beside Arthur, only their little fingers touching, not quite able to turn and look him in the eye.

 

“I lo -”

 

The door flew open.  “Arthur!  Arthur are you out here?”  Lance’s head appeared in the doorway.  “Ah, there you are.  What are you doing, we’re moving somewhere else.”

 

“I was just getting some fresh air,” said Arthur pushing himself off the wall and shooting Merlin a loaded glance.  “I was thinking of heading off in a bit actually; I’m beat.”

 

“It’s  _your_  birthday bash, you can’t go home yet,” Lance replied as if the decision was already made.  Merlin shifted himself into the other man’s line of vision, annoyed at him trying to commandeer Arthur, and for the fact that Arthur had been about to tell him he loved him; he _needed_  to hear it again.

 

“Oh, hello,” greet Lance, staring at Merlin with suspicion, then looking back at Arthur with narrowed eyes.  “You’re Hunith’s son right?  One of Arthur’s students?”

 

“I’m Merlin.”  He didn’t bother holding his hand out, playing every inch the sullen teenager.  “I was just telling Mr Pendragon about the ghost that haunts this pub.”

 

“Er, right, yes Mr Pendragon,” smirked Lance turning away from Merlin and back to Arthur. “You ready?”

 

“Sure, I’ll come for one more drink.  Then, I’m going home.” Arthur took the door Lance was holding open ready to leave.  “Bye Merlin!”

 

Merlin watched Arthur leave and felt calmness settle over him; these last couple of weeks had been painful, literally.  He’d learnt a lot about his magic in that time, his limitations and abilities; and come to realise that his magic needed Arthur has much as he did.   _Arthur had woken the magic up._

 

He waited five minutes so that Arthur’s party would have chance to vacate the pub, and went to make his excuses.  Mordred was not happy, it was his 18th birthday celebration, his actual birthday having fallen mid-week.  He whined and pouted at Merlin not to leave, but he stuck to his guns and his excuse of a sudden headache; he hated to ruin the older boy’s birthday celebration, but he wanted to wreck Arthur’s even less.  Perhaps spending so much time with Mordred these last two weeks had not been so wise; Mordred was obviously thinking Merlin wanted to get back together with him, and he couldn’t honestly say he hadn’t encouraged that to make himself feel better about Arthur being, as he had thought, with Lance.

 

Finally escaping by promising Mordred he would call round tomorrow, Merlin made his way home to The Avalon Hotel, hovering a hand over the lock on Arthur’s door to let his magic work and letting himself in.  This time he didn’t wait in the bed; Arthur had intimated he would be home soon; he settled himself on the sofa and started to read the paperback that was still on the desk.

 

Twenty minutes passed before he heard the key in the lock and Arthur appeared.  Merlin, still wary, looked at him hopefully.

 

Arthur discarded his jacket on the end of the bed and stepped closer to Merlin, “Come here,” he invited and Merlin threw the book down and ran into Arthur’s arms, sighing in blessed satisfaction as the strong arms pulled him close, inhaling Arthur’s musky scent as his hair tickled his nose.  This was  _home_.

 

When they finally pulled apart, Arthur firmly set Merlin away from him, ignoring his growl of protest.  “We have to talk,” he said ruefully, the four words nobody wants to hear when they’re feeling as horny as Merlin was right now.  “Sit down.”  Merlin did as Arthur commanded, looking up at him through lust filled eyes.  Arthur sighed and sat down at the other end of the sofa. 

 

Feeling bold, Merlin teased, “Are you going to say it again?”

 

Rolling his eyes Arthur smiled, “I love you Merlin,” he admitted for the second time that night.  “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and it scares the shit out of me.”  He kept his eyes on Merlin’s as he spoke.  Merlin melted and his magic went wild, sending a euphoric tingle down his spine.

 

“I missed you,” continued Arthur, obviously going for the full confession.  “I’m sorry for how I acted, but you have to understand the gravity of our situation.  I could get into some real shit if we were found out; now that I am your teacher this is  _illegal_.”

 

“I’m old enough to -”

 

“No, I’m in a position of authority and you are under 18, the Sexual Offences Act of 2000 makes us illegal.”  Merlin hadn’t known this, but it sounded as if Arthur had memorised it. 

 

“But when we met you didn’t know,” argued Merlin, suddenly desperate; this wasn’t going the way he had hoped it would.

 

“No, I didn’t, but that doesn’t change the facts,” he pinched the bridge of his nose.  “You knew I was your teacher though Merlin; why did you do it?”

 

“I didn’t plan it, I swear.  I just felt  _something_  and I can’t explain it; I forget everything but how you were making me feel,” he stood up, and paced in front of the sofa.  “I’m eighteen in December.  After that it doesn’t matter.”

 

Arthur laughed bitterly, “It kind of still does, I’ll still be your teacher; it’s ethically and morally fucked up.”

 

Merlin stopped dead, “You’re only standing in right, for Mrs Winter?  You’ve never said - but teaching - it’s not your normal job is it?  We only have to be careful until she comes back in March...”

 

“Merlin I -”

 

“ _No_ ,” Merlin dropped to his knees and placed his hands on Arthur knees, eliciting a gasp from him.  “Don’t do this, don’t make excuses.  You said you loved me.  I couldn’t stand being away from you; I was so fucking jealous of this bloke you were seen holding hands with.  We  _need_ to be together, to get to know one another, we deserve that chance.   _Please_  Arthur.”  He scooted himself more snugly between Arthur’s thighs and slid his hands closer to his groin; he wasn’t adverse to sneaky tactics. 

 

He heard his Grandpa’s voice in his head from the previous night’s web chat, when he old man had finally caved to Merlin’s pleading and told him what he meant by ‘significant’;  _soulmate_. He grinned, it was too soon to hit Arthur with that, but that overused word when spoken with sincerity and understanding from his grandfather’s lips made everything slot into place, especially now Merlin knew Arthur loved him.

 

*

 

Arthur groaned as Merlin’s hands moved higher.  The moral compass had clearly fallen out of his backpack some time ago; because despite his protestations about the legalities and the ethics, everything Merlin had just said made perfect sense.  Didn’t they deserve that chance? He never wanted to feel the way he had felt these last days without Merlin ever again.

 

“Alright,” he ground out, holding back the smile.  “No more sex until you turn eighteen though, let’s take things slow, get to know each other.”  Arthur couldn’t believe he was saying this considering the current  _excitement_  but it was the only way he was going to allow himself to be with Merlin.

 

He let his smile break loose as Merlin’s face fell as he jumped back and exclaimed, “What!? NO  _WAY_!”

 

*

 


	8. Mutual

“’Fess up Merlin, what’s with the long face?”  Freya, Gwen and Will had him surrounded.  They were having some kind of  _intervention_  on his behalf like he was some kind of junkie; they weren’t totally off the mark – Arthur was his drug of choice.  He really must have been acting like a prick for them to worry this much these last few weeks.

“Nothing,” fibbed Merlin, images of Arthur and Lance popping into his head as they had been wont to do all day.  Arthur was moving in to Lance’s today.   _Lance_  (in Merlin’s head the other man’s name was always spoken with italics) was probably going to find some excuse to strut around the house without his top on and ‘accidentally’ walk in to the bathroom when Arthur was in the shower.  How long would Arthur love Merlin for when that brown eyed fucker of a hunk was in such close proximity?  Why hadn’t he made some stipulations of his own...Arthur had said there would be no sex until December; Merlin should have said there would be no moving in with Lance - ever. 

He really should have stayed home and moped about it by himself today but had foolishly thought that he would be better off in company.  What a wonderful way to spend Sunday afternoon; cornered by your best friends.

“Mate, you’ve been moody, distracted and downright sullen,” said Will, fixing Merlin with a stare that said ‘I’m totally serious’.  “Then you start hanging about with bloody  _Mordred_  again, which after last time is just  _asking_  for it.   _What’s going on with you?”_

Merlin sighed heavily and flopped back onto Freya’s bed, covering his face with a pillow.  He was touched by their concern, but he couldn’t tell them the truth.  “G’way,” he mumbled from underneath the pillow.  Someone snatched it from his grasp and flung it across the room.

“Merlin, we’re serious,” Gwen took his hand and squeezed it.  “We care about you that’s all.”

Now he just felt guilty.  “Sorry guys, I’m happy that you care but I’m  _fine_.”

“Who was the hickey from?” asked Freya with concern.  “Is Mordred..?”

“ _None of your business_!” snapped Merlin, attempting to sit up but only managing to prop himself on his elbows as he looked at his friends.  “Look, leave it OK?  I promise if I need to talk about anything you’ll all be the first to know.”

How had it come to this?  After Arthur’s declaration last night Merlin knew he should be on cloud 9.  He had been.  Arthur had declared there would be no sex until Merlin turned 18; Merlin had argued that was closing the stable door after the horse had bolted and that if they were going to be together and get to know one another properly then sex was a part of that now...and that if anyone were to find out about them then they wouldn’t be able to prove they weren’t sleeping together so they may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb.  Merlin had straddled Arthur’s lap and attempted to break the new rule before the hour was up; Arthur had managed to resist, and Merlin  _knew_  it had been a struggle for him to resist, but he’d made a joke about Merlin only arguments being animal themed idioms and lifted him off of his lap. 

Merlin had wanted to stay the night, sleep in Arthur’s arms, but Arthur had said that was too much temptation.  So they had slept apart, in rooms none too far from each other, and Merlin had ached for Arthur; his, and his magic’s, euphoria at the declaration of love fading into disbelief as his mind played erotic movies about Arthur and Lance living in such close proximity.  Arthur had said he loved him, but he was still moving in with another man, and by God Merlin was jealous. 

He knew it was illogical.  Arthur wouldn’t tell Merlin he loved him if he didn’t, it wasn’t as though he was saying it to get a shag; because he could have had that anyway, and he was turning it down.  What happened if Arthur’s sexual frustration found an outlet in Lance?  Lance would be seeing and spending time with Arthur every day; Merlin would have to take what he could get.

“Merlin!”

“Huh?  What?” Merlin snapped back into the room.

“That is exactly what we were talking about; where were you just then?”

“Sorry guys, I was fantasising about Mr Pendragon,” he said, hiding the truth in plain sight.  _Lance_  wasn’t getting his hands on his Arthur; Merlin wasn’t going to let Arthur get sexually frustrated and he certainly wasn’t waiting until his 18th birthday; no siree. 

“Not you too Merlin,” giggled Freya, easily distracted by thoughts of the blonde English teacher, which only mildly annoyed Merlin seeing as he had inserted him into the conversation so couldn’t really complain when his friend went all misty eyed.

“So, Gwen...when you gonna tell Cedric you like him?” Time to shift the focus of their attention.

“What?  No, I don’t -”

“Like you’ve all said, I’ve been in a world of my own for weeks, and even _I_  have noticed the way you look at him.”

Gwen pouted and crossed her arms defensively.  Merlin smiled wickedly and allowed his attention to be held by his friends for a while; he’d plot Arthur’s downfall later when he was alone.

*

Arthur couldn’t ride his motorbike with broken fingers, so Lance put it into the back of a pickup truck he had borrowed from work, along with the rest of Arthur’s belongings; some clothes, a few books and his laptop.  He’d left the rest of his life behind in his house in Wales when he’d relocated to Devon for the teaching job. 

They set off for Lance’s place and Arthur relaxed back against the headrest and closed his eyes.  He was so tired he thought he might even fall asleep, but even cat naps seemed to elude him.  Life was so unfair; first of all he hadn’t been able to sleep for being apart from Merlin, but that no longer applied and he and Merlin were a couple now...albeit a clandestine one...and sleep had eluded him last night due to sexual frustration - wanking did absolutely nothing to abate it - and worry about their situation.

He couldn’t bear to think of  _not_  being with Merlin.  That was no longer an option; he had accepted Merlin’s importance in his life, given in to the fight and felt so much better for it. Merlin was  _his_.  He could wait two months for Merlin to turn 18, he  _could_.  Sex wasn’t everything.

How difficult could it be?  Arthur had been pretty much celibate since he was 23; well, he had had a few half hearted relationships, but they never worked out and as he didn’t do the casual sex thing...but then again he hadn’t been that bothered, there had been nobody who he had wanted to be with 24/7 like he did Merlin.  Now that he had Merlin though...could he stick to his own rule now that he had eaten the forbidden fruit?  Merlin had argued that they were already lovers, the ‘damage’ was done, why hold back now?

Merlin was a spiky young man who could hold his own in an argument, particularly one pertaining to whether or not he was going to ‘get any’; Arthur had been impressed at the points he had thrown at him, but had been equally determined to stick to his guns.  He was a Pendragon; he could be determined when he wanted to be – didn’t the fact that he refused speak to his father in seven years prove that?

That was kind of how he’d ended up in this teaching job really; it could all be traced back to Uther Pendragon and a younger Arthur’s need to gain his father’s approval.   _What a joke_.  If it hadn’t been for non nonsense Morgana, Arthur would be married to Lady Georgina Humphries and living a thoroughly miserable life as his father’s pawn and his wife’s baby making stud; when he’d agreed to marry he had finally gained his father’s approval, and for a time he had convinced himself it was what he wanted.  Morgana had talked him down.  Thank fuck for Morgana.  Uther had threatened to disown him.  Arthur had no longer cared; if his father wanted his whole life in exchange for a brief moment of approval then he could go screw himself.  So that was why he was here; working for room and board for Morgana, because she’d saved him from himself, because she’d come to him in need making it impossible for him not to offer his services...because he owed her big time. 

Based on that, he owed it to her not to let her down; and that meant keeping it legal with Merlin even if he couldn’t bring himself to stay away completely as he knew he should.

Luckily for Arthur, Lance had sensed his contemplative mood and the drive to his house had been in comfortable silence.  When they pulled up on the drive Arthur’s jaw dropped and he realised he hadn’t even considered what the house would be like.  It was a  _massive_  detached house set off the cliff road a couple of miles past Lynton.  Arthur was impressed and wondered how Lance came to own such a fantastic piece of real estate when he worked a ranger for the National Trust...a perfectly respectable job, but not exactly fat cat salary.

“Wow,” he exclaimed as he climbed out of the truck and looked up at the house in awe, three storeys, balconies, unrestricted sea views; this was the dream house of thousands.

“Fancy me  _now_  Pendragon?” teased Lance and Arthur shot him a surprised look, sensing a grain of hope behind the question.  He chose not to reply.  Big houses and money didn’t impress him.  He had plenty of the latter in his own right. 

He hoped he hadn’t made a mistake by agreeing to lodge here; it didn’t seem that Lance was in need of the money in light of the size of the house, Merlin was less than happy about it, and now it seemed that Lance was not totally accepting of Arthur’s unavailability.  Fuck.

*

Merlin sat cross legged on his bed and glared at his laptop.  “Is he keeping his hands to himself?” Merlin asked half jokingly, holding his breath for the answer, thinking of some way to use his magic to make Lance put on a load of weight and go bald.  Talking to Arthur over the webcam was better than nothing, but not being able to see Arthur’s face in person made it difficult to get an accurate read. 

“He’s behaving impeccably,” came the reply and Merlin scowled.  Damned  _gentleman_ , trying to woo his Arthur away...

“I’m not happy that you are there with him and I am here on my own.  How are we going to ‘get to know one another’ when you are so far away now?  It’s not like I can just pop over.” He could if he admitted his magic to Arthur; he was learning so much so fast now that he had truly embraced it...he just wasn’t ready to tell Arthur about it.  It was too soon, Arthur would think he was a freak, and then there was the whole ‘magic led you to me’ business.

“I’m working on it,” Arthur replied.  “It’s better that I am away from the hotel, someone would have seen you eventually.”

“I’m sick of this already,” groaned Merlin.  “I wish you were here.”

Arthur leaned into the camera as if it were Merlin’s ear.  “Pretend I am,” he whispered, the seductive tone in his voice heading straight for Merlin’s cock, which was presumably the intention.  “I want you to touch yourself and think of me.”

Merlin grinned and unzipped his jeans. 

“Take off your clothes, all of them,” Arthur commanded with a smirk.  “T-shirt first.”  Merlin wriggled out of his black t-shirt and threw it on the floor besides the bed.

“You too,” he said, looking intently at the screen as Arthur removed his shirt and pushed his laptop away from him a little so Merlin could see.  “God Arthur, you’re so fucking  _hot_ , there’s no way I can last till December without touching you in person.”

“ _Some_  touching  _may_  be permitted if you’re a good boy.  Now, jeans off.”  Merlin complied and adjusted his laptop so that Arthur could see all of him too.  Arthur followed suit by taking off his jeans without Merlin having to ask.  He was commando beneath his jeans and very obviously turned on.  He stroked a hand along his shaft and waggled his eyebrows at Merlin. “I want you naked Merlin.”

Merlin’s boxers hit the floor; he was painfully hard.  He looked hungrily at the screen and at Arthur’s good hand as it continued to stroke gently along his length.  Merlin wished that was _his_  hand.

“Touch yourself,” Arthur leaned into the camera.  “Make yourself come for me.”

Merlin groaned and gripped his cock in his right hand, leaning back and propping himself up with his pillows.  He reached onto his nightstand for the lube and coated his hand, then slowly began to pump his fist up and down, his eyes never leaving Arthur who was in a similar pose on the other side of the camera. 

“Imagine my tongue on your cock Merlin,” Arthur teased, increasing the speed in which he fisted his own.  Merlin drank in his athletic form, his perfect toned thighs, broad muscular chest and strong wide shoulders, admiring his strongly corded neck as he tipped his head back and emitted a guttural moan as he pleasured himself.  His Arthur was a God.

Merlin knew he wouldn’t last long; and he didn’t want to.  He heard Arthur chanting his name as he neared his own release; and Merlin began to pump himself furiously, his eyes never leaving the screen as he watched his  _soulmate_  writhing in front of him; so close yet so fucking far away. 

“Fucking hell Arthur -!” cried Merlin as he watched his lover bucking his hips as he pleasured himself; causing him to arch his own back as his body sought its climax. 

“Come for me Merlin,” demanded Arthur, breathing heavily.  “...need to see you...”

“Oh...gng...Arthur, I can’t -” Merlin somehow managed to keep his eyes open as his orgasm took him, his come coating the bed and the laptop in long ribbons of milky white; his gaze fixed to the screen, on Arthur’s eyes, darkened orbs of blue thunder as he succumbed with Merlin’s name on his lips before collapsing back onto his bed.

Merlin did the same, his elbows no longer willing to hold him as his breathing slowed.  He stayed there for a few minutes until he felt able to sit up again and laughed at Arthur’s still prone stature.  “Arthur?”

“Nnnng.  What?” he grumped and stayed put.

“How does that fit into the no sex clause?”  Merlin’s grin was as wide as his face as he began to smell victory, and he hadn’t even been the one to suggest what had just happened.

Arthur sat up and shifted the computer so Merlin could only see his face and said firmly, “That was mutual masturbation, it doesn’t count.”

Merlin was pretty sure it  _did_  but decided not to press the issue; if Arthur was going to deny it then he would play along – after all, he wouldn’t want to jeopardise future ‘mutual wanking’. 

“Mmm, OK,” he agreed as a wave of tiredness washed over him; it was getting late and the post wank lethargy was starting to claim him.  “Gonna go to sleep now.”

“Alright,” Arthur’s smile fell.  “Goodnight.  Love you.”

“’Night Arthur.”  Merlin winked into the camera and said, “See you at school tomorrow.”

*

The feed cut and Arthur flung himself back onto the bed again.  Merlin’s last words were meant as a joke but Arthur couldn’t laugh.  He wanted to be with Merlin and nothing was going to come in the way of that now; but this situation was grave and they were walking on a very thin tightrope. 

He slammed his laptop shut and padded to the en suite shower in the humungous bedroom he was now renting at Lance’s and argued with himself that what had just happened with Merlin didn’t count as breaking the no sex rule. 

If he was succumbing to  _that_  less than 24 hours after making the rule he didn’t feel that hopeful he could last until December.  He’d definitely sold his soul to the devil; he only hoped that payment wouldn’t be required in the near future.   
  
*


	9. For Now

“I feel like a naughty teenager coming here like this,” laughed Arthur as Merlin opened his front door to him and he slipped quickly inside, throwing his rucksack on a nearby chair and sweeping Merlin into his arms.

Thank fuck it was Friday night.  Merlin would barely have been able to function much longer; he wanted... _needed_  Arthur like an addict needs a fix.  It shouldn’t be like this, having to hide and sneak around, and for  _what_?  He hadn’t had a moment alone with Arthur all week; there was one obstacle after the other to jump over just for a glance of his drug of choice.  It was as though something or someone was plotting against him, trying to keep him away from Arthur. 

Luckily, one thing was finally working Merlin’s favour, and he was going to grab the opportunity with both hands.  His Mum had gone to the spa for the weekend with Morgause, and Gaius had left for the weekend to visit an old friend in Exeter.  Merlin had the place to himself.  Fortune really was shining on him; uninterrupted time with Arthur...

“I missed you,” sighed Arthur into Merlin’s hair as his arms slid around Merlin’s slender waist and inched under his t-shirt to pull him closer.

 _Obstacle number one_ : Morgana, Arthur’s step sister, had spent all week sitting in on Arthur’s classes as part of some kind of internal audit, thus lingering after class so Merlin couldn’t get Arthur alone...thus scuppering his plans to wear down Arthur’s resolve _.  For now_.

“Missed you too,” Merlin hooked his legs around Arthur’s waist and let his lover guide him back against the worktop and set him down before capturing his mouth in a hungry kiss.  This was good; this was a perfect start... 

 _Obstacle_   _number two_ : Lance.  The insufferably good looking prick had been dropping Arthur into work in the morning and had picked him up again more than once...not to forget Arthur was  _living_  with him.  The git got to spend time with  _his_  boyfriend.  What if Arthur was being worn down by the omnipresence of the man?  Arthur may have told him that he loved him, but what did love even  _mean_  to Arthur?  Merlin didn’t know because  _they hadn’t spent any time together_. 

Merlin tightened his legs around Arthur’s waist and ground against him, letting him know how much he wanted him, showing him that  _he_  was his lover...not Lance.  “God Merlin,” groaned Arthur against Merlin’s lips, his tongue exploring Merlin’s mouth as though they had been apart for months not days.  “Where’d you learn to kiss like this?” he pulled back and rested his forehead against Merlin’s, breathing heavily.

 _Obstacle number three_ : Mordred.  Merlin’s ex had taken to stalking him everywhere, waiting for him after classes, trying to hold his hand, walking home with him...  Merlin had managed to tell him today that he only ever wanted to be friends and Mordred had pretended that he knew that all along and that he was fine about it: Merlin knew he was lying but didn’t call him on it.

“Doesn’t matter...never going to be kissing anyone but you from now on.”  Merlin carded his hand into Arthur’s thick blond locks and pulled him back in to mesh their lips together again, running his tongue over Arthur’s lower lip, holding back a grin, tasting him and loving that Arthur tasted of cherry chocolate...Merlin had managed to sneak a bar of Arthur’s favourite Lindt into his desk drawer earlier that day.

 _Obstacle_   _number four_ : technology.  Merlin’s laptop had gone kaput.  Well, truthfully, his magic had gone a little crazy on Monday evening when he’d been picturing Lance and Arthur having a cosy dinner for two and all the electric in the house had gone off and after that the laptop wouldn’t come back on again...so no more mutual wanking...for now.  Merlin had to make do with text messages, which were the least satisfying form of contact with someone you want and need and the odd quick phone call...he never had any credit and Arthur hardly had any signal at Lance’s...so even the texts were not getting through instantaneously. 

It was so good to touch Arthur.  Those few days apart were a few days too many.  Merlin’s nimble fingers began to make light work of Arthur’s shirt buttons, pushing the offending item over his shoulders so Arthur could shrug it to the floor allow Merlin access to his glorious smooth shoulders and the perfect toned chest and stomach...how on earth had he got so lucky that someone so incredibly  _flawless_  like Arthur wanted to be with him, someone so scrawny and pale?

 _Obstacle number five_ : lack of transport for both Merlin and Arthur, hence Lance playing chauffeur to Arthur.  Merlin had an old mini, a gift from his Grandpa, but he had yet to start his driving lessons due to lack of funds and it would be another couple of weeks until Arthur could ride his bike again.

“We’re trapped here all weekend,” Merlin managed as he nibbled Arthur’s neck and ran the pads of his thumbs over his newly exposed nipples.  “ _Alone_.”  Arthur stilled Merlin’s questing hands with his own, leaning back slightly to look into his eyes.  Merlin felt a coil of satisfaction at the arousal he saw reflected back at him in those blue globes.

 _Obstacle number six_ : Merlin’s magic.  From fucking up his laptop to being responsible for the constant drizzling rain the last few days, he was struggling to rein it in.  The only time it was under control was when he was with Arthur, only  _then_ did it seem to settle down like a cat in front of a fire and purr contentedly.

“I meant what I said Merlin, no sex,” Arthur gently unhooked Merlin’s legs from his waist and stepped back, picking his shirt up from the floor and shrugging it back on.  He kissed Merlin’s forehead and held out his hand to help Merlin down from the counter. 

Merlin ignored the hand, frustration coursing through him.  People in love had sex.  Why did he and Arthur have to be any different?  He jumped down off the counter without assistance. “Shall we order a take-away for dinner?” he said quickly, trying to mask his disappointment. The contented cat got up from the fireside and stalked sulkily to the door; his need to touch Arthur briefly sated before he was deprived again.

“Merlin,” Arthur ignored Merlin’s question about dinner.  “ _I need to try_.”

Arthur was here, in his house, standing before him all dishevelled from Merlin’s attentions and so fucking beautiful...how could he stay mad with him?  Merlin didn’t want to be shallow and be all about the sex, because this relationship  _was_  so much more than that...but he was 17 years old, he was  _supposed_  to be horny!  Abstaining from sex was clearly Arthur’s way of proving something to himself about this relationship.  For the first time Merlin began to truly appreciate what this must be like for Arthur.  He sighed and nodded, “I know.”

That didn’t mean he wouldn’t be trying again; let Arthur have this victory, Merlin intended to win the war.

*

This was so much harder than Arthur had ever anticipated, and yes, the pun was intentional. Just being close to Merlin made Arthur hard most of the time; the classes he taught with Merlin present were unadulterated hell.  How was a sane man meant to  _teach_  when those big blue kohl rimmed eyes were upon him?  He’d wanted to throw everyone else from the room and take Merlin over the desk.  The week had been made worse by the fact that Morgana was his shadow for the week; surely she must have noticed how he changed when he was teaching year 13?  By today’s class he could barely function; thank heaven for his suit and its ability to cover the excitement certain parts of his anatomy were displaying.

How pathetic!  He’d only been over the threshold for thirty seconds and he’d already lifted Merlin onto the kitchen counter, and the thoughts running through his mind did not have anything whatsoever to do with cooking!

He knew he would never last until December.  He was close to giving in already.  Merlin really only had to look at him and Arthur was lost.  When had he become such a...such a bloody – what?  Fool?  Pushover? 

He was pleased when Merlin seemed to acquiesce to Arthur’s attempts at calling a halt to the intimacy...for now at least.

What he wanted more than anything else right now was to spend a quiet cosy evening with Merlin, talking, getting to know one another better...being a normal couple and not a student and teacher breaking the rules.  He needed some kind of normalcy more than anything tonight.

They ordered a delivery of Chinese food and ate at the kitchen table, talking comfortably about their week.  Arthur admitted to he was missing his own home, living at Lance’s had only served to remind him what he had left behind.  He told Merlin about his childhood, how Uther had treated him as a mini version of himself; tutoring him to become someone ‘important’ in business as he was, and how it had taken him until his early twenties to break away and find what he really wanted to do...only Morgana was privy to this version of his life until now.

“Oh yeah...” teased Merlin as they settled on the sofa after dinner, Arthur wanting to put his arm around Merlin and pull him close but felt restricted by his earlier retraction of contact. Merlin had no such qualms, waiting for Arthur to take his seat he lay down with his head resting on Arthur’s lap.  “...when  _were_  you going to tell me your Dad is Uther Pendragon?”

Arthur looked down in surprise at Merlin who was grinning up at him with a raised eyebrow, “I thought you already knew?”  He remembered asking him if he knew who he was when they first met and Merlin had said yes.

“No.  I mean I do now, Gwen told us the other day.”  Merlin bit his lip and looked guilty as he confessed, “I’d never heard of him until then – sorry.”

Unable to doubt Merlin’s words Arthur felt a weight lift off him.  That teeny niggle at the back of his mind about people only wanting him for his family name abated.  That was past, and Merlin clearly didn’t care who his father was and what that might mean for them in the future.

He laughed in relief and found his hands in Merlin’s hair, threading through the soft raven locks in wonder at its softness.  “What do you know about him now?”

“He’s Über rich.  Über Uther!” he giggled at his own joke.  “TV star on a programme where people vie to better each other for his approval and a job working for him...  I’ve never seen it so -”

“Neither have I so you’re not alone,” Arthur said sadly.  It kind of hurt to watch his father on TV so he never did.  “I haven’t spoken to him in years.”

“Oh.  Do you want to talk about it?”

Arthur told Merlin all about his broken engagement, his father’s threats and his own severance of contact.  “He’s tried to get in touch over the years but I haven’t responded,” sighed Arthur, feeling exhausted once it was all off his chest.  “He doesn’t even know I’m gay yet.  That would be the next  _disappointment_  for him.  Morgana sees him sometimes and has tried to persuade me to forgive him, but I can’t.  He treated me like a commodity to be traded on the open market.”

Merlin wriggled to a sitting position and hugged Arthur.  “I’m sorry.”

Arthur melted into him, enjoying the comfort of his boyfriend’s embrace.  Even then arousal coursed through him.  His resolve was doomed.

*

Merlin wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or offended at Arthur’s ability to resist him.  They had slept two nights in Merlin’s bed, waking up wrapped in each other’s arms and Merlin was behaving himself...for now.  He was quietly proud the other man had such resolve to the extent that Merlin was resisting his own instincts to  _push_  and get what he wanted; for today he wanted what Arthur wanted...plus just being close to him kept his magic quiet, and that was reward in itself. 

So, that was how their weekend was; cosy, comfortable, intimate without being physical...not a single moment spent apart other than when nature called.  Merlin was dreading Monday, back to school, back to being apart.  Back to being out of control.  With no other convenient weekends with an empty house to look forward to, Merlin felt the despair creeping under his skin; he knew they would find time to spend time together, but not like this.  This was the last time they could be like this for a long time.

Hunith was due back from the spa early Sunday afternoon, so with the weather having cleared up and with view to spending as much of the day together as possible, they decided it was safe enough to risk a walk to Watersmeet, something that could easily be achieved from their current location without the need for transport. 

They left the hotel grounds separately, meeting up a few hundred yards up along the path once the last few houses had been left behind.  The rules were simple: no holding hands, no contact whatsoever...if they met anyone they knew they would claim they had just bumped into each other.  It was a feasible excuse...and necessary. 

It was no longer raining, but the weather was overcast and there was a chill in the air. Unusually for the weather in the area lately, the current clime was had no relation whatsoever to Merlin’s mood, the whole country was suffering from this late September chill. 

The trees were starting to turn and some leaves were already falling, autumn was coming.  As they walked in mostly companionable silence for the first half an hour they both drank in the beauty of their surroundings; the fast flowing narrow river as it gushed over huge boulders and rocks as it rushed towards the sea, the surrounding forest that protected them from the sunlight and the whooshing sound of the water, the birds in the trees, the smell of the damp earth...it was heaven.  Even though Merlin had walked this route many times and seen the views in all weathers, he had never seen it with  _Arthur_ , and he spent as much time watching Arthur as he enjoyed the scenery as he did enjoying it himself. 

A few people passed by from the opposite direction, no one they knew, and Merlin’s hand was twitching to take Arthur’s.  He was pleased when they finally arrived at the visitor’s centre, an old hunting lodge set next to the spot where two rivers met.  Merlin had worked there in the summer, in the cafe.  He glanced at Arthur.  “Hungry?”  Due to the cooling weather only the diehard walkers would be out today. 

Arthur glanced at the looming building and shook his head, “We can’t be seen sitting about having lunch together,” he sighed.  He fished in his pocket and came out with a £20 note and offered it to Merlin.  “How about you go in and get a sandwich and a drink and we eat later?”

Merlin shook his head, “You better do the shopping.  If I go in I’ll never escape Kathy; I’ll be hugged to death.”  Kathy was the cafe manager who thought Merlin was unbelievably cute and who mothered him to within an inch of his life.  “There’s a bench a couple of hundred yards up there, round the bend, I’ll wait for you there.”  He gestured upstream.

Arthur nodded and Merlin couldn’t fail to miss the way his arms twitched as he tried to control himself from embracing Merlin.  Merlin smirked at Arthur’s departing figure as he headed to the cafe, mmm; his arse looked good in those jeans... _damn_!   _Arthur’s_  resolve was still intact even if  _his_  wasn’t –  _for now_  – but Merlin knew it wouldn’t take much to break him.  Gods, he was looking forward to breaking him!

He wandered slowly upriver to the bench he was to meet Arthur at and settled down to wait; the service in the cafe was painfully slow even when it was quiet so he didn’t Arthur to reappear too soon.  He began to daydream about how he was going to break his boyfriend’s resolve and didn’t hear approaching footsteps behind him.

“Hello.  It’s Merlin isn’t it?”

Merlin jumped several inches off the bench at the sound of the unfamiliar voice behind him. He stood up and turned around to see the current bane of his life standing before him. Fucking  _Lance_.  The dark haired man was looking mouth-wateringly sexy in his ranger’s uniform, windswept with sweat sheened tanned skin...bloody wanker.  Merlin narrowed his eyes at the intruder.

Lance looked confused at Merlin’s lack of answer and hesitantly prompted, “Erm...  We met at the pub the other week.  You’re in Ar-Mr Pendragon’s class?”

Merlin’s heart plummeted as reality set in.  Fuck fuck fuck.  Arthur would walking round that corner any moment now with their lunch.  How the hell would they get out of this?

*


	10. Romeo and Juliet

Arthur was lost in his own thoughts as he left the cafe ambled contentedly along the footpath towards Merlin’s rendezvous point.  It had been the perfect weekend; well almost perfect. This no sex business was a real strain; he only had to  _think_  of Merlin and there would be a stirring in his groin, so spending the entire weekend together, wrapped together on the sofa or in bed was driving him to distraction and wearing his patience very thin.

Half of him was proud that he had managed to control himself around Merlin; the other half knew he was doomed to fail...and he knew it would be soon.  He would undoubtedly go home later and wank himself raw.  He’d fixed Merlin’s laptop...maybe they could have some fun that way this evening?  It wouldn’t be enough though, just a temporary fix for a  _huge_  problem, one that was making itself known even now.

So concerned was he with thinking nasty things to tamp down his arousal he didn’t see Lance until it was too late.  He inwardly groaned in annoyance that his friend was intruding on his afternoon with Merlin before realising that  _Lance was talking to Merlin_.  Lance, friend of Morgana –  _the fucking headmistress_  - and Edwin, was making conversation with  _his_  seventeen year old pupil/boyfriend who was waiting for Arthur to bring him lunch, on a  _Sunday_  and  _this wasn’t a field trip._

It was too late to turn back round; Lance was waving at him with a huge grin.  This could be it, he thought, the cat could be out of the bag.    He waved back at Lance and casually secreted the lunch he had just bought into his backpack as he walked, hoping that Lance wouldn’t think anything of that.  At least the shock had deflated his cock.

“Arthur!” greeted Lance as he entered the small riverside glade; he had sat himself on the bench beside Merlin and the two of them looked as though they had known each other for years.  Lance flicked a warm glance at Merlin, “Look who I found?  Merlin here was just telling me -”

The sudden surge of jealousy that hit Arthur was fierce and unexpected.  Lance was sitting too close to Merlin for his liking, and now they were sitting cosily and  _conversing_..?  It didn’t help that Lance was gorgeous, single and totally gay. 

The emotion must have shown in on his face as Lance faltered and understanding filled his brown eyes.   “ _Oh_.  I see now,” he said softly. His alert gaze ping ponged between Arthur and Merlin.  Arthur was turning an unflattering shade of red as his fists bunched at his sides, and Merlin was worrying his lower lip, watching Arthur with concern.  “Merlin’s the  _someone_.”  The simple statement condemned Arthur to hell for the umpteenth time since he had met Merlin.

“So what you going to do now?” growled Arthur, not bothering to deny it, still lost in a mist of jealousy.  There was no point, he hated lying, and this thing with Merlin was the biggest whopper ever, Lance had sussed them out...and if Lance knew Merlin was Arthur’s then he would back the fuck off.

Lance coloured.  “What do you mean ‘what am I going to do now’?” he snapped defensively. He looked at Merlin again and was rewarded with a nervous smile and a shrug which only seemed to add fuel to the fire raging within Arthur.

“I’m  _shagging_  one of my students,” he said crudely.  “Don’t you want to report me?”

Lance and Merlin both winced.  Merlin got to his feet and took Arthur’s hand, lacing their fingers together, stroking his arm with his other hand as Lance’s watchful eyes following the movement closely.  “Arthur calm down,” he said gently into the blond’s ear.  At Merlin’s touch Arthur relaxed and began to feel a little foolish at the strength of his reaction. 

“Do you want me to report you Arthur?” Lance sighed, standing up so he was on a level with angry his lodger.  Arthur shook his head.  “I didn’t think so.  Arthur, I’m your  _friend_.  Why don’t you both tell me, er, in non porno terms what’s going on with you both?”

“We met before I started at the school,” said Arthur without hesitation, thinking perhaps that would make him look less culpable.  “When I found out, it was too late.”  He didn’t elaborate; he didn’t think there was any need to mention that Merlin had known he was a teacher, or that they’d had sex within two hours of meeting...or that Merlin was the only person outside of family he ever felt anything more than mild affection for.

There was an uncomfortable silence.  Lance nervously scratched the back of this neck.  “What if it hadn’t been me you bumped into today?  What if one of the teachers from the Foundation was out for a walk or one of the pupils?  You’re taking a big risk.”

Lance was right, they  _had_  been reckless.  “Does this mean that as it  _is_  you we are...safe?”

“I’ll be honest.  I  _don’t_  like this because of my friendship with your sister.   _However_ , it would be hypocritical of me to condemn you...considering how I lost my, er, virginity to a Chemistry teacher named Dave when I was fifteen.”  It was Lance’s turn to display the unflattering red flush on his cheeks.

Merlin sniggered and grinned his trademark toothy grin at Lance.  Arthur tightened his grip on Merlin’s hand, the earlier jealousy at their seemingly friendly relationship not having simmered down completely. 

“You needn’t get all possessive Arthur,” Lance observed.  “Merlin’s not  _my_  type.”

“Lance isn’t  _mine_  either Arthur,” offered Merlin.  “I prefer blue eyed blonds.”  Arthur relaxed and planted a kiss on Merlin’s inviting pink lips, suddenly wishing they were alone. 

“How about I give you both a lift home – come back to ours for a cuppa Merlin?” offered Lance genially, and Arthur’s eyes narrowed.

“You won’t mind Merlin coming round to the house then?”  Arthur let go of Merlin’s hand and slid his arm around him, pulling him as close as possible, his presence soothed him, the jealousy abating.

“Not at all, but...if Morgana ever finds you out, I’m pleading the fifth; I don’t want to be on the receiving end of that particular wrath!”  He tipped his head in the direction of the cafe car park.  “Come on, the Land Rover’s over there.”

“You want to come back?” Arthur asked Merlin, hoping he would say yes, wanting nothing more than to curl up with his boyfriend somewhere that he didn’t have to worry about being caught out.  Lance was shaping up to be a very good friend indeed.

“’Kay,” agreed Merlin, and as Lance smiled at them both and led the way to the car, Merlin’s hand slid down and cupped Arthur’s arse, causing him to jump and for all the blood to rush to his cock.  His resolve was almost in tatters, and he didn’t even care.

*

Merlin’s jealousy and dislike of Lance didn’t abate instantly, he was still suspicious that he was going to try to use his proximity and utter hunkyness to lure Arthur into his own arms, but that did fade somewhat when he so readily agreed that Merlin was welcome at his house anytime, and that he genuinely seemed to be ‘a thoroughly nice chap’.  Merlin was normally suspicious when people were unusually nice. 

Unfortunately, yesterday’s visit to Lance and Arthur’s pad had not borne any fruit, as in Merlin’s sexual frustration was still off the chart.  Lance had made them a pot of tea, then proceeded to grill the pair of them about their relationship, and once he seemed satisfied that both were serious about the other he had suggested they all watch a film together, something which Arthur had leapt at, and Merlin knew it was a delaying tactic to avoid being alone with him...and he revelled in it – Arthur was so close to giving in Merlin could  _smell_  it.  Victory smelt bloody good. 

He had settled for snuggling on the sofa in Arthur’s arms whilst Lance curled up on the armchair, and snuggling with Arthur  _was_  bloody fantastic, but the sexual tension gave everything an unfulfilled edge.  Any hopes he had to getting Arthur alone afterwards were scuppered by a phone call from Hunith worried about his whereabouts as Lance insisted on dropping him home, admonishing him for his thoughtlessness towards his mother for not leaving a note.  Arthur had joined them on the trip, not wanting to leave Merlin alone with Lance again. 

Monday morning had dawned bright and sunny, much like Merlin’s mood but he saw nothing unusual there; the weather often matched his moods.  He was going to wear Arthur down, starting today; no more Mr Nice Guy.  Arthur was nearly there already...all Merlin would have to do would be to push the right buttons and Arthur would fold.  He knew it, Arthur knew it.  It _was_  going to happen.   _The sooner the better._   Merlin was unbearably horny.

English class was the last period of the day.  Merlin slumped down in his usual seat, deliberately not looking at Arthur.  He chatted with Will and Mordred until Arthur called the class to order and began to talk about Lord of the Rings or  _something_...Merlin wasn’t quite listening, his eyes closed and he rested his head on the desk as he enjoyed the timbre of Arthur’s voice...the content of the words was irrelevant. 

“Merlin Emrys!”  Pretending to be surprised Merlin sat up straight, glancing at the wall clock before turning his gaze defiantly to Arthur.

“Yes Mr Pendragon?” he drawled, drawing a titter from the class who loved drama.

“As you appear to be  _sleeping_  you won’t mind staying behind after class for your detention to catch up on what you’ve missed, will you?”  He raised an eyebrow at Merlin which to the rest of the class appeared to be a challenge, but to Merlin was an invitation.

“But Sir –” spat Merlin; in his mind he was playing the indignant detainee perfectly.

“No buts Merlin!” returned Arthur and turned turning back to the board to write some headers that he wanted the students to discuss groups of three.  Merlin made a performance out of pulling a face at Arthur behind his back for the benefit of the other students then took the opportunity to study his perfect arse, and decided that by the end of today he would have his legs wrapped firmly around it.  Arthur  _was_  going to give in; he was even helping Merlin along by  _telling_  him to stay after class rather than him having to hang around waiting nonchalantly for everyone to leave.

By the end of the period Merlin was rock hard just thinking about what he was planning for Arthur, so he remained at his desk as everyone filed out, Gwen and Freya shooting him envious glares, clearly wishing they could have an hour alone with their gorgeous blond English teacher. Will shot him a sympathetic look and whispered, “Hard luck mate.”

Arthur hovered impatiently by the door and as it closed behind the last student to leave, a glowering Mordred who flashed an oblivious Merlin a longing look as he exited, he locked the door and pocketing the key he walked back to his desk, his blue eyes never leaving Merlin’s.

“Come and sit over here,” he requested pleasantly, grabbing a chair from the front row and placing it next to his desk, sitting himself in his own chair.  Merlin grinned and did as he was told.

Arthur opened his desk drawer and pulled out an A4 notepad and a biro and slid it over the desk to Merlin.  “What’s this for?” asked Merlin with a puzzled frown.

“You will write ‘I must not fall asleep in Mr Pendragon’s class’ 200 times,” smirked Arthur, nudging the pad closer. 

Merlin snorted, “You’re not serious?”  Arthur shrugged, crossing his arms and casually resting a foot on his knee.  Merlin opened the desk drawer and threw the pad and pen back in again, stood up and hoiked himself up on the desk and slid over, rustling a pile of paperwork as he did so, and positioned himself right in front of Arthur.

“You’re being a very bad boy  _Merlin_ ,” Arthur berated with a smirk, and Merlin’s could feel his face lighting up like bonfire night...this was going well.  “How do  _you_  think I should punish you for sleeping in class?”

Merlin didn’t answer; instead he slightly parted his thighs and leant back on his palms, his pink tongue snaking out to lick his lower lip.  Arthur groaned, stood up and placing his hands on Merlin’s knees, made room for himself in between.  Gently rubbing Merlin’s hipbones he leant in, ghosted his lips over Merlin’s, nibbled a trail to his ear and whispered, “No sex  _until December_.”

Merlin was ready for this tactic.  In the same way he’d known Arthur would give him a detention when he ‘fell asleep’ during class he knew that Arthur would go so far, tease him a bit, before spouting the no sex rule.  Arthur rather enjoyed playing him up, even when it resulted in greater frustration for both of them.  He wrapped his legs around Arthur before he had chance to step back, pulling Arthur in closer, locking his feet around his arse so that he couldn’t escape.

“Hey!  Not fair,” complained Arthur pushing back against his long limbed prison.

“Giving me detention then not following through with my punishment is unfair  _Mr Pendragon_.” It was Merlin’s turn to chase kisses along Arthur’s neck, fingers deftly unbuttoning the top few buttons of Arthur’s shirt and sliding his thumbs along his collarbone, inching lower and circling his nipples.  “I want my punishment.”

“ _Merlin_ ,” groaned Arthur, his hands on Merlin’s shoulders, half-heartedly pushing him back. “We have to  _wait_.”

“No, I can’t wait.  I  _need_  you Arthur.   _Please_.”  Surely Arthur couldn’t say no now?  Merlin angled lifted his legs a fraction and ground his erection against Arthur’s very obvious arousal; tilting his head he found Arthur’s mouth as it began to form another token protest and ran the tip of his tongue over the lower lip.  “Don’t you want to have me Arthur, right here on the desk?”   _Please say yes, otherwise there could be a magical explosion any moment now..._

*

That was it, that was the moment that Arthur’s pathetic resolve got up and left the building. How long had that lasted?  One week?  A brief shiver of shame at his own weakness lingered resentfully before being banished by the overwhelming sensation that was 100% Merlin. Gods, if he was struck by lightning right this moment then he would be dying a happy man.  A little voice in his head, the sensible voice of reason was whispering that shagging in the classroom was risky and pointless now that Merlin was welcome at Lance’s...but Merlin’s breathy sighs, the friction of their cocks, the feel of those raspberry lips pressing against his, the tongue pressing for entry between his own lips and the legs wrapped tightly around his waist were all too much to ignore.  Merlin had a way of getting under his skin like no other ever had before, and Arthur found this both utterly intoxicating and scary at the same time; the combination was a powerful aphrodisiac. 

Merlin had gained entry to Arthur’s mouth and was kissing him as though the world was about to end, the soft pressure of the tongue ring against his own tongue sent electric shocks directly to his cock.  Arthur pulled back, catching his breath enough to quietly command Merlin, “ _Strip_.”

Merlin’s head shot back, his hazed blue eyes searching Arthur’s for any sign that Arthur was bluffing and using the instruction to get Merlin to release his grip over Arthur’s arse.

“I  _said_  strip,” rasped Arthur.  Whatever Merlin saw reflected back in his eyes must have satisfied his doubts because he unhooked his legs from Arthur’s waist and slid his legs to the floor, all the while keeping eye contact as he gently pushed Arthur back to give himself room to shrug off his blazer.  In his peripheral, Arthur saw Merlin toe off his shoes and socks before reaching for his zipper and shimmying out of his trousers and boxers in one quick wiggle. When those long fingers went higher and grasped the blue and red school tie Arthur stilled the movement with his good hand, “Shirt off.  Leave the tie.”

“Yes  _Sir_.”  Merlin loosened the tie and undid his shirt slowly before sliding it to the floor. Arthur groaned at the sight before him; long pale limbs, lean chest, smooth kissable neck with that fucking  _tie_...and that  _magnificent_  cock that was straining against Merlin’s flat stomach, glistening with promise.

Arthur dropped to his knees and tracing his hands along the back of Merlin’s thighs, gripped his bum to pull him forward, licking a line along the length of his cock and closing his lips around the leaking head, his insides twisting with lust at the taste of the bitter precome.

“Mmmm,” whimpered Merlin, his lashes fanning against his flushed cheeks as his eyes fell shut, his hands threading into Arthur’s hair.  Arthur, unable to tear his eyes from Merlin’s face took his entire length into his mouth.

Arthur sucked hard as he pulled back and drew his tongue over the ridge beneath the tip, his own cock hardening even further when he heard the primitive groans from Merlin as his hands clenched painfully in Arthur's hair. 

Teasing the head with gentle strokes of his tongue he removed his hands off Merlin’s arse and fumbled in his pocket for the small tin he had taken to carrying everywhere since their first meeting.  He shucked his jacket to the floor, fumbled with his own trousers, struggling one handed with the top button and lowering the zip. 

Sitting back on his heels he ceased his ministrations to Merlin’s cock and ignoring Merlin’s protests he got to his feet, knees wobbling and weak with his arousal.  Merlin angled over the desk, legs parted, head thrown back, raven hair mussed up, white knuckled as he now gripped the side of the desk, with his wide navy eyes watching Arthur in anticipation...Arthur banked the image for future wank material.

Grinning wickedly Arthur licked his lips, knowing he had to show  _some_  patience before he could fuck Merlin senseless, but he couldn’t wait long, not when he was such a picture of debauchery, all laid out for Arthur to make his.

He leant in, pushing his suit trousers over his buttocks and pressing his arousal to Merlin’s, his wet tongue parting Merlin’s lips as he allowed Merlin to taste his own precome.  He could feel Merlin’s heart pounding its way out of his chest beneath the tie, a reflection of his own breathlessness.

“Turn around,” directed Arthur, stepping back to allow room to manoeuvre. 

“Yes sir.”  Merlin licked his lips and span round, shooting a glance back at Arthur as if waiting for instruction. 

“Place your elbows on the desk.”  Merlin did as Arthur commanded, presenting his arse to Arthur with a cheeky wiggle.  Arthur tipped forward, running his hands over the soft planes of the delectable bottom before him he parted the cheeks and circled Merlin’s pink hole with his tongue, just once, designed to tease.

“Fuuuuck!”  Merlin strained back trying to reconnect with the hot wet sensation that had just assaulted him and Arthur, bemoaning the splint on his hand, prised the lid off the little tin and discarded it onto the pile of clothes scattering the floor around them.  Liberally he coated his fingers in the jelly and ghosted his forefinger around Merlin’s questing entrance a few times before guiding it slowly inside, pausing for a few seconds when Merlin cried, “Oh  _God_!”

“Don’t call me that, call me  _Sir_.”

“Ha, haaaaaaaaa-mnnng!” Arthur pushed his finger in knuckle deep and curled it experimentally, hitting the right spot instantly if Merlin’s reaction was anything to go by. “More Arthur, now!”

Arthur withdrew the finger, “Tsk, tsk, I  _said_  call me Sir,” he chastised, teasing Merlin’s hole with the finger.

“More Sir – please!” wailed Merlin.

“That’s better.”  This time Arthur impaled Merlin with his fore and middle fingers, stretching him as he sought the spot that would cause Merlin to come undone.

“I want it Sir!  Now please.”  Merlin thrust back onto Arthur’s hand.  “I’m ready.”

“Merlin -”

“ _Now!_ ”

Arthur withdrew his fingers and gripped his erection, tracing the tip down the crevice of Merlin’s arse, pausing at the waiting entrance and circling it again with his thumb.  Merlin was whimpering wantonly, and Arthur vaguely recalled that this was supposed to be  _punishment_ and Merlin appeared to be enjoying it way too much...

He nudged his cock into the tight sheath that was Merlin’s arse very slowly. Arthur steadied Merlin’s attempts to be filled at his own pace with his splinted hand.  “Patience,” he teased to an ardent groan from Merlin.

Once he was fully sheathed he paused in order to gain some control, he wanted this to be good for both of them, and coming too soon would sabotage that goal.

“ _Sir!_ ”  Merlin wiggled again.

Arthur withdrew halfway and slammed back in again, his hands settling comfortably on Merlin’s jutting hipbones as he leaned forward and planted tiny kisses along Merlin’s spine. 

“Yessss,” hissed Merlin.  Arthur set a slow pace, ploughing Merlin’s arse leisurely, knowing this would garner complaints from his eager lover who preferred it fast and hard. 

Arthur looked down at the sight of his own cock plundering the pale flesh beneath his own tanned hands and bit his lip to keep the words that wanted to escape to himself.  Instead he curled his body over Merlin’s, his good hand reaching along Merlin’s sweat slicked stomach until he met the silky material of the school tie.  Twisting it around his fist he brought it round so that it was hanging over Merlin’s right shoulder; the sight of it heightened his arousal.  Oh God, he was fucking his student, fucking  _Merlin_ , over his desk in a locked classroom.  This was unbearably hot...

As Arthur had expected, Merlin soon complained, “Fuck me harder,” he gritted out between his teeth.

“If you kiss me first with that filthy mouth,” replied Arthur, surprised with himself at his ability to string a coherent sentence together at this juncture. 

Arthur pulled Merlin up from his elbows, pulling him flush against his bulk, and Merlin twisted his head to allow Arthur access to his mouth, the rhythm of their duelling tongues matching that of Arthur’s cock as it moved inside of Merlin.

“Get up on the desk.”  Arthur broke the kiss, withdrawing his member at the same time and almost shoving Merlin onto the desk, sweeping off a pile of unmarked essays that found themselves in the way.  Merlin didn’t demur, kneeling on all fours on the desk, his head tilted expectantly at Arthur who nudged him forward a few inches and joined him.

Without preamble he plunged his cock back inside Merlin, stepping up the pace to meet Merlin’s demands of ‘faster faster’, his good hand caressing Merlin’s navel before taking grip of his bobbing cock and firmly stroking it hard.  Merlin’s knees nearly buckled. 

Unable to hold back any longer, his impending orgasm taking precedent over his control on his vocal chords, Arthur began to mutter and groan in earnest, expletives escaping his lips as he pounded relentlessly into the boy beneath him.  “Oh fuck Merlin.  Fuck.  I. Can’t.  Stop. Gonna -” His release exploded inside Merlin’s tightness, stars spinning before his eyes as he rode out the orgasm, still pumping Merlin’s cock until he heard a guttural moan and felt the hot come coat his hand as Merlin joined him in the star gazing.

Arthur laid his cheek on Merlin’s bony back and struggled to regain his breath.  Reluctantly, because his knees were hurting now that sensation returned to other parts of his anatomy, he withdrew and stepped down from the desk with difficulty as his trousers were around his thighs, and he realised he was still fully dressed.

Merlin flopped out starfish style on the desk with an satisfied sigh.  “Arthur?”

Tucking himself away and doing up his trousers Arthur smiled and tickled Merlin’s foot. “What?”

“I think I just came all over Valiant’s Romeo and Juliet essay.”

*

 


	11. 'A friend'

“Arthur, you’re sulking.”

“No, I’m not, I’m  _thinking_ ,” pouted Arthur, avoiding Lance’s eye and throwing himself noisily into an armchair.  He’d just got back from dropping Merlin back at the hotel in time for him to have Sunday lunch with his mother and uncle.

“You’re  _thinking_  sulky thoughts though, right?”

“Who asked  _you_  anyway? _”_  growled Arthur, folding his arms huffily. 

“Sometimes I wonder who the teenager is in your relationship,” laughed Lance.  “Come on, what’s up?”  He avoided sitting directly beside his simmering friend and perched instead on the arm of the sofa, watching him with a raised eyebrow.

Arthur continued to stare at an invisible point in the distance, ignoring Lance completely.

“Arthur?” Lance persisted.

“Merlin’s going to visit his grandfather at half term,” muttered Arthur.  “In  _Arizona_.”  Half term was just under two weeks away now, and Merlin had only dropped the bombshell an hour ago, even though the trip had been booked since before June.

“In that case  _I’m_  thinking of sulking too.  Arizona has some great geology, I’d love to -”

“Shut up Lance!”  Arthur gave Lance his full attention then, glaring at him through narrow eyes.  “He’ll be gone for  _nine days_!”

“Ooh, nine days.  How  _will_  you cope?” 

Arthur missed the sarcasm completely, his current mood having switched off his filters.  “I don’t know.  I miss him when I don’t see him for  _one day_ ,” he felt thoroughly dejected.  He had officially met Merlin 52 days ago.  Just over 7 weeks.  He was quite aware that it was ridiculous that he even knew this.  Teenage girls kept count of dates like this...not thirty year old blokes.  Since that weekend they’d spent together when Lance had found them out, only one day had passed when they hadn’t spent some time together, even it if that time was sometimes just a stolen half an hour at lunch break in Merlin’s private office.  Normally Merlin would come over to Lance’s two evenings a week - something made easier by Arthur recovering use of his hand and thus the use of his motorbike – and he would stay over Friday and Saturday nights.   Now, faced with a Merlin-less week, Arthur did not like it one little bit.

“Geez Arthur, you’ve got it even worse than I thought,” sighed Lance, sobering slightly at the sincerity in Arthur’s voice.  “It’s only just over a week.  It’s not like he’s going clubbing in Ibiza with all his mates, shagging other blokes...he’ll be with his Grandfather!”

“I was going to invite him home with me,” Arthur hung his head.  “A  _whole week_  alone, without having to worry about going outside and being seen by people we know.”  He had planned it all in his head; long walks around his favourite trails, bike rides into the mountains.

“There’s plenty of time for that Arthur, if you see a future with him then you’ve got forever.”

“What do you mean ‘if’?  Don’t you think we have?  Do you think he’ll go to university and dump me for a younger model?  Do -”  Oh God, now he was seeing visions of Merlin living in university dorms, with all these half naked young men walking round in towels, tempting Merlin away from him.

“Arthur!  Stop it.  Don’t jump on everything I say and make it a negative.  What’s  _wrong_  with you?” 

Arthur snapped out of his unpleasant daydream, “I don’t know...Merlin’s just been...he’s hiding something from me I think.  I can’t put my finger on it, there’s just  _something_  he’s not telling me.” He fixed his wide blue eyes on Lance, “What if he regrets  _us_?”

“That’s  _it_ ,” Lance got to his feet and rummaged in his coat pocket for his car keys.  “I’m not letting you sit here and fester all bloody afternoon, we’re going out!”  He marched over to Arthur and hauled him out of the chair.

“Hey!  It’s raining and I don’t want to -”

“Tough.  We’re going to the cinema in Ilfracombe, and we’re gonna see the first film to start. No arguments.”

Arthur pulled a face at Lance, but grabbed his jacket anyway and followed Lance outside to the Landrover.  “I’m not watching anything horror,” he said, shuddering at the thought as he climbed inside and belted up.

“OK, no horror.  Everything else is fair game,” Lance started the engine and reversed onto the empty lane.

Arthur folded his arms and looked out the window with a frown, his unseeing eyes missing the panoramic views over the Atlantic, his thoughts turning back to Merlin and what he could be hiding.   _Could_  he be having second thoughts about their relationship?  It certainly hadn’t been easy these last few weeks.  All the sneaking around was actually quite complicated to co-ordinate, and somewhat tiring.  There hadn’t been any more sex in the classroom, not after the incident with Valiant’s essay and the fact that bloody Mordred had been waiting by the school gate for Merlin to finish his detention– that could so easily have been him waiting outside the classroom instead...they hadn’t exactly been  _quiet_.  OK, so maybe if Merlin’s office walls could talk then it might make for interesting listening...but they were  _trying_  to be careful.  Maybe Merlin had decided it was too much like hard work and was thinking of a way to break it to him?  After all, Arthur was always telling Merlin he loved him...Merlin had yet to say it back.  Oh God, what if...

“...Arthur!”  Jumping at the sound of his name, Arthur dragged his head out of its trip down negativity lane to throw Lance a confused look, before realising they had arrived in Ilfracombe.  It was a half hour drive, had he really been lost in thought the whole time? 

Lance had found a spot just down the road from the cinema.  The two men locked up the car and walked in companionable silence to the tiny cinema.  Arthur glanced up at the facade as they walked into the entrance and spluttered.

“You  _git_  Lance!”

“What?”  Lance shot Arthur a confused look.

Arthur pointed at the sign above the entrance that read  _Merlin Cinemas_  complete with a picture of a bearded Merlin in a pointy hat and star patterned robes.

Lance nearly collapsed from laughing at the indignant look on Arthur’s face, “I can see the resemblance.  Come  _on_.”  He grabbed a reluctant Arthur’s arm and dragged him inside.

*

“You don’t seem very excited about your trip Merlin,” observed Gaius between mouthfuls of roast chicken.  “When you first booked it you were over the moon, what’s changed?”

Merlin shrugged and stared forlornly at his dinner, poking a stray potato around the plate with his fork, his appetite had abandoned him, even his favourite veggie sausages tasted like cardboard.  The prospect of a week – no  _longer_  than a week – without Arthur was not something he could look forward to, even if he would be seeing his beloved Grandpa.  He’d been pretending the trip wasn’t imminent, thus he hadn’t told Arthur about it until today. 

“He probably doesn’t want to leave his girlfriend,” smiled Hunith fondly.  “Do we get to meet this mystery woman before the wedding?”

“Huh?” Merlin’s head shot up and he sent his Mum a bewildered look.  “What wedding? Wait...what girlfriend?”

“Merlin, you’re out every weekend, all weekend.  I had to pin you down and make you promise to join us for lunch today just to spend some time with you!  You’ve obviously met someone.”

“Er, I...”  Should he go along with the girlfriend theory, or be as honest as he could be without dragging Arthur into it? 

“It’s OK Merlin.  I don’t mind that you stay out at her place – I  _know_  you haven’t really been at Will’s! – I would have put a stop to it if I minded,” Hunith’s eyes misted over.  “Your father and I...”

Merlin squirmed, clearly his Mum had seen through his ‘staying at Will’s’ bullshit, and she was obviously fine with the girlfriend scenario.  What would she say to  _boyfriend_?  “I’m bisexual,” he blurted, biting his lips together to stop any further confessions from flying out.

Gaius almost choked on his broccoli.

“Oh, so it’s a  _boy_  then?” Hunith’s eyebrows shot into her hairline.

“Mmm-hmm,” nodded Merlin.  “He’s  _the one_  Mum, like Dad was for you.”  He watched his Mum’s face as she processed the information.  Gaius had recovered from the choking and was also watching Hunith for some kind of reaction.

Merlin couldn’t believe he’d just come out over Sunday dinner.  Saying he was bisexual...well, that was true, he did like girls as well, or rather, he  _had_  as now he could honestly say he would only ever want Arthur, so did that mean he was gay?  Did any of the labels actually matter? 

“This boy...does the  _magic_...er...call for him?”

Merlin nodded. 

“Oh my; no wonder you are reluctant to leave him when you go to America.  I couldn’t bear being apart from your father for more than a few hours...and I was on the other side of it...I didn’t have my own magic, but I could feel his and...”  Hunith hesitated as if trying to find the right words.  “...your magic is a lot more  _powerful_ than your father’s ever was.  Do you remember when you floated that car when you were five and -”

“Mum did Dad tell you about the magic straight away?”  Merlin wasn’t in the mood for a trip down memory lane just now.

“No, well – after a couple of weeks, yes.  His abilities were more parlour tricks.  Clever and fun, but not really the Jedi stuff like you’re capable of.  If I hadn’t given birth to you myself I’d think you were from Tattooine.”  Hunith had been the one to introduce Merlin into the Star Wars universe.

Merlin frowned.  A few weeks ago he would have argued this with his Mum.  The magical things he had done when he was a small child were distant blurred memories; but the stuff he had discovered he could do in recent weeks was starting to blow his mind.  Hence why this trip to see Grandpa was so necessary right now; if only it didn’t mean leaving Arthur.  What if the separation from Arthur meant he lost control of his magic on the aeroplane?   _He did not want to be parted from Arthur._

“Mum, what happened to you when Dad died...with the link between you I mean?”  They had never discussed this before.  He hadn’t even known about this soulmate stuff until he met Arthur.

Hunith sighed, “I won’t lie to you Merlin, it was hell on earth.  I was lucky, I had you and that helped  _a lot_ , but...”  She bit her lip and began to look guilty.  “It’s been seventeen years and I still don’t want anyone else.  I know Leon’s sweet on me, and he’s a nice man...but how can I when I had a  _soulmate_?  What if there is an afterlife and I’ve married someone else...the someone else will only ever be second best and -”  She stopped talking and shook her head.

“Mum, you OK?”

“I was babbling.”  She mustered a smile and patted Merlin’s hand.  “I think my point was that the love between your father and I was a once in a lifetime thing.”

“So when do we meet this boy?” asked Gaius.  “Does he go to the Foundation?”

Shit.  “It’s complicated,” said Merlin, thinking that was a bloody understatement and a half.  “I can’t out him...you’ll both just have to trust me, please?”  He should be feeling lucky.  Most parents, and elderly uncles for that matter, would probably be lecturing their seventeen year old for lying about their whereabouts, and for talking about their love interest being ‘the one’, probably saying things like ‘you’re too young to fall in love’ and ‘you’ve got your whole life ahead of you’.

“We do trust you Merlin.  We just wish you had better control over these, er, magical  _surges_ you’ve been getting.  The hotel is talking about bringing in some specialist electrical engineers to look at why the lights keep going out.”  Hunith fixed Merlin with a pointed glare.

Merlin summoned a little guilt.  He didn’t want the hotel spending a load of money on something that was his fault and that no electrician could fix.  It was just that on the days he hadn’t seen Arthur for very long, sometimes he had a blip...it was as though Arthur was his medicine and without him he got sick.

He was going to have to tell Arthur about his magical abilities soon.  Arthur hadn’t noticed yet, or if he had he was dismissing it in his post orgasmic haze...but stuff kept happening when they had sex, mostly small stuff like books or items of clothing floating themselves in the air – but the longer they were together the more frequently this occurred and Merlin would have to address it before the bed started levitating.

How though?  He supposed a practical demonstration would be best; but what if Arthur thought he was a freak and left him?  He might not feel the bond between them in the same way Merlin did.  Again, he returned to wondering what ‘love’ meant to Arthur...and if he learnt of the soulmate thing would he feel like his choices had been taken away?

“So, Mum, Gaius...how do you think I should demonstrate my magical abilities to my boyfriend?”  He held out his palm and a shimmering orb of blue light appeared.  Merlin guided it in a figure of eight pattern around their heads before having it evaporate in a shower of sparkles.  “Like that?  Or -”  Their now forgotten dinner plates levitated off the table and floated into the kitchen.  He left out the more x-rated option he was also considering; it was one thing that they knew he was sleeping with ‘this boy’; it was another talking about it.

Merlin looked expectantly at his family members, both of them staring at him with a combination of pride and awe.  “The first one,” said Hunith, her eyes tearing up again.  She got up and wrapped her arms around Merlin from behind and kissed his raven hair.  “Where did my little boy go?” she whispered.

*

“Uther’s now threatening to come down here if you refuse to see him any longer,” warned Morgana softly.  “Don’t you think it’s been long enough?”  Morgana had stayed in touch with her step-father even when Arthur had cast himself out of his life.  They weren’t exactly close, but the relationship was a steady one to the degree that Morgana would call him every Sunday evening, and stay with him if she ever went to London – which was quite often as she liked to shop, and Exeter did not cater for her fussy tastes.

It was Monday evening and Arthur was enjoying his now weekly dinner with his step-sister, thankful that since the first time no other single work colleagues of Edwin’s had been present. Morgana’s cause of choice this week was obviously to discuss Uther and a possible reconciliation between father and son.

Was he ready to see his father again?  He was older and wiser now, he knew what he wanted, he was no longer the eager to impress young man he had once been...the one who let Uther’s high expectations and his inability to live up to them rule his life.  He was a successful author now.  He was rich in his own right.  OK, so he was teaching at the moment, but that was a favour...he actually had plot bunnies beating a demanding rhythm in his head, pulling him back to his writing.

Could he do it?  Could he face Uther again?

Running a flustered hand through his hair he made a snap decision.  Merlin was going to be away over half term; he would need something to distract himself, keep his mind from getting maudlin.  “I’ll see him in half term,  _if_  he can fit me into his busy schedule then.”  There, no going back once Morgana got her claws into the offer.  “Not here though, I’ll go to London. Will you call him or shall I?”

He could combine his reunion with his father with a much overdue visit to his agent, perhaps make that appointment with the BBC she had been badgering him about regarding the adaption of one of his books, take in some sights...keep himself distracted.

“I’ll call him.  It’s perhaps best if your first words are face to face after all this time.”

“I’ll book a hotel though Morg, there’s no way I’m  _staying_  with him.”

*

“...mng...when does... _fuck_...Lance get back?”  Merlin gripped the wooden handrail tightly as Arthur’s cock worked its own brand of magic inside him.

“Half...hour.”

Merlin’s folded his arms on the railing and dropped his head down, tilting it to the right so he could see Arthur in the corner of his eye.  Arthur had instructed him not to touch himself, and he was finding it hard not to reach down and stroke his own prick as it was begging to be stroked.

Arthur’s steadying hands stilled his hips and prevented him from pushing back, and he wanted more, needed him to go deeper...and harder.  “I thought you were going...ahh...to fuck me _hard_ ,” he challenged, meeting Arthur’s blue eyes for a split second as he accepted the gauntlet.

“I’ll give you harder,” groaned Arthur, pulling out and hammering back in with renewed vigour.   Another angry thrust and he began drilling Merlin’s arse with a relentless ferocity. 

“Fuck  _yes!_ ” cried Merlin.  “Oh God, oh fuck, Arthur...aaah...”  This was perfect, passionate, rough and so  _right_.  When Arthur’s large tanned hand reached down and took hold of his cock Merlin’s legs nearly gave way. 

“You’re  _mine_  Merlin,” muttered Arthur as he simultaneously pounded Merlin’s arse and pumped his cock.  “Say  _my_  name.”  The two of them had argued earlier about Merlin having spent the previous evening at studying at Mordred’s house; this was the make-up sex.

“ARTHUR.  Only...oh shit!”  From this position, draped over the balcony, Merlin could see the road, and right now Lance’s Landrover was winding its way down the lane.  The car port was underneath the balcony.  “Lance is...aaaggh...back.”

Arthur froze and leant forward to have a look.  “Fuck, he’s got someone with him...”  He started to withdraw.

“Please don’t stop...so close...” pleaded Merlin, bringing his hand down and wrapping it around Arthur’s which was gripping his cock. 

Arthur obeyed.  The car was a few twists of the lane away.  The thought of getting caught... Merlin kept his eyes on the progress of the car, his hand remaining over Arthur’s as he increased the speed again.

Merlin felt his orgasm building and didn’t fight to delay it; the car was almost at the house. He felt his inner walls tighten around Arthur as his release came, biting his lip to keep his cries from escaping and alerting the passengers of the Landrover that was taking its final turn before reaching the house.  Arthur followed only moments later,  briefly collapsing onto Merlin’s curved back before pulling Merlin away from the edge of the balcony and tucking himself away hastily.

Merlin hoiked up his jeans, suppressing the urge to laugh he tripped past Arthur and ran into the house, upstairs to Arthur’s room, collapsing exhausted on the bed.  That had been close, but he’d had  _liked_  the danger of discovery... 

Grinning like a loon he began to drift off to sleep.

“Merlin!” hissed Arthur, poking him in the ribs.

“What?” Merlin rolled over and looked up at Arthur through sleep filled eyes.  “You’re so beautiful Arthur,” he said hazily.  The combination of the blue eyes, blond hair and everything that was  _Arthur_  sent shivers through Merlin every time he saw him.

“Thanks,” Arthur leant down and kissed Merlin’s forehead.  “Edwin’s here – my brother-in-law.  He didn’t see us so don’t worry.  You’re going to have to hide up here though, he’s staying for dinner to talk about some conservation project he and Lance are working on. Lance text to warn me but we were, er, busy.”

“S’OK.  Can I use your computer?”  He would have to shelve his plan to tell Arthur about the magic tonight, Edwin’s presence coupled with the whole Mordred argument...and Arthur’s increased stress at the reunion with his father probably made today a bad time anyway.

Arthur reluctantly left Merlin to join Lance and Edwin for pizza.  Merlin opened Arthur’s laptop which was on standby on the floor by the bed, intending to MSN Will or one of the girls to pass the time.  Arthur’s Outlook was open, and as he went to close it an unread email caught his eye:

From: A Friend

Subject:  I know what you’re doing with Merlin Emrys

Merlin’s heart stopped.  What the fuck?

*

 


	12. Bored Already

Arthur hadn’t been able to concentrate all day.  Ever since Friday night when he’d finished eating with Lance and Edwin and gone back upstairs, Merlin had been distracted.  He’d stayed until Sunday as normal, but Arthur had an uneasy feeling something was seriously wrong, Merlin was there in body but his mind seemed to be somewhere else and when Arthur had tried to ask him what was wrong he had pasted an insincere smile on his lovely red lips and lied that he was fine.   _Merlin was not fine._

It was Thursday now; and Merlin had avoided Arthur’s attempts to meet him at lunch time in his office today, suggesting they meet up after school and saying that he wanted to talk.  Why did that phrase ‘we need to talk’ always strike fear into the hearts of the person who hearing the request?  Arthur’s paranoia had returned like a poison, working its way into his blood stream, churning his guts into mush. 

How could one person, a seventeen year old boy at that, have integrated himself so completely into his life so much that the thought of the relationship ending made him feel physically sick?  It seemed he was always asking himself this question; especially when he tried to remember his life without Merlin in it.  His life of self imposed solitude in his house in the Brecon Hills and his time as heir apparent to the Pendragon fortune; all of it a blur...

Arthur picked Merlin up on the bike and brought him back to Lance’s.  Thankfully Lance had gone to a conference about sustainability in woodland areas, or something along those lines, and would be back late.  Much as Arthur liked him; he looked forward to a couple hours with the house to himself.  He wasn’t used to sharing.

When they got back to the house, Arthur made a drink, trying to delay the ‘talk’.  Merlin perched on the edge of the sofa, his leg twitching nervously.  Arthur placed the cup of coffee on the table at the side of him and sat next to him, leaving enough room for another person to sit between them.

“Merlin, you’re worrying me,” Arthur confessed. 

“I’m flying out tomorrow,” he said, not looking at Arthur. 

“Oh, OK.”  Arthur knew this; he’d been counting down the days.  “So you won’t be at school tomorrow?”

“Um, no.  Flight is at 8am, leaving home at four...so I can’t stay late here.”  He bit his lower lip, worrying it with his teeth in a gesture so un-Merlin that Arthur snapped.

“Merlin, look at me!”  Merlin shifted slightly and raised his worried blue eyes to Arthur’s. “Now, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Um...well, I’m off tomorrow and I -” he broke off and lowered his gaze to his shoes.  Arthur’s stomach twisted in frustration.

“And..?” he prompted.

“You love me right?”

Arthur’s heart picked up pace.  Surely that wasn’t the way to begin an ‘it’s over’ conversation. He relaxed a little.

“You know I do.  What’s this about?”

Merlin sighed heavily and closed his eyes, opening them again and fixing Arthur with a pained look.  “I’ve got something I need to confess and I don’t want you to think of me differently afterwards.  Promise me you won’t go mad?”

Oh my God, Merlin had cheated on him with Mordred.  That creepy kid was obsessed with him; Arthur saw the same desire reflected in his piercing blue gaze that he felt in his own when he thought of Merlin...

“I’ll try not to, but I can’t promise; it depends what it is.”  Spit it out already!

“Alright, well, I’ll  _show_  you,” Merlin ran a nervous hand along the inside of his collar and for a moment Arthur thought he was about to pull his t-shirt down and reveal a hickey from another’s lips, but he simply tipped his head back and stretched his neck from side to side before taking a deep breath, “See that Buddha head over there?”

 _What the hell?_   Merlin pointed at Lance’s prized Tibetan stone Buddha which took pride of place in the fireplace.  The thing weighed a bloody ton.  Arthur frowned, now utterly perplexed.

“I see it, but -” Arthur gaped as it began to levitate off the floor and float over to the other side of the room.  “What the..?”  It came to rest besides an armchair.

Merlin stood up, moving to stand in front of Arthur, wary eyes focussed on him as he too began to levitate; Merlin turned himself mid-air as though on gymnastic rings, and considering Merlin’s clumsiness, he was very graceful.  He landed back on his feet and sat on the floor with his legs crossed in front of Arthur.  Arthur felt as though he wanted to shake his head and smack himself out of this surreal moment.

“I’m, um, magical.   _I have magic powers_.”  He exhaled as though he had been holding his breath for a very long time and was looking at Arthur for a reaction.

To say Arthur was literally gobsmacked was something of an understatement.  He’d been expecting Merlin to break up with him, break his heart in pieces; the very last thing he would ever have expected was this.  Honestly, you couldn’t have made this up.  “How did you  _do_ that?  Where are the strings?”

Merlin laughed then, and shook his head, “No strings.  I did it with my mind.  I was born like this – look -” He held out his right hand, Arthur glanced at it briefly, before maintaining the eye contact, amazed to see Merlin’s blue eyes change to gold, and then there was fire, a ball of fire, hovering a couple of inches above Merlin’s hand, floating towards Arthur, making a circle around his head, the reflection of the flames turning his hair orange as his eyes widened in amazement; he could feel the heat from the flame –  _real fire_.

Arthur couldn’t find the words.  He stared at Merlin in amazement, wondering what else he could do, questioning his own eyesight, questioning his  _sanity_. 

“Arthur, say something...” 

“I don’t understand what this means,” he managed to mutter.  “Magic isn’t real.”  He shook his head, unsure whether to be impressed by the party tricks or annoyed that Merlin had said he wanted to ‘talk’ and had put on a magic show instead.

Merlin sighed, “I’m not explaining myself very well am I?  I thought if I showed you first...”

“I’ve been worrying myself stupid all day about what you wanted to say to me, thinking the worst, and you put on a fucking  _magic_  show!”  Arthur didn’t know where the anger came from, but it entered his psyche in a rush of pure frustration.  “I’m not  _twelve_!”

“Arthur -”

“I can’t believe this Merlin!  What do you mean ‘I was born like this’?  Magic!  Do you think I was born yesterday?  I -”  The words froze in his mouth as a humungous crashing noise distracted him, and before either of them realised what was going on, a tree branch came crashing through the window, knocking Merlin to the floor in an unconscious heap.

*

Arthur watched the retreat of his last class of the day with ragged relief and closing the door behind the last student began to pace his classroom, agitation screaming from every pore.  He pulled his mobile out of his pocket; no missed calls.  If he hadn’t needed to stay contactable that phone would have hit the wall sometime around lunchtime.  He knew Lance would call when he had news but the silence was killing him.  This was a fucking waking nightmare.  He was trapped here at the school, and Merlin...Merlin was in hospital in some kind of coma; that is to say, he hadn’t regained consciousness yet.

This was so fucked up.  Arthur had to carry on with being ‘normal’ whilst Merlin was...oh God what if it was serious?  What if he died?  Fuck this pretending there was nothing going on with him and Merlin for proprieties sake...his Merlin was lying in a  _hospital bed_.  He had to go to him before someone tried to stop him.  He couldn’t be here.  What the hell was he still doing here?  Screw the consequences; Merlin was in a  _coma_...

Blind panic almost overcame him as he closed his eyes and remembered Merlin lying prone on the floor in Lance’s living room, blood trickling down his forehead to the carpet; suddenly realising he knew jack shit about first aid.  Lance had saved the day again, arriving home at the right moment and taking charge, calling an ambulance, forcing Arthur to stay behind whilst he went with Merlin to the hospital, promising to call as soon as he knew anything. Arthur hadn’t wanted to stay behind, but Lance had managed to get some sense past his worry addled barriers; arguing that it would look less dodgy if Lance were to be with him, as someone who had no connection to the school, than if Arthur were to go with him.  If Arthur hadn’t been so immobilised by shock he might have objected more, but was it was, his brain seemed to shut down...

Lance made perfect sense...but now Arthur physically hurt from the restraint he was exercising by not going to the hospital and parking himself in his rightful place at Merlin’s side.  Arthur had spent the night wide awake sitting on the sofa, staring at the broken window and the guilty branch that had caused damage, waiting for updates from Lance, and had only come into school for something to do other than pace and watch the workmen fixing up the window.

The last words he had spoken to Merlin had been in anger; and now he couldn’t even remember why he’d been so upset.  God he was such a fucking  _prat_.

A tentative knock sounded on the classroom door, stilling Arthur’s stressed out activity and dragging him back to reality.  “Come in,” he called wearily, running a hand through his hair and straightening his tie, it really wouldn’t do to look as bad as he felt.

The door inched open and a blonde head of perfectly groomed hair atop a pale face appeared. “Sir, have you got a minute?”  Vivian Olaf slid through the now open door, without waiting for Arthur’s response, closing it behind her.  She crossed the distance to Arthur’s desk surprisingly quickly for one attempting to portray a shyness Arthur knew very well she did not possess. 

Arthur forced a smile, the desire to sneer and tell the annoying teenager to get lost bitten back.  “What can I do for you Vivian?”  He gestured towards the chair next to his desk and sat himself in his own chair, turning it to face his student with a questioning look, his internal dialogue screaming ‘get rid of her fast’.

Vivian worried her lower lip with her teeth, attention fixed on a stray rubber band on the parquet floor of the classroom.  “Um...”

Arthur didn’t buy the meek act for one minute.  She spent every English class shamelessly flirting with him, trying desperately to have eye sex with him, and he strongly suspected she was behind the heart shaped confetti that kept on appearing on his desk and the bars of chocolate that had been materialising in his pigeon hole.

“Vivian, I have somewhere I need to be shortly..?”  Like my boyfriend’s hospital bed, so bloody well spit it out already.

“Oh, um...right,” Vivian looked up and pinned Arthur with an intense smouldering stare making him work hard not to recoil in his seat.  Standing up Vivian rounded the desk and before Arthur knew what was happening he had a lapful of brown eyed teen as Vivian straddled him and began to nuzzle his neck. 

Arthur shuddered, the alien touch making his skin crawl, pushing her back with a hefty shove, and feeling almost amused at the sight of her landing in an ungraceful heap on the floor, “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”  Not so ‘shy’ now eh Vivian?  He didn’t bother to censor his language; there could never be a good time for her to make such advances, but to choose today of all days!

“What does it look like I am doing?”  Vivian found her poise and angled herself up onto her knees.  She shuffled forwards and slid a tanned ring adorned hand along Arthur’s thigh. Arthur swatted it away furiously and jumped to his feet, putting the chair between himself and the amorous teenager.

“Vivian this is not appropriate,  _I’m your teacher_.”  You bloody hypocrite, said the voice in his head.  ‘I’m your teacher’ was excuse number one; ‘you leave me completely and utterly cold’ could be number two and ‘you’re  _not_  Merlin’ might suffice for number three, though Arthur doubted he would be voicing that particular objection.

“I know and that just makes it hotter,” Vivian smirked and before Arthur could even blink she had spun the chair out of the way and had pressed herself against him her lips against his in an unwelcome seductive kiss.  Arthur nearly gagged, his hands finding their way to Vivian’s shoulders to push her away again.

“What on earth?   _Arthur_?”  Before Arthur could send Vivian back to where she came, the door had opened again to reveal a surprised looking Morgana; the surprise quickly followed by horror as she surveyed the scene in front of her.

Vivian, finding herself once again rejected as the back of her legs hit the desk at the force of Arthur shoving her away, giggled, “Hello Miss.”  She ran her tongue over her lips with another smirk, “ _Arthur_  and I were just...”

“I can see for myself what you were ‘just’ doing Vivian. Now, its way past home time, I suggest you get going.”  She flicked a concerned glance at Arthur before schooling her features into a blank mask and glaring at the pouting blonde.  “Report to me at 8.30 on the first day back after half term.”

“Sure,” Vivian picked up her bag and met Arthur’s shell shocked eyes.  “Let’s do this again Mr P.”  Slinking from the room she threw a teasing glance back at Arthur who was frozen to the spot by a mixture of horror, disgust and anger.

“Arthur - what the hell?”  Morgana shut the door behind Vivian and came to stand in front of Arthur, arms folded, foot tapping. 

“It’s not what it looked like,” Arthur started, coming out of his stasis, dread seeping through him as he looked imploringly at his step-sister.  How fucking ironic.  Getting caught in flagrante with a student that wasn’t actually the one he should be getting in the shit for.

“I  _know_  that,” Morgana surprised him by saying.  “Vivian Olaf is a predator.  She did the same to Ewan last year, caused a right mess when she accused him of trying it on with her, luckily I managed to bury it before the rest of the staff found out; he could have lost his job over it.”

“Oh great.  So I can expect accusations to be flying all over the staff room next week?” Arthur slumped in his chair and banged his head on the desk, as if today could get any worse; not that he could really bring himself to care if she sold a fake kiss and tell story to The Sun right now.  He needed to get to Merlin.

“I don’t know Arthur, honestly.  We’ll have to wait and see what she does.”  Morgana crouched down beside her brother and wrapped an arm around him, giving him a one armed hug.  “You need to be more careful; you should never let her get you alone.”

“Why are you so sure I wasn’t succumbing to her charms?  When you walked in I hadn’t even pushed her away yet.”

“Even if you weren’t gay and immune to the questionable charms of Miss Olaf, I know you would never do anything so stupid.”

Arthur felt guilt and shame slide through him at her trusting voice.   _Never do anything so stupid_...A couple of months ago Arthur would have thought so too, but now look at him...desperately hoping his seventeen year old boyfriend wasn’t about to ditch him.  When Morgana found out about that she’d be so disappointed in him.  He really didn’t want to let her down.  She’d been a lifeline in the past. 

“What did you want anyway – before you walked in on me being ‘attacked’?”

“I was wondering if you fancied a pint.  A few of us are going for a drink; everyone’s a bit shook up at what’s happened to Merlin; and after what’s just happened to you I bet you could use a drink?”

Arthur could use a whole bottle of whisky.  “Is there any news on Merlin?” he found himself asking, almost hoping she had a more recent update than he did via Hunith.

“Not since this morning when he still hadn’t woken up, poor kid,” She remained oblivious to Arthur’s knuckles whitening as he clutched the back of his chair.  “You’re lucky you were out when that tree felled as you could have been hurt too – and – you never told me  _Lance_  was dating Merlin now?  I thought you and him..?”

Great; so now everyone thought Lance was Merlin’s mystery boyfriend.  Lance was a good five years closer in age and not his teacher.  Lance would be able to sit at Merlin’s bedside and hold his hand.  Not that Arthur thought Lance would be doing any of the hand holding, but he could if he wanted, whilst Arthur was stuck here being hit on by slutty teenage vamps.

“I told you Lance and I are just friends.”  Lance and Merlin are just friends too. 

That was it; he was calling Lance  _now_.  He needed to know about Merlin, even if there was no change he wanted to hear it.

“So - drink?” asked Morgana with a waggle of the eyebrows. 

“I’ll meet you down there; I’m just gonna phone Lance.”  He affected a shudder, “Just one drink though, I feel like a long shower to wash Vivian’s touch off.”

Morgana laughed, “I predict a great career ahead of her as some kind of reality TV star; you know, one of those pointless people who are always telling their business to Heat and OK magazines.”

“Like Jordan?”

“You got it.”

They both laughed as Arthur locked up the classroom.  He waited until she was round the corner and out of hearing range before he pulled out his phone and found Lance’s number.

“Lance, how is..?  Oh, well that’s, er, good right?  Yes I know.  No.  No... That’s it, I’m coming up there.  I can’t stand it Lance.  What?  No, I don’t care, I need to see him.”  Arthur ended the call and headed for the exit.  Merlin needed him.  His phone trilled and seeing it was Lance again he answered swiftly, “No...no, I’m on my way.  What?”  Arthur stopped walking and leant back against the nearest wall, sliding down it to sit on the floor as his legs seemed to give way beneath him.  “OK, you’re right.  I’ll stay away, but you have to promise me as soon as you hear anything..?  You’re a good mate, thanks.”

So he wasn’t going to the hospital.  Lance had a way of talking him down.  What could he do anyway other than stress out Hunith and Gaius more than they already were?  Hunith had promised to call Lance with any news; Lance would tell Arthur.  It was the best he was going to get right now.

He needed that drink.

*

He was dreaming, someone was walking away from him, and no matter how loudly he called his name, or how fast he ran, the blond never turned his head and Merlin could never catch up with him.  No, not a dream; this was a nightmare.

He wanted to wake up but he couldn’t open his eyes.  His head was bloody killing him.  Why couldn’t he open his eyes?  What was that awful noise, and who did those voices belong to? He tried to open his eyes for a second time, but nothing happened.  The voices became distant again and he fell back into the abyss that was a pain free darkness.

When he heard the noises again and tried to open his eyes, something happened, they started to open but they felt stuck together and he could only see a thin sliver of light coming through.  He heard himself groan, and someone – his Mum? – was saying his name and gently stroking his forehead.  “Mum?” he whispered hoarsely.

“Oh thank God.  Fetch the doctor would you?”  Merlin heard someone shuffle away and the sound of a door opening and closing.

Merlin felt his eyelids flutter as he was able to open his eyes further; his Mum was leaning over him, blocking out the bright hospital lights.  “Where...what..?”

“Shhh love, it’s alright,” Merlin could hear the relief in his Mum’s voice, and as his eyes began to focus he could see her eyes were blotchy and rimmed with red where she had been crying. “Just rest until the doctor gets here to check you over.  How does your head feel?”

“Hurts.  Thirsty.  What happened to me?”  Hunith picked up a plastic beaker of water and helped Merlin swallow some down.  He was attached to a saline drip, but that wouldn’t quench his physical thirst.

“You’ve hit your head,” she kissed his cheek and clasped his hand in between hers.  She bit back a sob.  “You’ve been unconscious for four days; we were so worried...”

The door flew open to reveal Gaius and a tall ginger man with a white coat and glasses, presumably the doctor.  “Back in the land of the living then Mr Emrys?” he drawled.  “We’ve been more than a little worried about you.”

The doctor began checking Merlin’s vitals, seeming happy with the results, before holding up three fingers and asking Merlin to count them.  Merlin rolled his eyes and gave the answer. “He’s already rolling his eyes,” laughed Gaius.  “He’ll be fine.”

“You’ve taken a severe blow to the head,” said the doctor.  “I’ll need you to stay in for observation for a couple of days at least, until I’m happy everything is working as it should.” He scribbled a few notes on the clipboard hanging off the end of the bed and tucked his pen back into his breast pocket.  “I’ll pop in to see you in a couple of hours.  In the meantime, get some rest.”

Merlin watched him leave before turning to his Mum.  “I’m bored already,” he joked with a wan smile as he shimmied back down under the covers.  “’M tired.”  He closed his eyes and as sleep claimed him again he pushed aside a niggling feeling that something was missing.

*

 


	13. First Sight

I should never have listened to you!”

 

Lance had the good grace to at least look a little chagrined under Arthur’s intense glare.  “How was I to know he’d be in for so long?  I’m  _not_  a doctor am I?”  His brown eyes flashed at Arthur in annoyance.

 

“I can’t do this anymore Lance, its fucking killing me.  I’ve got to see him.  What must he be thinking?  He’ll think that I don’t give a crap about him.”  Arthur knew he looked like shit; he hadn’t been able to sleep, he didn’t want to eat anything...  He must look  _bad_  if Morgana had bought the excuse as to why he couldn’t go to London to reunite with his father; she’d come tearing round after he’d called her, recriminations falling by the wayside the moment she had clapped eyes on him, and that had been two days ago.  “Has he asked where I am?”

 

“Actually nom he hasn't.  He’s been very quiet in general when I’ve seen him, not like his normal self at all.”  Lance frowned as if he’d only just realised.

Arthur groaned and dropped his head into his hands.  “This is all my fault.  I was so vile to him when I should have given him time to explain.  I wouldn’t blame him if he was done with me for good.”  He felt his eyes pool with tears and angled his head away from Lance’s line of vision, blinking rapidly.  He didn’t think he could take it if he really had blown it.  All that stuff about magic had triggered off his temper, and he didn’t even understand why.  He hoped that wasn’t his undoing.  “I don’t care, fuck it all.  I’m going to the hospital and I’m going  _now_.”

“Arthur I don’t think that is such a good idea, you’re risking -”

Arthur slammed his hand onto the table causing Lance to jump.  “Lance please, put yourself in my shoes...  Merlin’s been in hospital for six days.   _Six fucking days_!  He’s my...” Arthur took a deep breath as the realisation hit him in the solar plexus.  “...soulmate.” 

“I do understand you know, and I would bloody well hope he’s your soulmate with all you’ve got on the line for him.  That still doesn’t change the fact that rushing over to the hospital is a bad idea.”

Part of him knew Lance was right, but the bigger pull, the heart of him, had to see Merlin before he went insane.  He didn’t think he was being dramatic about being soulmates, something inside him – the voice in his head maybe or his unconscious...probably one in the same anyway – knew this was the right word and that it was true.  Merlin was his.  He was Merlin’s.  There would never be anyone else, and if Merlin wanted to quit school and become a magician pulling rabbits out of hats for the rest of his life, Arthur wouldn’t care; as long as he was the one Merlin came home to.

Bloody hell, it was official, he really was a girl.  He stood up from his spot at the kitchen table and looked around for the keys to his bike, remembering they were probably in his jacket pocket in his bedroom.  He stalked past Lance to the stairs, not hearing Lance’s phone vibrate in his pocket in his determination to get to his goal.  Locating the keys and pulling on his jacket he headed back down and heard Lance talking.

“No problem.  Of course I don’t mind; you can relax, he’ll be fine with me.  What time?  Great, yeah, OK.”  He hung up and turned to grin at Arthur.  “Problem solved.  That was Hunith; Merlin’s being discharged in a couple of hours and she’s asked me to pick him up.”

“I’m coming with you.”  Relief surged thought Arthur at the news Merlin was coming out of hospital, it must mean that he really was OK.  Thank God.

“No, you stay here Arthur, just in case any of the students are hanging around visiting.”

“But -” Who had died and made Lance king?  Bloody bastard was always so right about everything; it was rather annoying.

“I’ll bring him here before I take him home.  Hunith will be working till late and the uncle is away, we have time for a visit.”  Lance looked hopefully at Arthur, obviously hoping he wouldn’t kick off at the suggestion.

Arthur suddenly felt too tired to argue.  “OK.  Thanks Lance.  You’re a good mate.”

*

After two more days in hospital Merlin was bored out of his tree.  Finally Dr Ginger (Merlin had never managed to catch his actual name) said he was OK to go home, and Hunith had arranged for Lance to pick him up because there was an important conference on at the hotel and she couldn’t spare the time from work; now that she knew Merlin was on the mend she had relaxed considerably, and Gaius had bumbled off to stay with another of his scholarly mates in Edinburgh for the rest of the half term.

Merlin had not been short of visitors; Will, who had gone all weird and kept on insisting he was ‘there for Merlin’, Gwen, Freya and Mordred had all come by more than once, even  _Valiant_ had turned up for half an hour.  Kathy from the National trust cafe, Merlin’s old boss, had also visited and almost smothered Merlin with her breasts when she hugged him, cooing over him like he was five years old.

Lance had been there on and off, and Merlin was sick of hearing his Mum talking about what a lovely young man he was; it was like she thought he was the second fucking coming or something.  Not that Merlin didn’t like Lance, he did, but what was with all the fuss over him? So, Lance had brought him to the hospital when he’d been hit by the branch because he’d been at Lance’s house when it had happened; apparently that was enough of a good deed for people to think he should wear his underwear on top of his trousers.  Merlin was thoroughly perplexed.

Then again, Merlin was perplexed by a lot of things at the moment.  Everything felt weird.  He couldn’t wait to get home and out of the hospital.  Hospitals were the most un-relaxing places on the planet; too hot, too noisy, strange cabbage like odours and why were the lights always on, even in his private room?

The door opened and Lance’s handsome dark head appeared, “Ready then Merlin?”

Merlin grinned happily.   _Finally_.  He shufted himself out of the chair by the bed, still a little stiff from so many days lying down, and went to pick up his holdall to find that Lance had got there first.  “Thanks,” he muttered as Super Lance hoisted the bag over his shoulder and led the way out of the room.

He followed Lance down to a Land Rover and climbed into the passenger seat and plugged himself in, waiting for Lance to do the same before they set off for home.

“Arthur’s desperate to see you,” Lance said as they pulled out of the hospital car park.  “He’ll be back from London this evening; he really didn’t want to go but it had all been planned and Morgana would have hit the roof about it.”

“Uh – OK,” Merlin managed, wondering if now was a good time to confess what he had been holding back since a few hours after he woke up from his little coma.  Namely, who the fuck are Lance and Arthur?  He’s never met Lance before!  Yet the man seemed to know him, and this Arthur who Lance kept on about that was supposedly desperate to see him but not enough to be bothered to actually come to the hospital apparently – Merlin had no idea who this person was!  Didn’t he deserve some kind of award though; for an outstanding performance?  Not batting an eyelid when his Mum had brought Lance into his room, all excited, and sensing he should be pleased to see the good looking man standing beside’s his mother; he had bluffed it.   _Well done him_.

No, confession may be good for the soul and all that kind of thing, but in this case it might result in him being dumped back in hospital for tests and getting hooked up to beeping machines and whatnot.  No thank you.  He’d only forgotten a little bit of time it would seem. Time enough for him to have made two friends he couldn’t remember, but it would all come back to him;  _wouldn’t it?_

*

If there was an Olympic award for pacing, Arthur would be England’s greatest hope.  He’d always been unable to sit still when he was really stressed.  No long relaxing baths for him, he had to be doing something.  So pacing back and forth to the window, now fully repaired and looking as though nothing had ever breached its defences, then looking out of the window to see if Lance’s car was approaching and back to the fireplace and so on.  What the hell was taking them so long?

He’d had more stress these past couple of months than the last few years combined; teaching and the fact that he really wasn’t enjoying it, schoolgirls coming on to him, his estranged father trying to lure him back into the fold, breaking his fingers, missing home and then of course Merlin which was a whole new volume of problems...and delights.

Pausing by the window Arthur thought he saw a car approaching.  Not much traffic came down this way as the cliff road had an almost sheer drop for half a mile or so.  People driving down here tended to be those who knew where they were going.  He craned his neck and exhaled in relief upon realising it was the car he was waiting for, enjoying one blissful moment before the nerves overcame him; if only they he hadn’t raised his voice at Merlin the last time he had seen him and this could be a dead cert for a happy reunion.

Lance pulled the car onto the drive, and Arthur drank in his first view of Merlin as he climbed out of the passenger seat, pleased to note that apart from the cut on his head, which didn’t look so bad, he looked like he always did; lanky, pale and heart wrenchingly beautiful. Perhaps calling a man beautiful wasn’t appropriate, but for Merlin, Arthur really believed it to be true; the porcelain skin, the sharp cheekbones...his pink kissable lips.   _You really are a girl_ _Arthur_!

Arthur watched, standing back from the window slightly so as not to draw attention to himself, as Merlin looked up at the house, his expression blank; only his slight worrying of his lower lip belying any nervousness he might be feeling.

At the footsteps on the stairs; Arthur’s heart sped up.  Only a few seconds more and Merlin would be back in his arms and Arthur could feel right again...he hoped.  He tried to appear as though he was nonchalant about the whole thing, suddenly embarrassed lest he show himself to be total emotional wreck in front of Lance – more than he had already anyway.  He’d been angry in Lance’s presence, but he hadn’t broken down, and he didn’t want to start now.

The door opened and Lance came in first, smiling at Arthur, holding the door open for Merlin who followed him into the room.  The first thing Arthur thought was that he actually looked paler than normal, which kicked off his worry gene, which he tamped down quickly, not wanting to go into overbearing fuss mode; that was Merlin’s Mum’s job. 

Their eyes met, the darker blue of Merlin’s wide gaze holding a slight hint of surprise and confusion as his lips curled up into what Arthur could only describe as a perfunctory smile, “Hello Arthur.”  Merlin dragged his gaze away from Arthur’s and looked him slowly up and down, as if seeing him for the first time, and Arthur could swear that he saw a flash of shock before his face returned to its neutral expression.

Arthur couldn’t speak to greet Merlin, his ability to speak temporarily abandoned him; the feeling that something was off niggling in the pit of his stomach – but what?

“Okaaay,” said Lance before muttering under his breath, “ _Awkward_.”  He backed up and sidled along the wall to the other door.  “I’ll just be – er – checking my email.”  He almost ran out of the door.

“Merlin,” managed Arthur hoarsely.  “Oh God I -” He took a couple of tentative steps closer to his quarry, eyes narrowing as Merlin seemed to shrink back from him.  “Look, I know I was a wanker, and I’m sorry.”

Merlin looked at him wordlessly.

“I’ve been out of my mind with worry...  I missed you so much,” and with that Arthur launched himself at Merlin, kissed his forehead and his arms circling the younger, pulling him close into him, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in his hair, trying to ignore the tears that had returned and were threatening to fall into Merlin’s soft black locks.

Merlin stood rigidly within his embrace, but Arthur was so caught up in the moment, having Merlin back in his arms that he didn’t notice anything was wrong until a small voice said, “If you were so concerned about me, why didn’t you come to the hospital?”

*

Arthur released Merlin from the smothering hug and Merlin stepped back and folded his arms. If he hadn’t been confused before, he certainly was now.  He’d  _known_  in his gut that his Mum’s assumption that Lance was his boyfriend (and when had he come out anyway?!) couldn’t be correct, because despite his chocolate box good looks and manly physique, Lance left him cold in the, er, trouser department.  He hadn’t been able to question it though, and as the notion had never been raised in Lance’s presence he could hardly bring it up could he? 

‘Excuse me, but are you my boyfriend?’ would perhaps give away his little memory loss.  So he had hoped all would become clear, hopefully before his ‘boyfriend’ tried to kiss him or something.  He hadn’t, thankfully, and now the reason for Lance’s lack of boyfriend like behaviour was standing before him, all blond and perfect, and Merlin had to admit a strong stirring of attraction following the hug – no,  _hell_ , following meeting his eyes for the first time.

 _If_  this Arthur was his boyfriend, and he was certainly acting as though he  _was_ , why did his Mum think he was with Lance?  Bloody hell...Arthur was  _old_.  He’d been surprised that when he’d thought that he and Lance were together because Lance looked to be about 25.  Arthur was older than that.  Not that he wasn’t still hot for whatever age he was, he was – Merlin bit back a smile at the thought – ‘smokin’ hot.

If he was, how serious could it be as it was October now and he remembered the summer holidays, or most of them at least. 

He was beginning to wish he had been honest to the doctor now; he was effectively alone in a strange house with two men he knew nothing about.  He must have a fucking death wish.

Arthur was staring at him with a pained expression following his question about hospital visits and Merlin could almost see him struggle to find the answer, “You know why,” he croaked, his voice cracking, and Merlin felt a stab of guilt that this blond vision in front of him seemed to be genuinely distressed at his words, until he thought of Will, Freya, Mordred, Gwen... _Valiant_ ; all finding the time to come and see if he was OK.  Where had Arthur been then?

 _He couldn’t deal with this now_.  He was torn between the desire to kiss Arthur senseless or to turn and run as fast as and as far as he could, because something in the back of his mind, his lost memories trying to break through, did not want to be near the man right now.

“Sounds to me like you just didn’t care enough,” Merlin said, conflicted, wondering where the malice in his voice came from because the longer he was in the room, the more he wanted to wrap himself around Arthur and never let go, and it was confusing, because he didn’t even know what Arthur really was to him and he wished he could just bite the bullet and  _ask_  but he was scared of what the answer would be. 

“You know that’s not true,” Arthur took a baby step back towards Merlin, his hand coming up to curve around Merlin’s cheek, and his breath hitched at the contact, and the look in Arthur’s eyes.  “I’ve told you a million times how I feel about you Merlin.  I -”

“I can’t do this now,” Merlin backed away until he made contact with the door.  “I want to go home.”  He wanted nothing more than the solitude of his bedroom and his thoughts, he had to get his head round this and he had to be alone to do it. 

He watched the emotions flitting across Arthur’s face at his words; hurt, guilt, anger,  _despair_ , and it was then that he noticed how tired he looked, how weary.  He hadn’t really seen it before because he had no other picture of Arthur to compare it to...and as quickly as the urgent desire to get out of there had overtaken him, he now found the need to stay and hold Arthur until he fell asleep and the fatigue was washed away, which was a fucking ridiculous thought really because, again, who was Arthur to him?

“If that’s what you want, I’ll take you now.” 

“No, Lance should take me, Mum asked  _him_  to bring me home, not  _you_.”  Once more with the malicious tone, designed to hurt; what the fuck was wrong with him?  This wasn’t like him. The words coming from his mouth were the total opposite of what he was feeling.

“I’ll go and get him then,” said Arthur, looking defeated, and he headed towards the door Lance had exited through earlier.

Merlin sagged onto the sofa.  This was the right thing to do; he should never have come here in the first place.  Stupid, foolish folly. 

*

All that pacing must have worn him out.  Arthur Pendragon did  _not_  wallow.  He was merely resting on his bed, it had been a long and stressful day; worry about Merlin, joy that he would finally be able to see him, the bliss of holding him again, then the heart wrenching pain at Merlin’s accusing words and his rejection.  He may not have said much, but this was a case of a few words being enough to twist the knife and cut out his still beating heart; and if that was too dramatic, Arthur didn’t fucking care. 

OK, so maybe he  _was_  wallowing a bit.  Merlin had been so cold and almost impassive that Arthur feared there really would be no going back from this.  If someone can barely look at you, how can that person love you?  Merlin had  _never_  said he loved him anyway. 

Tomorrow Arthur would find Merlin, because today hadn’t been the time to push it when Merlin was still vulnerable and pale from his stay in hospital, and try to make it right; he may be down but he most certainly was not out until Merlin told him he didn’t want him anymore. Maybe Merlin was a little depressed and lonely after being so ill, and he was right, Arthur _hadn’t_  visited him...if he’d tried hard enough he could have found a way, right?   _He hadn’t tried hard enough_.  He was a shit boyfriend.  He’d expected Merlin to understand why he couldn’t come; but the reality was he had left him in that hospital with nothing more than messages via Lance for the best part of a week, and this was following Arthur shouting at Merlin and almost losing him to a force of nature.

Fucking  _hell_.

Arthur closed his eyes in an attempt to block out the image of a glaring Merlin, but his face was burnt into the back of his eyelids.  Fuck it.  Fuck it all.  He jumped off the bed, anger coursing through him; suddenly coming alive as he gave in to the frustration and starting throwing things at the wall; his phone, a stray coffee mug, the lamp, his alarm clock – anything he could get his hands on – and just as fast the anger abated and he sank to the floor at the end of the bed, head in his hands, silent tears falling down his cheeks as he stared unseeingly at the mess he had just created.

He didn’t hear the door open and a voice quietly speaking his name.  He did, however, feel the impact as a warm body launched itself from the doorway and wrapped him in a clumsy embrace, and he felt the smooth thumbs that brushed away his tears and hot the breath that tickled his neck as his attacker nuzzled him there. 

“I’m sorry,” Merlin breathed, pulling back slightly and settling himself onto Arthur’s lap, shooting him a wary glance.

Arthur felt the joy building up inside of him.  Merlin was here, and he wasn’t looking at him like he hated him, in fact he had just leaned up to kiss him.  Arthur had come home.

“I’d  _forgotten_ ,” Merlin was saying.  “I mean I have forgotten.  I don’t remember you, or Lance.  Bang on the head and all that...and I didn’t tell the doctor because I so wanted to be out of there, and Mum seemed to think Lance was my boyfriend, and I couldn’t tell her I didn’t think that could be right, and Lance kept on about you and how much you missed me and how bad you felt, and I had no idea who you were, and all I could think was that you couldn’t give a shit if you didn’t visit and -”

“Merlin, take a breath,” said Arthur affectionately, stroking his hands in Merlin’s hair.  Merlin inhaled deeply and offered Arthur a sheepish grin.  “That’s better, now carry on?”  He supposed he should be reacting with more concern as it Merlin was confessing he had lost his memory and Arthur was the first to find out about it, but he  _needed_  to hear him out for the sake of his own sanity.

“I told Lance to turn back.  Just now.  We were half way home, but the further I got from you the more I wanted to come back.  I don’t know why, I just know, even though I can’t actually remember  _us_ , that you’re very important to me and I wanted to be here.”  Merlin broke off with a laugh.  “It’s quite funny really, but when I first saw you earlier, it felt like love at first sight, and I don’t even care if you didn’t visit because - mmmph!”  Arthur stilled his lips with a kiss.

Arthur groaned; he’d been unable to ignore the need to kiss Merlin any longer.  “It  _was_  love at first sight the first time too,” he said and didn’t bother adding that Merlin had never admitted as much to him yet, only knowing that was how he had felt.  He bent his head and pressed his lips to Merlin’s again, gently, and was pleasantly surprised when Merlin immediately responded by sucking his lower lip into his mouth before probing his tongue into Arthur’s mouth, his hand going to the back of Arthur’s neck, pulling him closer with a whimper of need.

Arthur only had time to briefly think that perhaps they should talk some more before anything else happened, but then Merlin’s hand was pressing against his straining erection through his jeans and all coherent thought flew out of the window.

Plenty of time for talking tomorrow.

*

 


	14. Intentions

“Oh Gods Arthur, ignore it, don’t stop...” gasped Merlin at the distant sound of the doorbell, not that Arthur looked as though he was about to abandon his current activity of slowly giving Merlin the blow job of his life – at least the part of his life that Merlin  _could_ remember.  Arthur hummed around his mouthful of Merlin, as if to answer him, and the doorbell was forgotten as Arthur increased the pressure of his tongue.  Merlin’s toes curled and his hips arched off the bed as he came hard into the hot warmth of Arthur’s mouth.

Arthur licked Merlin clean and crawled back up to lie flush with him, pulling him close and burying his face in his neck.  Neither of them wanted to move, but Merlin felt as though duty was calling him; that duty being his Mum.

“I suppose I should go home,” Merlin sighed, his words muffled by Arthur’s chest.  “Mum will be worried.”  He didn’t want to take the piss with his Mum’s good nature; and she  _had_  cranked up the worrying since Merlin’s hospital holiday.

Arthur chuckled, tightening his embrace around Merlin, “You’ve been here for one night; she knows where you are.”  He absently stroked circles around Merlin’s tattoo with his thumb. “You know, I can’t believe how good Lance has been about all this.  He’s not disparaging any rumours about you and him; to protect me.”

“Did I really hate him?” asked Merlin.  “I can’t believe I would ever not like someone like Lance; he’s so  _nice_.”

“You _loathed_  him.  You were totally jealous.”

“I suppose I would have been if I thought he wanted you.  You’re  _mine_.”

“I like it when you get all possessive, even if you have forgotten who I am.”

“I know who you are.  My magic wouldn’t let me forget you even if my stupid neurones or whatever are trying their best to keep us apart.”  Merlin twisted round, resting his head on his elbow to look at Arthur.  “I’m shagging my teacher; how hot is that?”

“Yes, well, about that...” 

“What about it?”

Merlin knew Arthur had been doing a lot of thinking these past few days when Merlin was in hospital.  Now Merlin was almost up to speed on with how they met and their relationship. Arthur also made Merlin call Doctor Ginger to admit his memory loss, cue Merlin being told off before the doctor reassured him that it was likely temporary, but for him to go in tomorrow anyway.

They’d also talked about Merlin’s magic and what he could do with it; Arthur raising the subject then apologising profusely when he’d realised it wasn’t just parlour tricks, it was real _power_.  Merlin had left out the part where it felt like his magic was pulling the two them together, like powerful magnets; he didn’t really understand what that was, though he was glad for it because it had made him get Lance to turn the car around.  As a result of that he was back where he felt he belonged.

Merlin’s mobile phone started ringing and he groaned.  “I bet that’s Will again.  I don’t know what’s got into him, he won’t leave me alone.”  Merlin scrambled out of bed and rummaged around in his long forgotten jeans for his phone.

“Hello?  Oh.  OH.  Okay, I’ll be right there.”  Merlin threw the phone onto the bed. “Shit. Arthur, get up!”

“What’s the matter?”  Merlin was hopping on one leg trying to get his boxers on. 

“Grandpa’s come to visit.”

“Oh Merlin, that’s great.  You were really looking forward to seeing him this week.  It’s OK, go and spend -”

“No Arthur, I mean he’s  _here_.  Downstairs, at the front door.  He just told me off for ignoring the doorbell.”

“ _Fuck_.”  Arthur sprang out of the bed.  “Busted?”

“Er, no...maybe.  It’s  _Grandpa_.  He’s kind of not like other Grandparents.”  Merlin had a feeling that Grandpa wouldn’t be a problem for them.  “I’ll go and let him in; you stay up here and I’ll come and get you if I need you – not quite sure how this is going to pan out just yet.”

Arthur frowned, but didn’t argue.  “I’ll grab a quick shower.”  He grabbed a towel off the back of a chair and headed towards the en suite, pausing to peck Merlin on the lips.

Merlin watched the door close behind him and quickly crossed his fingers as he descended the two flights of stairs down to the front door.  He opened the door and there was no one there. “Grandpa?” he called, stepping outside and trying to see where the older man might have gone.

“Boo!”  Kil Emrys appeared out of thin air.  “Got you!”

“Grandpa!  How did you -” He was swept into a strong embrace. 

“You look well Merlin, for someone who took a bash to the head just to avoid visiting me.”  He ran a tentative hand over his grandson’s forehead, lifting his dark hair out of the way to inspect for injuries.  “You look like you had a run in with an angry kitten not a tree.”  He ran a finger over the healing cut on Merlin’s hairline. 

“You didn’t tell me you were coming,” accused Merlin, trying to sound annoyed but only managing petulant. 

Kil laughed, “I didn’t know myself until yesterday, damned cabin crew strikes.  I wasn’t going to miss out on seeing you though kid.  From what you’ve been telling me lately you need a good face to face talk with your old Gramps.”

Merlin snorted.  “You make yourself sound ancient.  You’re barely fifty.”

“Thank you Merlin, fifty-five if you don’t mind.”

“Whatever.  Does Mum know you’re here?”

“How do you think I know you were here?” replied Kil with a roll of his eyes.  “I could have scryed I suppose but asking is a lot quicker.”

“Er - do you want to come in?”

“Yes Merlin, as lovely as the view is from here, it is November and I’m used to Arizona temperatures these days.”

Merlin opened the front door and led Grandpa inside, hoping Arthur was still upstairs in the shower.  He sighed as thoughts of Arthur in the shower made certain parts of his anatomy stir, and he cursed under his breath; how could that be springing back to life so soon after the earth shattering orgasm he’d enjoyed not ten minutes earlier?

Kil followed Merlin inside and looked around the living area curiously, “This is an impressive piece of real estate,” he opined, walking over to the window to admire the panoramic view of the ocean.

“I know,” agreed Merlin, joining him at the window.  “Lance won the lottery and bought this house with his winnings.”

“Hmm.”

“What do you mean ‘hmm’?”

“Who’s this Lance your Mum told me about?  I thought your guy was called Arthur -”

“Fuck Grandpa – you didn’t say that to Mum did you?”  Shit shit shit, Merlin hadn’t thought of this possibility.  He’d obviously told his grandfather about Arthur, even if he couldn’t remember doing so.

“Do I look stupid?  No – don’t answer that,” he laughed.  “Of course I didn’t say anything to Hunith, though I must say she’s taken the gay thing very well, and seems very enamoured with this Lance person.  Again – who is Lance?”

“Arthur’s friend; he lodges with him.”  Merlin scratched his head and tried to look innocent. “Mum may have got it into her head that I’m with Lance, not Arthur...  I’m not gay either, I’m bi.”

“Hmph; same thing.  Why would you continue to let her think that?”  He walked back into the room and sat in the armchair near the fireplace, resting his foot on his knee as he continued to inspect the contents of the room.

Merlin sensed he wasn’t going to get away with any fabrication with his grandpa right in front of him and the object of the discussion just upstairs.

“Because Arthur is a  _bit_  older,” Merlin confessed in a low voice, half hoping he wouldn’t be heard.  He’d drop in the teacher thing later if Grandpa was OK with the older thing.  “Er, haven’t I already told you this?”

Kil’s eyes narrowed, “You know very well you haven’t.  How  _much_  older?”

“Thirty.”

“ _What?_   He’s  _thirty years_  older!?”

“No!  He’s  _thirty_  years old.”  Merlin watched him closely for reaction but found no recoil or instant disapproval.

“Oh, is that all?  You had me worried there for a minute.  Not that I would try to talk you out of it.”

“You’d be ok if I was dating a bloke in his forties?”  Merlin tried to imagine what Arthur would look like at forty-seven, and wondered if he’d have felt the same about him if he  _had_  been thirty years older, thinking he probably would...  It always came back to Arthur, even when he couldn’t actually remember meeting him he still wanted him.  Merlin decided Arthur would be a hot older guy.

“Well, I wouldn’t love it, but we’ve...I’ve...established this man is your soulmate, though I may have worded it slightly differently the first time round; you couldn’t ignore that pull even if he was in his nineties.”

“Eww.”  He didn’t want to imagine any of them being  _that_  old.  “Er – soulmate?”

Kil frowned again.  “Is there something else you want to tell me Merlin?  You seem to have forgotten some very significant conversations we’ve had in recent weeks.”

How could Merlin have forgotten how well his grandfather knew him and how bloody astute he was?  With a groan Merlin threw himself onto the sofa and explained about his memory loss.

“You haven’t told Hunith?  Merlin -”

“The doctor reckons it will come back by itself.  I’ve only lost a couple of months; it’s not the end of the world.”  It felt like it sometimes though, like when he couldn’t remember meeting Arthur, or the things they had done together.  He couldn’t help wonder what would have happened if he hadn’t felt that strong urge to go back to Arthur, even when he didn’t really understand why.  “Besides, I’m over 16, doctor patient confidentiality and all that.  I don’t want Mum to worry; she’s got enough on her plate.”

“So can I meet Arthur?” Kil changed the subject.  “He’s waiting upstairs I assume?”

*

Arthur heard the door inch open and smiled as Merlin’s face appeared in the gap.  “Grandpa wants to meet you,” he said with a nervous frown.  The rest of this body followed his head into the room.  “I told him how old you are and he’s fine about it.  Haven’t mentioned the teacher thing though; I think he’ll be cool with it but...”

Arthur grimaced, knowing they were heading into muddy waters.  Merlin genuinely revered his grandfather though, and Arthur had to take Merlin’s lead.  If Merlin thought it would be OK then Arthur had to have faith.  “Come here,” he sat up on the bed where he had been lying nervously waiting for a summons and held out an arm.  Merlin hurled himself at him, curling into the waiting embrace like a thirsty man at the oasis, nuzzling into Arthur’s neck.  “It’ll be fine OK?”  He felt as though he needed to reassure Merlin, even though he was the one with everything to lose if this went badly.  Someone being OK about their seventeen year old grandson being involved with a thirty year old sounded like a liberal sort and Arthur wanted to be optimistic about it.

Together they climbed off the bed and Arthur smoothed out his clothing and checked his hair in the mirror before following Merlin downstairs.  Merlin slipped his fingers through his and Arthur felt possessiveness course through him.  He wished that he’d had chance this morning to talk to Merlin about what he had decided to do about teaching.  Hell, he wished a lot of things, but a person couldn’t always have what they wanted could they?

Merlin’s grandfather was in the chair near the fireplace, clearly getting impatient for his first glance at his grandson’s boyfriend.  Arthur’s stereotypical grandfather with a big white beard and a pipe flew out of his head immediately.

“Grandpa,” said Merlin proudly.  “This is Arthur Pendragon.”

Arthur felt as though he wanted to bow or something.  He held out his hand instead, “Pleased to meet you Mr Emrys.”  The older man took his hand and offered what looked to be a genuine smile.

“Call me Kil,” he offered.  “Pleased to meet you too Arthur.”  He firmly shook Arthur’s hand. Arthur relaxed slightly.

“I’ll, er, put the kettle on,” said Merlin as the two men sized one another up and left for the kitchen.

“So, Pendragon?  Unusual name.  You must be Uther’s son?”  Arthur’s heart sank at the mention of his father.

“For my sins,” he replied.  “You know of him?”  He had kind of hoped that with Kil having spent a lot of time in America these last few years the whole rise to fame of Pendragon Senior had passed him by.

Kil laughed.  “Oh yes, I know him.  We’re old...acquaintances you might say.”  When he didn’t elaborate Arthur decided not to press it.  He wasn’t sure how he felt about that connection. 

“How was your flight?”  Polite enquiries about travel, how very English of him.  Arthur hated small talk.

“Long,” came the reply with a twinkle.  “Now Arthur, tell me your intentions towards my Grandson.  I’m fine about you being a man  _and_  much older so don’t worry about that; I just want to know that you won’t hurt my boy.”

Arthur felt the colour drench from his face.  He was tempted to look have a poke around to look for hidden cameras.  “My intentions Mr Emrys...” Total honesty could be the only way past this.  “...I’ve never met anyone like him, I want to be with him 24/7, take care of him, keep him safe and love him.  We belong together.”

“Hmmm, I don’t doubt that you do,” said the older man musingly, not seeming at all put out by Arthur’s sugary sentiments, in fact Arthur thought he looked quite pleased about it.  “What do you do for a living?”

Well, this was going to be the worst kept secret in history.  “At the moment, I teach,” he stuck with the honesty; if Merlin was in his life then so was his grandfather and he couldn’t get off on the wrong foot with him by lying.  “Though I wouldn’t technically say I do it for a living as I’m not actually getting paid.  My ‘normal’ job is writing; I’m just taking a break for a few months to help out my step-sister.”  What was it about this man that made him want to tell him his life story?

Merlin chose that moment to back into the room, opening the door with his backside as he carried a tray with three mugs of tea into the room, handing one out to his grandfather and another to Arthur who immediately placed it on the floor near his feet.

“So Merlin, Arthur’s your  _teacher_?”

Merlin blushed redder than the mug he was about take a sip out of and shot a flustered apologetic look at Arthur.  “Er -”

Arthur wished he could bang his head against the nearest wall.  “Mr Emrys I -”  Was he _laughing_  at them? 

“Oh dear, you should see your faces!” he wiped a tear from the corner of his eye as he collected himself.  “I’m OK with it.  I get why all the secrecy now Merlin – but you still should have told me.  I’m the cool grandpa remember?”

“How could I forget?” groaned Merlin, suppressing a grin.

Arthur watched Kil interact with Merlin and decided he liked him; Merlin clearly adored him. He couldn’t help wonder though: was this guy for real?

*

Merlin left an hour later with his grandfather in tow, not worrying about kissing him goodbye in front of an audience of one.  After an hour in the older man’s company, Arthur had seemed to relax and realise that his gramps  _really_  didn’t mind their circumstances.  Merlin had hoped for such understanding, but he hadn’t completely expected it.

During their drive home, Grandpa pulled over near the Valley of the Rocks and the two of them went for a short walk, finding a bench with a clear view of the sea; Grandpa proceeded to fill in some gaps starting with Merlin losing control of his magic quite frequently of late.

“So do you think that branch hitting me was the magic?  Arthur told me he reacted badly when I first said I was magic...I might have lost it.”

“It does sound likely, as I understand from Hunith that it was a clear day, no wind at all.  She seems to think your moods have been controlling the weather around here somewhat.”

Merlin huffed, “ _What_?  I can change the weather?”

“Apparently so.  It seems to link to your more extreme moods; neither your father nor I ever had that kind of power.”  That was new; and somewhat scary.  A lot seemed to have changed in the couple of months before he lost his memory. 

Merlin wasn’t quite sure what to say that wasn’t a Jedi joke.

“I really liked Arthur,” Grandpa broke the silence.

Merlin felt some of the tenseness he had been feeling abate.  “Yeah me too,” he joked lamely.

“In fact, I’m utterly  _fascinated_...” he watched Merlin closely as he spoke and Merlin stared right back at him with a raised eyebrow.  Fascinated by what?  “...that even though you’ve got some memory loss you still recognised him as your soulmate.”

“Are you going to explain this soulmate thing, because this is the second time you’ve mentioned it today and I know you love being all cryptic and all, but I need to know!”

“When you first told me about Arthur, you won’t remember this right now obviously, I told you that he was ‘significant’ and to keep fighting for him.”  He put his arm around Merlin’s shoulders, reminding Merlin of when he was a little boy spending weekends together watching stargazing.  “Are you sure you’re ready to hear this?”

“Spill it, old man.”

Kil chuckled.  “Your magic is an innate part of you Merlin; it recognises your soulmate or your one true love, destiny...however you want to word it.”

“So you’re saying Arthur’s my  _destiny_?”  Merlin liked the sound of  _that_.

“From what you’ve been telling me, it sounds that way...why else would I not have screamed blue murder at him when I found out he’s your teacher?” he regarded his grandson earnestly; it was one thing to fall in love, and another to accept the inevitability of it.

“It sounds like we don’t have a  _choice_ ; I want Arthur to love me because he wants to not because -”

“I had similar concerns when my father explained it to me, but Merlin,  _everyone_ has a soulmate; nature ensures they come into contact with each other, but man has lost his innate ability to listen to his intuition, in the same way he no longer listens to the changing of the seasons.  Our magic makes us different; it helps us recognise the one person who can make us truly happy.”

Merlin was torn, “So I don’t really love Arthur?”  Even as he said it his instincts recoiled.

“You  _do_  love him, what you feel is real.  I felt like this with your grandmother, your father did for your Mum; the magic is just helping you out.”  Kil had been happily married to Cathryn for thirty years without one single days regret.  “I debated whether to tell you this Merlin, for this very reason.  You shouldn’t question it.”

“ _What if your soulmate doesn’t love you back_?”

“They still have free will Merlin; they don’t have to accept you...sometimes fate can be cruel and circumstances are such that being together is impossible; or maybe they don’t realise what they are feeling.”  He squeezed Merlin to him.  “You’re one of the lucky ones, you’ve found him.”

“Oh heck,” sighed Merlin.  “I think I’ve totally missed the point when I told Arthur I had magical powers; moving things with my mind is a lot different from destinies, soulmates, weather anomalies and invisible forces...”

“Not so much.  Now, let’s get you home to your Mum before she reports us missing.  I’ve got a few techniques I want to teach you about controlling your magic now it’s growing more powerful.”

*

Arthur was sitting on the balcony with a cup of coffee when Lance came home in the early afternoon.  It was quite mild for early November and Arthur wanted to make the most of the daylight now that the nights were setting in.

“You look happier,” Lance commented, hovering in the doorway, beaming from ear to ear.

“I’m not the only one.  What’s put that huge smile on your face?  Or should I ask who?” Arthur watched Lance closely as he often held his cards very close to his chest and was pleased to note he flushed slightly under his tan.  “Who is he?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” said Lance with a shrug.  “I’ve merely had a good day at work.”

“Sure, whatever you say,” Arthur teased before soberly adding, “You deserve to meet someone who can make you smile like that.”

“Arthur, you’re being a  _girl_ again,” he countered.  “If you  _must_  know, I do have a date tonight.”

Arthur opened his mouth to ask Lance who his date was with, Lance held up a hand, “Don’t bother asking who with; I’d like to maintain  _some_  privacy before you and Merlin jump all over it.”  Arthur closed his mouth and sighed in disappointment.

“Do I know him?”

“Arthur!”

“OK, OK, just trying to show that I care.”

“I already know that you prat.”

*

Lance gave Arthur strict instructions not to answer the doorbell or nose over the balcony when his date came to collect him that evening.  He tried to distract himself, quite successfully too, with a rather fast and furious mutual wank over the webcam with Merlin; Merlin only taking the time to push his skinny jeans to the top of his thighs rather than getting naked, offering his naked arse to the camera as he watched Arthur pleasure himself through his open legs, wanking himself hard before flipping himself over so Arthur could see him come.

Arthur was very glad he’d mentioned that this was one of their favourite activities on evenings they were apart.

At seven-thirty sharp the doorbell went, and Arthur was pottering about in the kitchen looking for something to have for dinner; another distraction tactic lest he give in to his desire to see who Lance was going on a date with.  He felt an almost brotherly desire to approve of this person; make sure they were good enough for someone as great as Lance.

He was surprised to hear footsteps on the stairs and Lance calling his name.  Maybe he’d decided to introduce his mystery date to Arthur after all?

Drying his hands on a tea towel he pushed the door open with a welcoming grin, ready to give the man a quick top to toe appraisal before Lance noticed.  The smile fell off his face when he saw who Lance was standing next to the window with, showing off the view.

Arthur felt his barriers coming down and his arms instantly crossing over his chest.

The man turned away from the view to greet him, “Hello Arthur, it’s been a long time.”

“Hello father,” he replied coldly.

*


	15. Extra Tuition

“Merlin, come in and take a seat,” Morgana smiled pleasantly at Merlin as he hovered nervously in the doorway and gestured at the chair in front of her desk.  Suppressing a sigh he inched away from the door and gingerly sat down, offering her his best polite smile.

“What’s this about?” He’d been summoned to her office on this morning, his first day back at school since his accident, which was a week after half term.

“Nothing to worry about Merlin; I just wanted to see how you are after the accident, and to offer support in any way that we can.”  She shuffled some papers around on her desk as if looking for something specific.  “Ah, yes, here we are,” she scanned whatever it was written on the paper and sighed.

Merlin waited.  She hadn’t  _actually_  asked how he was so he couldn’t just pipe up with a report on his health.  He began to fidget in his seat; there were more important things he could be doing on his first day back at school, such as getting Arthur alone in his office, or getting Arthur alone anywhere...

“You’ve been offered university places at Oxford, Durham, Cambridge and...”  More shuffling. “...Aberystwyth?  You could have taken one of those places up this year Merlin, based on the A Levels you took last year -” She frowned and focussed her dark blue eyes on him for the first time since he entered the office.  “Merlin, you have four A Levels already and more than enough UCAS points, why are you wasting your time taking more?”

Merlin had sat full A Levels last year instead of AS, and had gotten an A in Maths A Level when he was fifteen.  “I didn’t think I was wasting my time, I thought a person could never get enough education.”  Not the real reason he was still here but she didn’t have to know that.

Morgana was shaking her head.  “I should have looked at the student records more closely,” she seemed to be saying to herself.  “Merlin, I only took over as head this year and before that I wasn’t involved in teaching you directly as I would have stepped in sooner.”

“I don’t understand what you are trying to say to me.”

She laughed, “I suppose I am being a little vague.  I don’t think you need to be here Merlin. If you wanted to wait the extra year before going to uni for whatever reason, I feel your time would be better spent doing some voluntary work and gaining experience of the real world. You don’t need more A Levels – by the looks of your file the universities are beating a path to _your_  door, and these places are guaranteed as your results are already in.”

“You want me to leave school?”  Merlin thought he might bite her hand off if school wasn’t where Arthur was.  

“That’s not what I’m saying, we are happy to have you; you make our stats look good!  I’m simply suggesting that there may be an alternative for you; you don’t  _need_  to be taking more A Levels.”  She looked at him expectantly and suddenly seemed to remember her alleged original reason for inviting him in, “How are you feeling anyway Merlin?  You gave us all quite a shock.”

It had only just occurred to Merlin that his memory loss - which was annoying him more and with each passing day, because he  _knew_  there was something important he was supposed to do and he couldn’t for the life of him remember what it was – was going to be a barrier when it came to his school work, as he wouldn’t remember what he had been studying!  “Er, I’m fine thanks.  About this volunteering – can I think about what I want to do and let you know? You’ve opened up a few things and I need to talk to -”

“Of course Merlin, speak to your Mum and your Uncle,” she was already dismissing.  “There’s some Government funding for youth volunteering that we might be able to help you access. Once you’ve decided what you want to do, come and see me, my door is always open.”

“Right.  Erm, thanks.”  He stood up and flashing her a quick smile he left the room, his mind whirring with possibilities.  It  _had_  occurred to him that he didn’t really need to be here anymore and that a year out would have been perfect...but there was little employment in the area, and whilst he was still at school his Mum got child benefit for him, which really helped her – if he’d quit school and done volunteering locally she wouldn’t get a penny but would still have to keep him and that wasn’t fair.  All the overseas volunteering had been for the over 18s.  Now though, faced with his memory loss...  He had a lot to think about and it was Arthur he wanted to talk to about it in the first instance.

It had been a difficult week for their relationship, with fathers and grandfathers impeding their time together.  The webcam had been working on over time, but none of that made up for actually being together.

Merlin headed down the corridor intending to skip the rest of his first class and then find Arthur at break; Arthur always had a free period after break on a Monday morning.  He was jerked out of his reverie by the sight of his boyfriend storming in his direction, following by a tottering Vivian who was struggling to keep up due to her ridiculously high heels.

“Mr Pendragon,” she huffed from behind him.  “Is this really necessary?”

“Yes Vivian, it is,” Arthur noticed Merlin then, his face breaking out in a huge smile when he saw him, and he winked.  Merlin blushed.  Arthur’s face dropped again as he paused for her to catch up, nodding formally at Merlin as he passed for the girls benefit.  “Now come  _on_ , I haven’t got all day.  I have an important meeting shortly.”

Merlin knew that he was the important meeting, and for a moment his knees went weak beneath him as he allowed himself to fast forward to him getting his hands on Arthur.  He carried on down the corridor and let himself into his office, leaning back on the door as it shut behind him with a silly grin on his face.

“Where – the – fuck – have – you - been?”  Will was sitting behind his desk, arms crossed, glaring at Merlin.  “You promised to meet me here before class.”  He made a dramatic show of looking at his watch before returning his angry gaze at Merlin.

Merlin sighed and tried not to grimace.  Will had been, quite honestly, acting like a total fuckwit lately and Merlin was getting tired of it.  He’d confided in his friend about his memory loss, and since then he’d been really clingy and, dare Merlin say it, slightly possessive.  The worry was Merlin didn’t know if Will had been acting this way  _before_  he got hit on the head.

“I was in with the headmistress – sorry.  Why didn’t you go to class?”

“I wanted to wait for you.”

“Well, I’m here now.  How about you tell me what’s up with you – you’re being a bit...weird.” Merlin inwardly cringed at his own choice of word, but he honestly couldn’t think of anything better to sum up Will’s recent peculiarities.  Will had been his best friend since forever and he’d always felt totally relaxed in his company until this past couple of weeks.

Will stood up and went to stare out of the window and Merlin noticed for the first time how perfectly styled his hair was, and how well tailored his school uniform was – old Will was a little dishevelled.  When had this change occurred?  Merlin stretched back into his most recent pre head injury memories and could only find scruffy Will.

“You be acting weird as well if you’re..,” he sighed dramatically and turned to face Merlin, his brown eyes flashing fire.  “Don’t you remember  _anything_  from the last couple of months Merlin?”

“ _Nothing_  Will.  What’s this about?  You can talk to me,” he took a couple of tentative steps towards his friend, regretting it instantly when Will grabbed his arm and hauled him closer, their chests almost touching as he looked down at him.  Will grinned and bent his head, kissing Merlin square on the lips.  Gripping him tightly by the arms he attempted to gain access to Merlin’s frozen mouth, at which point Merlin got over his shock and managed to shove Will backwards.  “What the  _hell_  - Will?”  He moved himself quickly to the far side of the tiny office to put as much space between them as possible, his heart racing in his chest as he struggled to tamp down his magic’s reaction to the assault.  Thank God for Grandpa’s Magic 101 classes over the last week; he was finally in control.

“Merlin, we’re  _together_ ,” Will said, his pleading eyes fixed on Merlin’s face.  “Why can’t you remember?”

“I –  _What?_ ”  Every instinct screamed that this was bullshit.  He was with  _Arthur_.  There was no way - even if he was attracted to Will, which he  _wasn’t_  – that he would have been seeing Will romantically as well as Arthur.   _Was there?_   “I don’t think...no, you’re lying.”

Will’s eyes flashed and he prowled closer.  “Why would I lie about something like this?  I love you Merlin.”

Merlin’s heart sank.  This really could not be happening.  Will was his friend that was all.  He shook his head.  “I don’t feel that was about you, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you remember all those times we met in here?  I would bend you over that desk and -”

“No!  That  _never happened_. Stop this Will, please.”  Merlin pressed himself back against the wall and attempted to sidle towards the door.  Will inched closer.  Closing his eyes briefly Merlin knew he could throw Will off with a mere thought – he’d learnt  _a lot_  under Grandpa’s tutelage this last week – but he didn’t want to physically hurt him.  What was  _wrong_  with his friend?  It was like he as possessed.  He knew none of this was true, deep down in the depths of his mind...he remembered how he’d  _known_  he belonged to Arthur.  Similarly he  _knew_  he had never had any kind of sexual relationship with Will.

Merlin blinked and that seemed to be all the time Will needed to press his advantage, flying at Merlin, knocking his head back against the wall in his vigour, attaching his lips to Merlin’s, gripping him tightly so that Merlin couldn’t move his arms. 

Merlin’s head thrummed with pain, momentarily confusing him, delaying his attempt to wriggle free.  Will’s mouth was on his again, and Merlin wanted to gag, his magic rearing up in protest at someone who wasn’t Arthur touching him this way.

He began to fight, trying to push Will off him using his own strength, but he was still weaker than normal following his time in hospital and Will was a lot bigger than him,  _magic might be the only way out of this_ , and as Will pushed closer, Merlin felt his erection against his thigh, and Will was muttering, “Oh God  _Merlin_ ,” and all Merlin wanted to do was cry because this was his best friend, who apparently had some kind of hidden agenda and-  A choked sob escaped him as he struggled against the stronger form of the boy he thought was his friend, and he tried to think of a way to throw him off using his magic without hurting him, but Will’s hand was in his hair, yanking his head back and nipping his neck with sloppy unwanted kisses, and his head  _hurt_...

Merlin was just about to release what he hoped would be a magical force field that would send Will flying when instead Will was forcibly yanked back by a very angry Arthur, who connected his fist with jaw.  Will stumbled back and hit the wall, sliding to the floor clutching his hand over the spot Arthur had punched him, dazed.

Arthur’s arms wrapped around Merlin as he pulled him to him, “It’s alright,” he said gently, his hand stroking Merlin’s hair.  “I’m here.”  Merlin sobbed onto Arthur’s shoulder, shaking with shock.  He really had not seen that coming. 

“I fucking  _knew_  it,” rasped Will as he struggled to get to his feet.  “I knew you were screwing him.  All those times Merlin, when you wanted me to cover for you but wouldn’t tell me why; pretending to stay at mine when you were with  _him_...”

Arthur released his hold on Merlin and squared up to Will with a snarl. 

Merlin’s pounding head released a memory - that anonymous email threatening to expose their relationship if Arthur didn’t stop seeing him, Merlin had thought that must be from _Mordred_.  Oh –  _oh_  – the bloody email!  Another bang to the head and the last two months had found their way back into Merlin’s head.  He sighed with relief, and as if he had ever doubted it, there was no memory in there of him and Will doing anything other than playing Mario Kart or watching DVDs. 

“You sent that email!” he accused.  “You tried to blackmail -”  Merlin had deleted it from Arthur’s account after sending a reply from another fake email address, one with an extra dot in it, hoping the blackmailer wouldn’t notice, the reply had been simple – a fake ‘out of office’ so that if he tried Arthur again he would reply back to that.  Had there been any replies? Merlin didn’t know because he had fucking well  _forgotten_  that he had done it, and he had planned to tell Arthur but he hadn’t wanted to worry him and events overtook him...and here they were.

“I gave up on that,” Will countered.  “Dropping  _him_  in it like that would get you in the shit too and I wouldn’t do that.  I love  _you_.”

Arthur was silent.  Merlin could see him fighting an inner battle.  They were done for now weren’t they?  Arthur had just punched a student!

“I don’t understand,” whispered Merlin, rubbing the back of his head to ease the ache.  “Why did you never say anything?  Why did you say all that stuff about us being together just now?”

Will snorted.  “I’ve been crazy about you since we were fourteen!  You never noticed me and I thought you were straight.  I’ve tried everything to get your attention; you finally decide that you do like boys – and you do your experimenting with Mordred!”

“Will I -” Merlin had had no idea that Will was even gay, let alone in bloody love with him. Obsessed would be a better description.

“And then,” Will spat, shooting a poisonous glare at Arthur.  “You take up with this  _wanker_ and use  _me_  as your fucking alibi!”

“That’s enough,” said Arthur in his most authoritative teacher voice and Merlin hoped that he was the only one who detected the slight shake as he spoke.  “You claim to love Merlin yet you have no qualms about physically attacking him?  I hate to tell you this Will, but that’s not love.”

Will eyed Arthur with undiluted hatred.  “What the hell would you know?  You don’t know Merlin like I do.  You rock up here and charm him into your bed with your big blue eyes and – and – your  _buffness_...you’re just using him!”  He switched his gaze to Merlin and it softened considerably.  “Merlin, I know you think you want him now but -”

Merlin wanted to reply, to tell Will he wanted Arthur now, and always, but his head was spinning, and all he wanted to do was sit down; and the relief when Arthur’s strong arms guided him to the chair was off the chart.

“Merlin are you OK?” Will started towards him, and Merlin recoiled.  Arthur moved protectively between them, and even in his slightly spaced out state Merlin found that hot.

“Does he look OK?” growled Arthur.  “I think it’s time you left.”  He looked pointedly at Will.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do  _Sir_ ,” gloated Will, lifting his hand and counting off Arthur’s alleged crimes.  “Number one, shagging a student, two, punching a student, three, threatening a student, four...well I’m sure something will come to mind.”

“Fine,” said Arthur.  “Let’s go to the headmistress now and see what she has to say about  _you_ attempting to rape a student.  Coming Merlin?”

Merlin went cold.  Arthur couldn’t do this; he’d be laying everything – his reputation - on the line.  There was no way Merlin was going to let this happen.  No way never. 

“Will -” he began, hoping to appeal to his saner old friend that was buried under the newly revealed crazy one. 

“There’s no need for that,” interrupted Will.  “I won’t be telling the headmistress about you and Merlin because it would involve  _Merlin_  in the scandal and he doesn’t deserve that.”  Will looked at Merlin in a way that could be described as lovingly but Merlin found calculating and quite creepy.  Where  _had_  his friend gone?

“I think I need to go home and rest,” said Merlin, trying to break the tension with a truth.  “Mr Pendragon, can you drop me back?”  He willed Arthur to back away before Will could change his mind about what he was going to do and what he thought he knew.  OK, so he was right in his assumptions, but he had no proof, it was all just heated words.

“Of course Merlin,” replied Arthur pleasantly, before turning to Will for the final word.  “If you so much as lay a finger on Merlin again, I’ll break every fucking bone in your body.”

Merlin suppressed a groan; Arthur might not be admitting a relationship with him directly, but neither was he behaving professionally either.

“What?” said Arthur innocently as Merlin glared to him on the way to the car park.  “He’d already accused me of threatening him; I didn’t want to make him a liar.”

*

Arthur dropped Merlin home and made sure he was comfortable; resisted the temptation to ravish him because he would certainly be taking advantage if he did, before calling Dr Ginger and telling him Merlin seemed to be getting his memory back.  Dr Ginger promised to drop in on Merlin on his way home that evening as he had to pass by anyway.  Arthur then went to the hotel reception and had them page Hunith to update her. 

They had planned to stick to the truth as much as possible – that Merlin had had a fight with Will and bumped his head.

Arthur then went back to school in time to grab a cup of tea before the end of the lunch break, his mind now made up about what he had to do.  He couldn’t go on like this.  It wasn’t fair on him or Merlin.  Strangely enough it was his  _father_  who had helped him realise what was required.

He quietly entered the staffroom, hoping it would be empty as he was in no mood for small talk, but his luck was out.  Mrs Henson, Miss Rathbone and Mrs Phipps stopped their chattering as he walked in, silently watching him as he ignored them for the gossips they were, his dislike of them evidenced by the fact that he didn’t even refer to them by their Christian names in his head.

“Is it true?”  Mrs Phipps almost whined.

It took a minute for Arthur to realise the question was directed at him.  “Is what true?”  He didn’t bother to turn to look at them as he concentrated on finding a clean cup to make his tea in.

“That you’ve been giving extra  _tuition_  to one of the year 13s?” Arthur recognised Miss Rathbone’s cockney accent.  Sighing he deigned to turn around and face his accusers.

“What are you implying Miss Rathbone?”  Even though Arthur knew full well what he was being accused of, he wasn’t going to make it easy for them.  He wanted them to spell it out.

Miss Rathbone took a deep breath and puffed out her already ample chest, “You -”

The staff room door opened and Morgana appeared, “Ah Arthur – there you are.  A word in my office please.”

The three witches grinned like Cheshire cats, and Arthur, giving up all hope of that cuppa, followed Morgana back to her office to face the firing squad.  
  
*


	16. Yellow Pages

“So it’s all settled then,” Morgana sighed, watching Arthur with concern.  “You leave on Friday.  Are you sure, because all these rumours can be quashed, I hate to lose you, the kids like you and despite what you believe you’re good at this.”

“I’m sure,” Arthur was determined.  He’d been thinking about this for a while, and now the rumour mill had started, well, it was time to get out of here.  He should never have taken the job in the first place; he may be better at it than he’d anticipated but it was becoming a chore.

“What the bloody hell did Uther say to you when he made his dramatic appearance the other week?  You haven’t been the same since then.”

“Father helped me realise what I really wanted; who knew he’d had such a personality transplant in the years since I last saw him?  He’s apparently pleased that I am following my own path...  I tested him out by telling him that I’m gay and he actually seemed pleased and immediately started talking about the good looking son of some business associate or other – the point is, he didn’t disown me, he actually seems to want a relationship with me on equal terms – but you knew that didn’t you?”

“I knew he was desperate to have you back in his life.  I’ve been telling you this for years!” Morgana took the opportunity to throw Arthur and ‘I told you so’.

“I know.  I’m sorry I buried my head in the sand,” Arthur laughed as he thought back to Uther’s visit.  “Did I tell you when he turned up the other week Lance was waiting for a date with a new fella and for a moment there I thought Father  _was_  the date.  Imagine that!”  He shuddered dramatically.

Morgana laughed with him before something dawned on her, “I thought Lance was with Merlin now?  Is that over already?”

Ah.  Now would really be the time to tell the truth.  All these rumours, all the fuss about him and a student were completely unfounded - when in regard to him and Vivian as these were – Vivian, who had been waiting for Arthur this morning, spread out on his desk in her underwear.  Vivian, who had apparently told half the school she was having it away with Mr Pendragon.

He was leaving anyway; coming clean it was the right thing to do.  His muse was calling him, he wanted to write again.  His relationship with Merlin need no longer be clandestine; if he left now they could ‘get together’ after a suitable time had elapsed,  _after_  Merlin’s eighteenth birthday of course. 

Opening his mouth to allow the confession to flow free Arthur had an attack of conscience. Telling Morgana now, whilst still under he employ, would put her in a delicate position.  It could wait until the weekend.  It was going to have to.  Instead, he said, “Count me in for leaving drinks on Friday; I’ve got something I need to talk to you about.”  There, hopefully that changed the subject without raising suspicion.

“You can talk to me now Arthur, you know that.”

“Actually, I’m late for my class.  They’ll be running riot.”  He stood up then, and on impulse, moved round the desk and pulled Morgana into a bear hug, before offering her a resolved smile and leaving her to ring round the supply agencies for his replacement.

He’d offered to fund the cost of a new teacher, the money was small change to him; he’d been doing it for free after all, and that was what had been keeping him here.  Paying for the replacement and not dropping Morgana in the shit was the right thing to do; it wasn’t her fault the school had been left in a financial pickle, nor was it down to her that her step brother had taken it upon himself to fall in love with one of her students.

The Vivian thing had only really brought home the risks he was taking with Merlin; the sooner he left the better. 

Arriving ten minutes late for year 10 English he was pleased to see they were behaving; Ewan was covering.  He greeted Arthur with a rueful grin, showing him a note he’d written in preparation for his arrival:  _Don’t let Olaf get you down, I’ll back you up if it gets nasty._   Arthur smiled and nodded, neither of them wanting to draw attention to this topic in front of the class.  Ewan left and Arthur turned to greet the pupils.

“Sir,” began Colin James, the class trouble maker.  “A little bird tells us that you had a double serving of muffins for breakfast.”  The class tittered.  Arthur rolled his eyes.

“The little bird is incorrect Colin.  I was offered the muffins but I turned them down.” 

It was going to be a long week.

*

“Mr Pendragon called to ask how you were Merlin.  I told him you were sleeping but that the doc says you’ll be fine tomorrow.”  Merlin eyed his Mum as she stood in his doorway almost resentfully; she got to talk to Arthur but he didn’t?  No fair.  His hand began to twitch with the need to check his phone for messages, but he managed to resist and offer his Mum a beaming smile.

“Thanks Mum.  What’s for dinner?”

Hunith perched on the side of Merlin’s bed and ruffled his hair, making him feel five years old again.  “There you go, worrying me half to death, and then all you want to know is what’s on the menu?”  Her smile turned to a frown, “Merlin, what happened with Will?”

Merlin’s smile faltered to match his mother’s.  “Nothing.  Just a misunderstanding that’s all.” No point worrying her about Will trying to force his attentions on him.  He  _was_ worried though, worried about Will’s mental health;  _where had all of that come from_?

“Well, if he  _misunderstands_  you like that again he’s gonna have me to answer to.”  She kissed Merlin’s forehead and headed for the door.  “Veggie sausages and mash do you?”

Merlin nodded, “Thanks Mum.”  She closed the door behind her and Merlin dived for his phone which was on the chair at the end of the bed.

10 messages:

Arthur: Call me later.  Love you.

Gwen: WTF happened with Will?

Freya: M RU OK? X Frey

Mordred: What’d Will do? Call me if u need anythin. M

Arthur:  Miss you

Gwen: UR woryin me now!  U there?

Lance: Want me to beat him up for u?

Will: M I’m sory.

Will: M pls ansa

Will: Am comin ova

Merlin groaned and checked the time on the last message from Will.  Five minutes ago. Sighing, Merlin pressed ‘call’ and rang Will.

“Hello its Merlin.  No.  No!  Look, I don’t want to see you, and my Mum’ll lynch you.  No – told her we had a fight...I’m sure you  _are_  sorry but what do you want from me after what you did?”  Merlin bit his lip and listened to the tirade of Arthur centred abuse flying down the phone line at him.  “You did what?   _Vivian_?  How much?  Will why would you do that?  OK, OK, yes, half 8.  Bye.”

Merlin hung up and threw the phone onto the bed in frustration having just agreed to meet Will in the hotel garden later to ‘talk’.  The stupid fucker had only gone and paid Vivian Olaf to try it on with Arthur and then spread it around they were on together.  According to Will, he wanted Arthur punished for his ‘crime’ but without involving Merlin as the ‘victim’. 

Deciding to hit the shower before calling Arthur, Merlin ambled into the bathroom, racking his newly recovered memories for signs that Will’s behaviour had not just come out of the blue, that there were some signs there.  Even if Will did feel the way he claimed to about him; the way he had behaved was so out of character.  He’d been so  _angry_.

He wasn’t looking forward to this confrontation later in the slightest.

*

Arthur was sharing a pizza with Lance when Merlin called.  Happy to hear his voice and know directly that he was OK; Arthur agreed to meet Merlin at lunch time the following day.  He was going to have to tell Merlin he was quitting, and they would have to talk about what that meant for them; over the phone was not the best way to do it, and he was conscious that Merlin needed his rest this evening.  When the call ended Arthur turned back to Lance with a wide grin plastered on his face.

“Merlin’s doing OK then?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.  “As if I need to ask!”

“Mmmmhmm.”  Arthur’s mind was running over what had happened that morning for the millionth time.  “God Lance, I dread to think what would have happened if I hadn’t arrived when I did.  I want to rip that fucking Will limb from limb for so much as touching him -”

Lance sighed and nodded, “I feel the same Arthur, and I wasn’t even there.  Merlin – well, he’s become a good friend of mine.  I hear that he – this Will – has been telling his other friends that Merlin came on to  _him_.”

Arthur saw red.  “He WHAT?”  He stood up and began to pace, fighting the urge to leap onto his bike to track Will down and rip his head off.

“Arthur – calm down.  None of them believe him.  There’s some talk of Will abusing drugs, hence the personality change.”

“Drugs?”  A vision appeared in Arthur’s head of a heroin addict slumped in an alley with a dead look in his eye and a needle sticking out of his arm; the image most likely the result of a drugs awareness campaign in his younger years.  “Wait – how do you know all this?   _Lance_  - who’s the mystery boyfriend?”

Lance blushed. 

“Lance?  Come on, what’s the big secret?”

“Mordred.  I’m seeing Mordred.”  He smiled, his eyes lighting up with happiness.  “We kind of got talking when Merlin was in hospital...he’s a pushy sort when he knows what he wants...”

“Didn’t he buy into the whole you dating Merlin thing?”

“Nah, well, I made sure he never heard about that.”

“ _Mordred_...” pondered Arthur.  “Well, he’s certainly striking.”  Also slightly creepy looking, but Arthur wasn’t going to say that to Lance who was clearly smitten, and perhaps liked that look. Arthur decided to re-label ‘creepy looking’ to ‘intense’, that fitted better and was more respectful of Lance’s feelings.

“He’s gorgeous,” said Lance wistfully.

“And he told you this, about Will I mean?”

“Yep, apparently Will has been smoking the wicked weed far too much to be healthy.”

Arthur snorted, “That’s no bloody excuse for going around trying to force yourself on people. In his case, forcing himself on his  _best friend_.”

“Either way Arthur, if it’s true he’s got a problem with drugs, as his teacher you should probably address it somehow.”

Great.  There was no way he was going anywhere near that dickhead lest he give in to his desire to knock his block off.  “I’ll have a word with pastoral care; there’s no way I’m going there.”

“Fair enough.  Now, are you going to have this last slice of pizza or what?”

“You can have it, and then you can tell me all about you and Mordred.  What great examples we are eh?  Both of us in relationships with teenagers!”

“True, but at least there’s less than ten years between me and Mordred; you’re  _how much older_  than Merlin?”  Lance’s eyes sparkled with mischief.  “And  _my_  teenager taught  _yours_  all he knows.”

Arthur’s green eyed monster roared, but then relaxed when it acknowledged that he no longer needed to be jealous of Mordred; Lance had effectively taken him out of the equation.  Once that was established, Arthur began to feel happy for Lance for having met someone, for heaven only knew he deserved some good luck and happiness.

“That reminds me, Morgana knows you’re not with Merlin, though she still thinks you were at one point.  I’m telling her  _everything_  on Friday...once I am no longer a member of teaching staff.”  He knew he had to do it but he wasn’t looking forward to it.

“Thank heaven for that.”

*

When morning came Merlin felt perfectly rejuvenated.  He’d had a heavy night, but somehow he’d come out of it with everything sorted.  Decisions had been made and problems evaporated.

His meeting with Will the previous evening had turned into an actual full on intervention. Merlin had called Mordred, Freya and Gwen and had been hurt to hear that Will had told them that  _he’d_  made a move on  _Will_ and not vice versa...and was touched when none of them had believed him, and apparently they had all known Will had a thing for Merlin for a while. 

Merlin wished someone had told him, but then again, if he’d had a mammoth crush on someone who didn’t feel the same way, he didn’t know if he’d want them to find out either so it was understandable that he was the only one in the dark.

The three of them had come over before Merlin was due to meet Will and it had come out, from Mordred who knew a bloke who knew a bloke who Will apparently spent rather a lot of money on skunk with.

Merlin had felt like the world’s worst friend, he’d had no idea Will was smoking so much of the stuff.  Sure, Will occasionally lit one up when Merlin was round playing Wii, but Merlin had not realised that Will was having it for breakfast, dinner  _and_  tea...he’s been too tied up in Arthur to pay attention to his friends lately.

So they’d gone to meet him together; it had very nearly gone badly.  Will had flipped out in a paranoid rage;  _they were all out to get him_.  Once he had calmed down it came out how he had started smoking copious amounts of dope when he’d realised that Merlin was seeing someone else – that after it had ended with Mordred he had been biding his time waiting for Merlin to be ready, only to find he was more than ready and was seeing someone else. 

Cue a barrage of questions over who Merlin was seeing.  Merlin deflected them; saying that now wasn’t the time and that they would find out soon enough.  Will kept his mouth shut about Arthur; apparently he  _was_  totally sincere in his affections and concerns, not wanting Merlin to get dragged into a scandal. 

Will agreed to seek help with stopping the drugs.  Apparently he had tried, but that was when the anger took over as he withdrew.  He claimed that was why he’d tried to kiss Merlin and ended up losing his temper; and he was truly sorry.

For Merlin, that had to be enough, although he wasn’t sure he could ever be friends with Will again after what had happened, and he certainly had no plans to  _ever_  be alone with him.  He could only hope that the headmistress would see through Vivian’s claims on Arthur’s affections.  The only person who could love  _that_  girl was her mother.

Once he’d got back home that night, to a mouthful from his Mum about sneaking out when he was still recovering, he’d sat her down and had a conversation about quitting school and doing some volunteering as the headmistress had suggested, expecting her to argue against it.  She wasn’t worried about the child benefit; since Gaius had moved in she no longer had money worries, and of course Merlin should do what he felt was best, she trusted his judgement.

Merlin had made a mental vow never to make assumptions again.

He almost ran to his office to meet Arthur at lunch time.  Arthur, who Merlin had had a key cut for some weeks back, was waiting inside, blinds drawn.  Merlin closed and locked the door behind him and was in Arthur’s arms in a heartbeat.  “Thank you,” he said, his nose in Arthur’s hair inhaling the unique scent of him.

“What for?”  Arthur pulled him closer.

“For saving me yesterday.  For being patient with me when I forgot everything...I remember it _all_  now.”

“You don’t have to thank me; it’s my job as your boyfriend to look after you.”

They relaxed into a comfortable silence then, wrapped in one another’s arms.

“Merlin I need to talk to you-” 

“I’m leaving school-”

Arthur laughed as they both tried to speak at the same time, pulling back and looking directly at each other, before realising what Merlin had said.  “You’re  _what_?  Merlin you can’t-”

“Turns out I can.  For all my academic achievements to date, I was apparently too thick to realise I don’t really need to be here this year.  So I’ve decided I’m not going to be...then we can be together and no laws broken.”  Merlin felt quite satisfied with his decision.  The rest of his life began today. 

Arthur looked perplexed.  “Some teacher you are,” huffed Merlin.  “Not even checking your pupils’ records to see what they’ve already achieved.”  He proceeded to explain to Arthur what Morgana had told him yesterday.

A grin the Cheshire cat grin appeared on Arthur’s face.  “This is perfect.  I’m leaving too – on Friday - that’s what I was about to tell you.”

Merlin’s face fell and his heart fell into his boots.  “Leaving?” he whispered.  “Where are you going?”  Arthur was leaving here?  Leaving him behind?

“I wasn’t planning on going anywhere, Lance is happy to have me – I was going to hang around this one horse town waiting for you to finish school.  I figured we could lie low until a couple of months have passed and then get together publicly.”

Now he felt like an idiot.  “Oh.”  It was Merlin’s turn to smile like a lunatic.  “So we’ve got until Friday to break some rules -  _oh fuck_  - are you leaving because of the Vivian thing cos Will told me he set that up to get you fired.”

Arthur kicked the desk.  “That bloody  _wanker_.  When did he tell you this?  Have you  _seen_  him since he fucking  _attacked_  you?”  He grabbed Merlin’s chin and forced his eyes to meet his.

Merlin pulled back, “I saw him last night – with three other people.  He wasn’t himself yesterday, he’s been -”

“I know about the drugs Merlin.”

“Who told you?”  Merlin was glad he wasn’t going to have to explain all of that to Arthur.

“Lance.  Did you know he and Mordred are an item now?”

“No way!”  Mordred and Lance?  They certainly made a stunning pair.  “Go Lance!”

“So you don’t mind?  About Mordred?”

“Why would I?  I’m with  _you_.  He’s just a friend – I’ve told you this already.”

Arthur visibly relaxed.  “I can’t wait to get out of here you know.  All these bloody obstacles. All I want is you.”

Merlin checked his watch and raised an eyebrow.  “That can be arranged.”  He closed the gap between himself and Arthur and reached down to palm his cock through his suit trousers, smiling smugly as it instantly hardened.  “No time now though!”  He stepped back with a smirk at Arthur’s expression of disappointment.  It was three minutes until class started; not that he cared because he was leaving as soon as he had change to talk to the head; but Arthur still worked there for now.

“You tease!” cried Arthur, grabbing Merlin and giving him a noogie.  “You better make this up to me later.  
  
*

Arthur was late finishing up at school that evening.  He had foolishly been goaded into giving detentions to three year 11 students who had refused to stop picking on a fellow student whose recent attempt at piercing her lip had resulted in her lower lip swelling to twice its normal size.  Even Arthur had to admit he couldn’t stop looking at it in a kind of morbid fascination; he suspected his own guilt at doing so had driven him to hand out the detentions.  _Valuable Merlin time._   He hoped Merlin had gotten his text that Arthur would pick him up on his way home from school.

The nights were drawing in now, and when Arthur stepped outside he pulled his leather jacket tightly around himself to fend off the chill.  Still, there was something about the smell in the air around this time of year, sulphur from the fireworks and a damp earthy scent that Arthur liked. 

Rounding the corner to the car park Arthur nearly had a heart attack when someone grabbed him arm and yanked him into the telephone box that sat in pride of place a few metres from the school entrance at the side of the school.  It was a traditional red phone box that only seem only to be found in quaint villages and postcards of London these days.  It had long since fallen out of popular use due to everyone having mobile phones.  Nevertheless, it still contained a working phone, and a dog-eared Yellow Pages.

“What the- Merlin what are you doing?”  Arthur’s heart began to beat faster in anticipation rather than fear now that he realised who his assailant was.

He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry; he’d never considered phone boxes for anything other than making emergency phone calls when he was younger, before mobile phones had elbowed their way into his teenage world.  In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been in one, probably about fifteen years ago.

“I’m making up for earlier, like I promised.”  Merlin attached his lips to Arthur’s neck, his tongue moving in swirling motions over Arthur’s already overheated skin.

“Merlin, we can’t do it here -”  His protests were stifled by a persistent pair of lips slamming against his as he found himself pushed back against the side of the phone box, Merlin flush against him.  The eager lips kissed him chastely, teasing him, before a familiar tongue eased its way to meet Arthur’s, eliciting a groan as his head fell back against the time weathered glass of the phone box.

“I’ve learnt some new magic,” said Merlin huskily as he pulled back and fixed his eyes on Arthur’s.  “Accendo.”  His eyes flashed amber and Arthur gasped at the beauty of it, his own eyes widening as tiny pin pricks of light illuminated the phone box, drifting around their head like dust motes, emphasising the sharp edges of Merlin’s cheek bones, making Arthur weak at the knees at how ethereal Merlin looked in the magical light.

Merlin ground against him, his arousal obvious, as was Arthur’s; his cock already straining against his trousers.  He knew he was lost before another protest could be uttered.

His hands were on Merlin’s belt buckle and Arthur was immediately reciprocating and leaning in for another kiss.  It was a filthy kiss, tongues duelling, replicating the motion of their hips they both longed for. 

Merlin’s trousers and boxers dropped to his ankles and he toed off his shoes and stepped out of them, grinning into the kiss as Arthur felt his own trousers fall to the floor.  He didn’t bother kicking them off; instead he lifted Merlin, who instinctively wrapped his legs around him to cross behind him at his lower back.  Backing Merlin up, he gently sat him on the metal shelf next the telephone, shoving the Yellow Pages to the floor as he did so, and taking Merlin’s cock in his hand he slowly massaged the length,  breaking the kiss finally and taking a long look into the darkened blue eyes that watched him, bending down and taking Merlin’s glistening cock into his mouth, keeping the eye contact as he paid homage to it, paying particular attention to the sensitive head before taking all of him in, loving the feel of it grazing the back of his throat.

Merlin bowed upwards, his hands clenching in Arthur’s hair and he gave way to his vocal chords, groaning Arthur’s name.  Arthur raised his right hand to Merlin’s lips, three fingers aloft like a kinky Scouts’ honour.  Merlin immediately began to lave his digits with his wet tongue.

Arthur made use of his other hand snaking between Merlin’s legs to trace the rim of his waiting entrance.  Merlin twined his fingers in Arthur’s hair tighter and pulled him back, shaking his head slightly.  Arthur grinned and made use of his mouth on Merlin’s neck as he removed his wet fingers from Merlin’s mouth and began to prepare him.  “God yes,” sighed Merlin as the first finger slid inside of him.  “’S been too long.”

Arthur had to agree.  As glad as he was the Merlin got bonding time with his grandfather and that he had managed to salvage a relationship with Uther, he had missed the physical contact, and couple that time with Merlin’s recent hospitalisation, well, they _needed_  this.

“I’m gonna fall off this shelf soon if you don’t fuck me already,” Merlin griped, the angle he was perched at decidedly precarious once Arthur had begun his ministrations.

“Patience Merlin,” Arthur drawled, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out the faithful tin.  Flipping off the lid he scooped out the required amount and chucked it to the floor. Slowly he coated his cock in the lube and then returned his fingers to slick Merlin’s hole a little more, not wanting to hurt him.

He lifted Merlin off the shelf and pulled his legs around his waist again; backing him against the side of the phone box he slowly lowered Merlin onto his straining member, locking onto his eyes, wanting to see the expression there as he seated himself within.  Merlin licked his lips and tightened his legs around Arthur, pulling him deeper.  They stood like that, unable to break eye contact for what felt like hours but could only have been a couple of minutes, Arthur gently moved his hand under Merlin’s cheeks to support him better and then lifted Merlin up, slamming him back down with as much force as he could muster.

“Yes!” Merlin cried.  “Ah, right there Arthur -”

Merlin clung tightly to Arthur’s shoulders as they moved together, using them as leverage to help Arthur as he pumped into him.  “Penna,” whispered Merlin with eyes burning gold, and Arthur felt as though Merlin’s body weight had halved, enabling him to increase the pace, pistoning fast, chasing the release he knew he was on the edge of.

Through his aroused haze Arthur heard voices outside, a small group of people walking past, but for the hell of him he couldn’t stop.  Merlin must have heard it too because he bit down on his lower lip to quell the groans he was emitting and Arthur silenced his own verbosity by claiming Merlin’s mouth with his own.  He didn’t care; if they got caught now then so be it, because he could not have stopped if their lives depended on it.

The voices were still outside, seemingly paused within metres of the phone box, and through the steamed up window Arthur could make out shapes of at least four people.  He withdrew from Merlin lowering him down and allowing him to find his feet, before turning him to lean his arms on the shelf he had been sitting on before, pressing up behind him and entering him again; this was better, away from the window and it allowed him to work Merlin’s cock, his thumb tracing the head and smudging in the precome that was lingering there.

“Arthur...” groaned Merlin, his voice a whisper.  “...fuck me harder.”  His head dropped onto his arms and he buried his head to stifle his moaning as Arthur’s cock found his prostate time and time again.  Arthur increased the pace, almost surprised that it was possible to do so, and feeling Merlin tense around him as he came all over the Yellow Pages was all he needed to fall over the edge, riding out his orgasm in painful silence as the distant chattering outside the box continued.

“Fuck Merlin that was good,” he proclaimed quietly as they both struggled to regain their breath.  Arthur withdrew and hoiked up his trousers, pressing kisses on the nape of Merlin’s neck before finding his trousers on the floor and turning him, helping him pull them back on. Collapsing wearily back against the far side of the box Arthur pulled Merlin into his embrace, gently kissing him.

Had he really just fucked Merlin in a phone box?   _With people outside?_ With relief he heard them moving away, straining his ears he heard someone say something about a monthly PTA meeting.  Whoops.  Merlin’s shoulders started to shake, and worried Arthur tilted his head to meet his eyes, realising he wasn’t crying but laughing.  “The bloody PTA!  Gaius is a member!”

Arthur’s eyes widened and he revised his earlier assumption that nothing could have stopped him...the thought of Gaius discovering them was enough to dampen anyone’s libido – not the worry of being caught, but the idea of looking at Gaius whilst...  Arthur shuddered and Merlin buried his head in the crook of his neck, still shaking with laughter.

“Let’s go back to mine for something to eat,” Arthur offered.  “Then maybe we can go again.”

Merlin’s eyes flashed and the tiny lights illuminated them once more.  Arthur took that as a yes.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used to work for Yellow Pages. I'm so happy that part of my life is over!


	17. Insecurities

Merlin was free.  Liberated.  His own man.  No longer tied to education he felt as though the whole world was at his feet.   He went into school on Wednesday morning in his jeans and favourite Smiths t-shirt, straight to the headmistress to tell her he was quitting, as per her advice.  Half an hour later he was away, sitting on the Lynmouth seafront huddled up in his hoody watching the calm sea, squinting to see the flames on the energy plant in Port Talbot all the way over the Bristol Channel to Wales, his mind whirring with possibilities for the future.

 

It was November.  In less than a month he would be 18, a legal adult, no longer stuck in the good for nothing limbo British law wrapped its 16 and 17 years old up in.  Old enough to have sex and get married; not old enough to vote.  Fine to get a job and pay taxes; too young to get a bank loan.  He was going to leave Lynmouth, go to university and make something of himself.  He just wished he knew what he wanted to do.  Before – before Arthur and realising he had a destiny, a soulmate – he had applied for places at the universities he thought he wanted to go to so he could study geography...something that would lead to a decent job and a lifelong career.  He liked geography, but he didn’t  _love_  it.  He found himself drawn towards history now, drawn by the desire to study ancient folklore and find the origins of his magic. 

 

So with that in mind he found himself back at home searching the net for relevant degrees, and armed with a small list of possibilities he set about ringing the universities to speak to the course co-ordinators.  Before school would have even been over for the day, he had made arrangements to visit University College London and Edinburgh University who were both keen to meet with him; in fact he had accepted an invitation to meet with Professor Monmouth in London tomorrow afternoon.  A few quid out of his savings would cover the train fare and he had found a Travelodge for £19. 

 

Arthur would still be working this week and it was only one night away; it would stop Merlin from giving in to all the thoughts he’d been having of sneaking into school, hiding under Arthur’s desk and giving him a blowjob whilst he tried to teach class.  Admittedly, he’d had that fantasy for some time, along with a lengthy list of others – but that had been when he’d thought Arthur was stuck in that job for 6 months and he had more time to enact them.  Right now, it was for the best that he avoided temptation, Arthur was so close to the finishing line and Merlin could so easily trip him up if he gave in to temptation.  A trip to London would get him out of the way.

 

If he chose a uni in London would Arthur go with him or would he go back to Wales and they would only see each other at weekends?  Merlin didn’t think he could bear that.  What about the next few months?  They’d been bound by the circumstances, but they were soon to be released from such obligations; what if the excitement wore off once their relationship became ‘legal’?  Was it the sneaking about that attracted Arthur and once it was removed would he get bored?   _Stop being so paranoid._   He sighed and looking unseeingly at the cursor on the screen in front of him.  Where the hell had all these insecurities sprung from?

 

“Merlin, will you be able to sort out your own dinner tonight?”   Hunith popped her head around Merlin’s bedroom door, yanking him out the depressive thoughts, her face all flushed from the shower. 

 

Merlin snapped the lid of his laptop shut, “No problem Mum.  You going out?”

 

The flush became a blush.  “I’m going for a meal in Ilfracombe with Mr K-Leon.  He’s a nice man and -”

 

“It’s alright Mum,” Merlin grinned, pleased she had finally taken the leap towards Leon because it had been clear since seeing them interact at parents evening last year that he was smitten.  “Though you know, Mr DuBois is going to be gutted; you know he’s got a think for you?”  Mr DuBois was the hotel manager.

 

Hunith shuddered.  “He’s old enough to be my grandfather, ugh.”

 

Merlin laughed, “Yeah, but he’s rich!”  He winked at his Mum.

 

“All the riches in the world wouldn’t get me near those lips!”  She span out the room with a dreamy smile, obviously back in Leon-land.  Merlin opened his laptop again and clicked the complete button for his hotel room and grabbed his rucksack to pack a few things; he’d got to get an early bus the next morning into Barnstaple to get the train to London and he planned to stay tonight with Arthur. 

 

He shoved a couple of changes of clothes and his toiletries into his bag and wrote a quick note for his Mum; he knew her too well, and if he’d told her he was going to London and needed to get that bus she would have insisted on getting up and driving him to Barnstaple, which meant she couldn’t relax tonight on her date.  The note would serve a better purpose.

 

Arthur was coming to get him from the end of the road at half seven; Merlin sent him a quick text to say he would meet him in the village by the bridge, not wanting to risk Leon seeing them when he picked up his Mum.

 

*

 

Arthur didn’t think his day could get any worse.  They’d had a big staff meeting to quell the gossip and accusations about him and Vivian Olaf, backed up by Ewan admitting the same had happened to him the previous year.  This didn’t stop the three witches, Mrs Henson, Miss Rathbone and Mrs Phipps throwing him, and then Ewan, dirty looks and muttering about ‘no smoke without fire’. 

 

This was followed by his year 10 class brawling and one of the students getting a bloody nose before Arthur had chance to intervene, followed by one of his year 11 students having a full blown panic attack when it was her turn to do a presentation and his agent ringing him every half an hour and leaving voicemails to call her immediately, which he couldn’t do until after his last class of the day.

 

When he finally called her she nearly cried down the phone in excitement; apparently a big Hollywood studio wanted to adapt his latest novel and as Arthur had maintained certain rights over his work the final decision had to be his.  Arthur’s amazed joy turned sour when Beatrice then went on to say the studio wanted Tom Hanks for the lead.

 

Arthur hated Tom Hanks*.  That notwithstanding, the man was at least 20 years too old for the part.  It seemed Tom loved the book and had persuaded a studio to back him as star and director.  Whilst Arthur was flattered he did not want that man sullying his best work to date. He said no to the adaptation; knowing full well to expect a barrage of persuasive tactics from Beatrice, his publisher and anyone else who wanted in on the act.  They could make the movie if another lead was cast.  It wasn’t like Arthur needed the money.

 

The final cherry on the bad day cake was that Merlin was no longer at school; one smile from him would have blown all of Arthur’s stress away.  As it was, he now had a headache and was on the very edge of good temper.

 

He picked up Merlin by the bridge and took him back home; he told him about his troubles at school, but left out the part about the film and Tom Hanks.  He still hadn’t told Merlin about his writing novels.  Merlin knew he wrote but for some reason – and Arthur had no idea  _why_  – he had not told him about his writing success.  Merlin knew he was well off, but with the Pendragon name it might be easy to assume he had family money.  As it was, all his money was his own.

 

A bike ride was not the best place to tell the man you loved something that big; particularly not when just the smell of him was turning Arthur on to the extent that he had to fight with himself not to pull over and ravish him in the bushes. 

 

Unfortunately for Arthur, Lance was home when they got back and he was cooking veggie chilli for their dinner and clearly in the mood for a chat.  Arthur sighed and joined him whilst Merlin went upstairs to drop his bag in the bedroom.  Sneaking a calculating glance at the chilli Arthur decided there could be a spare ten minutes between Lance getting his day off his chest and the meal being ready...ten minutes was not nearly enough for what he wanted to do to Merlin, it would have to wait.

 

This day sucked.

 

*

 

Merlin  _had_  intended to talk to Arthur about the future tonight, but the moment dinner was over Arthur had whisked him upstairs and into bed for a thorough pounding.  He hadn’t even had chance to tell him about his trip tomorrow as Lance had monopolised the conversation at dinner wanting advice on where to take Mordred on their next date.

 

Jumping out of bed, Merlin scanned Arthur’s bookcase, looking for the book he’d started to read a while back in Arthur’s hotel room.  He wanted something to read on the train tomorrow.  Not seeing the book he turned to Arthur who was lounging back on the bed looking thoroughly shagged and sated – which of course he was – and was watching Merlin’s naked book hunt through lusty narrowed blue eyes.  “Where’s that book you had a while ago?  You know the one...forgotten something.  I read a bit when I was waiting for you that time.”

 

Arthur immediately sobered.  “The Forgotten Son?”  He began to turn red.  Getting off the bed he pulled on his boxers off the floor and hastily pulled on a t-shirt.

 

“Arthur, what’s wrong?”  Merlin watched in confusion as Arthur went from sated lover to uptight automaton.

 

Arthur started to rummage in his bedside drawer and from there he liberated the book.  “Did you know they’re talking of making this book into a movie?  Tom Hanks is interested...he’s way too old for the lead.”  Arthur presented the book to Merlin. 

 

“Read it, tell me what you think.”

 

Merlin took the book, his eyes still on Arthur, confusion marring his face.  He traced the cover of the book with his thumb.  “Arthur, what’s wrong?” repeated Merlin starting to feel worried.

 

Arthur cleared his throat.  “Nothing.  I’m fine.  Come back to bed will you?”  He lay back down on the bed and patted Merlin’s side invitingly.

 

Merlin’s spider sense – which was what he liked to call his instincts – tingled.  He looked down at the book, then back at Arthur.  “ _You_  wrote this didn’t you?  You’re this James Grainger.” He flipped inside the cover to look for an author’s photo to disprove the theory but found only blank pages.

 

Arthur shifted uncomfortably.

 

“You are.  Wow – this was on the best seller list for  _weeks_  wasn’t it?” 

 

Arthur shrugged, neither confirming not denying that he was James Grainger which indicated a reluctant yes.  If Merlin was wrong Arthur would simply deny it wouldn’t he?

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”  Merlin went from ecstatic to accusing, upset that Arthur would keep such a big secret.  “You told me you adapted screenplays and wrote fiction for pleasure in your spare time.”

 

“That’s true, of sorts,” said Arthur.  “My spare time fiction writing sort of took over and became that.”  He gestured towards the offending book. 

 

Merlin opened the book, “By James Grainger,” he read.  “Red Earth.  Nothing Touches.   Over the Wire.  Ghost of Your Father.  That’s four other books.  That makes  _five_ altogether.  I’d say this is more than a ‘hobby’ now wouldn’t you?”

 

Arthur sighed.  “I guess you would.”

 

“I told you about my magic.  Do you know how hard that was for me?  I was so worried you’d think I was a freak, but I did it.  I thought I could trust you,” anger overtook any other emotions Merlin had been feeling.  He wasn’t sure he understood where it came from.  “ _Why didn’t you tell me_?” he repeated coldly.

 

Arthur closed his eyes and gathered himself.  “No one, apart from my agent, knows I’m James Grainger.  Not Morgana, not my father – not a soul.”  His eyes begged for understanding but Merlin just felt betrayed.

 

He began to drag on his clothes from wherever they had landed on the floor earlier.  “What about me Arthur?  I’m nobody to you?”

 

“Of course not, you know that.  Look Merlin, I’ve worked hard to keep this secret, I had to be sure that you -”

 

Merlin nearly doubled over at the hurt that stabbed through him, his magic rearing up in protest, and if he hadn’t had his Grandpa play Yoda to his Luke Skywalker last week then it would have started thundering outside any moment now.  “You had to what?” he managed to somehow keep his voice even.  “You had to be sure you could trust me, even now?”

 

“No – that’s not what I meant.  Why are you so upset?”

 

“I’M NOT FUCKING UPSET!”

 

Arthur grimaced.  “Merlin -”

 

“Do you know what?”  Merlin had to get out of there.  He located his rucksack from under Arthur’s jacket on the chair and threw it over his shoulder.  “I thought you were my fucking _soulmate_.  I believed it.  What a joke.  Ha ha.”  He headed for the door.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Away from  _you_ ,” snarled Merlin.  “You’ve been a great shag Arthur, but I think I’ll stick to someone closer to my age in future.”  Even as he said the words his magic protested and his heart screamed in denial, but he wanted to cause hurt like he was hurting.

 

“Merlin please don’t do this.”

 

“Fuck off Arthur.  Or should that be ‘James’?”  He flung the door open and stomped through. He had no idea where he was going, but at that moment he didn’t care.  His heart had broken into tiny pieces that left a trail of hurt in his wake.  He ran down the stairs, ignoring Lance as he bolted past him in the living room, slamming the front door as he left. 

 

Arthur hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him his biggest secret.  OK, when they first met it was fair enough, but these last few weeks...amnesia aside, they had grown so  _close_...for Merlin to guess this for himself, for Arthur not to  _trust_  him...  He must have got the soulmate thing wrong.  He’d got  _Arthur_  totally wrong. 

 

 _Not_  soulmates, not  _love_ ; just teenage hormones.  With that settled in his mind he set off down the cliff road towards Barnstaple, his anger firing him along at a relentless pace.  Once he reached the main road he’d hitch.  Fuck Arthur; Merlin was going to London.

 

*


	18. There is a light that never goes out

What the  _fuck_  had just happened?

 

 _You’ve been a great shag Arthur, but I think I’ll stick to someone closer to my age in future._  

 

Cold splinters of ice ran down his spine as he remained rooted to the spot, staring at the bedroom door as though waiting for it to open again to reveal an apologetic Merlin.  It remained closed.  He felt his knees give way beneath him and just about managed to back up and fall into the armchair in the corner of the room.  His eyes remained fixed on the door; his heart leaping as it opened and sinking flat again when Merlin was not the visitor.

 

“What’s going on?” asked Lance, his face a mixture of concern and puzzlement.  “Merlin stormed through here faster than Usain Bolt.”

 

“It’s over,” said Arthur bleakly.  “Just like that.”

 

“What do you mean ‘it’s over’?”

“What do you think I mean?  He just dumped me.”  Arthur tried to find some fire in his belly, but all he felt was numb.  Merlin was gone and there was nothing he could do about it.

 _I thought you were my_ fucking _soulmate._..  _What a joke._

“Arthur - are you sure?  The way he ran out of here -”

“Would you mind giving me some space Lance, I just want to be by myself,” Arthur couldn’t look at his friend as he made the request. 

“Sure.  You know where I am.”  The door clicked closed.  Arthur lay his head back against the headrest and shut his eyes.  Fuck it all.  He didn’t have to be here after Friday.  He had a home to go to.  Heck, he had  _two_.  Merlin was right, they should stick to people closer to their own ages.  Arthur single and content before he met Merlin; he could go back to that with ease.  He just couldn’t be  _here_  when he did.

*

Bing!  “ _The train has now arrived at London Paddington.  This is your last station stop.  Please take all your luggage and belongings with you.  Thank you for travelling with First Great Western_.”

Merlin groaned as the voice permeated through his iPod headphones.  That had not been a fun journey; when a person had as much on their mind as he did at the moment being stuck alone on a train for over four hours was probably the worst course of action to take.  Of course, when he’d booked the train he hadn’t planned on being this miserable.   _You did it to yourself_.

Getting to his feet and grabbing his rucksack from the rack above he checked his phone.  No missed calls.  Arthur hadn’t tried to contact him since Merlin had walked out last night.   _Well that just showed how much he cared_.

Shoving Arthur into a box in the back of his head Merlin turned the key and locked him away. Now that he had learnt to control his magic, he was able to contain his emotions this way. Grandpa magic 101.  This was mostly what he and Grandpa had worked on; keeping it under control.  Merlin still had no idea the extent of his magical powers; it was a case of suck it and see.  The magic was getting stronger as his 18th birthday approached whereby all of his abilities would be ‘unleashed’. 

His heart lighter, Merlin decided he was cutting it too fine to attempt going to his final destination by tube, so he grabbed a taxi from the rank outside the station, getting a buzz from the unfamiliar hustle and bustle of the big city.  He could live here; a fresh start in a new place was just what he needed.  Maybe he could start the course in January?

He sent his Mum a text to say he had arrived safely in London and not to worry, not noticing his phone slip out of his pocket as he got out of the cab outside the university and paid the driver.

As the cab pulled away and Merlin stared up in amazement at the grand portico entrance of the university he did not hear the faint strains of Arthur’s ringtone, ‘There is a light that never goes out’ ringing out from the phone’s tinny speaker, nor did he see the taxi slam his brakes and the driver jump out to have a look for the source of the music. 

Merlin had already taken the steps two by two and was being pointed in the direction of Professor Monmouth’s office.

*

Arthur listened as the phone call went to voicemail, the hope in his eyes fading as he slumped back against the wall of his classroom.  He’s argued with himself all morning over the merits of making the call, but in the end, it hadn’t been an option.  Yes, he  _was_  hurt and angry, but if he didn’t try to fight for Merlin then he’d be a fucking fool.

He’d wanted to tell Merlin about his secret identity, knew it was something that he needed to lay on the table at some point.  He’d had no qualms about Merlin’s trustworthiness, so why hadn’t he mentioned it sooner?  He loved Merlin; had done from the moment they met.  Why not share this with him?  The answer came to him, the tiny niggle in the back of his head exploding with brutal force; he’d been  _waiting_  – Merlin had talked of soulmates but never once had he told Arthur he loved him.  Never.  He’d been sure that Merlin felt as strongly for him as he did for Merlin, but Arthur told Merlin he loved him all the time; Merlin never returned the sentiment.  Not once.  So he’d held back.

 _When_   _I first saw you earlier, it felt like love at first sight_. 

Merlin was unique, a magical person with who knew what power at his fingertips, and he  _did_ love Arthur.   _Loved him._   Merlin who had recognised him as his soulmate even when he’d lost his memory. 

Why had he been holding out for a few words when Merlin had made it clear from the outset how he felt about him?  No wonder he’d been so hurt by Arthur holding back on him.

He just hoped they could fix this, because if not, Arthur wasn’t sure what was left.

*

Merlin was seriously regretting deciding to stay the night in London.  He was tired due to lack of any kind of sleep last night because he had been sitting in the train station all night waiting for morning and the first train, which was followed by a second disturbed evening – alone in his hotel room - because no matter how hard he tried to keep Arthur locked in the box in his head, he just kept on climbing back out again and looking at Merlin with those big blue eyes.

Sometimes the eyes were filled with lust and passion, other times love and hope; but what really broke Merlin’s heart was when they were full of sadness and fear.  It was then he simply wanted to go to him and make everything right again.

He was rebelling against that feeling -  _he was not a slave to his feelings_  - by going to a party in the student union to which Professor Monmouth had suggested would ‘give him a feel for university life’.  He’d left the party – alone -  after a couple of hours following being hit on by a tall blond who looked nothing like Arthur, but was guilty of the sin of  _not being Arthur_.

He’d gone back to his hotel and fell into a half sleep, whereby Arthur was everywhere, and Merlin was going over and over every conversation and every nuance in his head, and it hurt; hurt to be away from Arthur, hurt to be facing a future without him.  The shame was too much.  How could he have said that to Arthur?   _How could he?_ He didn’t want anyone else, period, let alone anyone of his own age.  He hadn’t merely  _thought_  Arthur was his soulmate, he’d  _known_  it.  He knew it still.

What the hell was he still doing here in London when he should be back in Devon begging at Arthur’s feet?  So Arthur had had something back from him, so fucking what?  When he thought about Arthur’s past, the value his father put on success, he could hardly blame Arthur – who was so much more private a person than Uther Pendragon – for wanting to retain his anonymity.

Sometimes – and it shamed Merlin to admit this – he acted like a completely selfish twat.

So he woke up in a sweat around 3am, curled in the foetal position, hurting with the separation from Arthur; worse than any other time because they were apart now in more than just geography – they had  _split up_  – and it was all  _his_  selfish doing.  Merlin crawled out of bed and took a shower.  Once clean again, he got dressed and rammed all his belongings into his rucksack; he’d get the first train back home.

*

“Arthur have you got a minute?”  Morgana stuck her head round Arthur’s classroom door as he was clearing up for the end of the day.  This was his last day; he could now get away from the hell he currently found himself in.

“Your office, five minutes?” he replied, without turning to look at her. 

“Sure,” she replied and was gone.  Arthur relaxed slightly, grabbed is bag and headed for the gents to splash some cold water on his face; he didn’t want to Morgana to see him in such a state.  He’d managed to just about hold it together for most of the day, but as the last student left the classroom, and he’d tried Merlin’s mobile one more time only for it to go straight to answer phone, the frustration had made an appearance in the shape of hot tears forcing their way from his sad blue eyes.

He should have gone after Merlin on Wednesday night.  The cruel words that had tripped off Merlin’s tongue were just a reaction to the hurt he had felt at Arthur’s secret identity.  Right? Now Merlin was who knew where and not answering his phone.   _Why hadn’t he gone after him that night?_   Stupid stubborn pride.

Splashing his face with water did nothing to detract from his red rimmed eyes, but what the hell, Morgana was his sister, she’d seen him look worse.  He slowly made his way to her office and didn’t bother knocking before he entered.  She looked up and smiled as he entered and he sat in the chair opposite.

“Is everything OK?” he asked her, noticing for the first time the bags under her eyes and her pale complexion.

“I wanted to -” she paused and Arthur squirmed as she seemed to look right inside of him. “Arthur, you’re  _crying_.  What on earth is wrong?”

Arthur’s hand automatically went to his face and came away wet.  How had he not known he was still silently sobbing?  He’d thought he’d banished the tears before coming here.  Morgana was offering him a box of tissues and he took one with a wan smile.

“Arthur?”

“I asked first.  _You_  look pale.”

“Time enough for that in a bit.  Tell me what’s wrong.”

Arthur deflated.  He had officially finished his employ at the school as of about fifteen minutes ago.  He had promised himself he would tell her about him and Merlin; he just hadn’t anticipated this scenario where he was heartbroken and his seventeen year old lover had broken things off.  When it was put like that it did sound a little sordid.

“If I tell you...it may change the way you look at me.  Promise me you’ll hear me out?”

Morgana gave him her best withering look.  “Arthur, I’ve never let you down yet have I?”

“No, but -” Deep breath.  “- I’m about to let  _you_  down.”

He nervously rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.  Here goes.  “Lance was never together with Merlin Emrys.  He was covering for me.   _I’ve_  been seeing him.  I’ve been sleeping with a student.”

Morgana’s expression was blank as she stared at Arthur. 

Arthur ploughed on.  “In my defence, I met him my first night here and I thought he was older.  I just didn’t stop it when I realised.  I mean I  _did_  actually – stop it that is - but I couldn’t stay away.  He got so under my skin that I -”

“You’re in love,” she said in wonder.  “I never thought- Arthur Pendragon is in _love_...so why the tears?”

“We broke up, a couple of days ago.  He’s vanished.  He’s not answering his phone; he’s totally blanking me.   _I’ve lost him_.”  Arthur narrowed his eyes.  “Wait.  I’ve just told you I was _sleeping_  with a  _student_.  Why aren’t you tearing me a new one?”

“I should be, but what would be the point?  I know you Arthur and while I can’t condone a relationship with a student...well he’s left here now and so have you...  You’re both free to do what you want.  If anyone deserves some happiness it’s you.”  Her lips twitched.  “You were wise to hold off on telling me though, if you were both still here, well -”

Arthur hung his head.  This response from Morgana was perfect – all he could have wished for; but without Merlin it was all for nothing.  “Now, back to you Morg; you don’t look well.”

“I’m pregnant,” she admitted.  “That’s what I wanted to tell you, you’re the first to know.”

Arthur jumped to his feet and pulled her into a bear hug, “That’s fantastic news! Congratulations!  When’s it due?  Is this why you wanted to move house?”

“It’s not Edwin’s.”  Morgana blushed and pulled away.  Arthur couldn’t recall a time he had seen her look so flustered.  “I’m leaving him; but I haven’t told him yet.  You’re not the only one who’s been following their heart instead of their head.”

Arthur’s jaw dropped.  “Bloody hell Morgana.  Does the  _father_  know?  Who is he?”

“Yes he knows.  His name’s Alvarr, he works for Uther.  He wants me to move in with him.  I _want_  to move in with him.  Things haven’t been right with Edwin for a long time.”

“Wow.”  Very articulate Arthur. 

“I know,” she said.  “Well what a pair we are.  I think you’ll understand my reluctance to come to the pub for your farewell drink; I’ve  _got_  to tell Edwin tonight.  Alvarr is coming up tomorrow.”

“I had no intention of going anywhere near the pub either.  I’ve got to find Merlin and make him listen to me.  I’m not letting him go without a fight.”

It was Morgana’s turn to hug him.  “The more I think about it the more I think you would make a lovely couple.  Light and dark.  I’m sure once he should be back from London by now so –”

Arthur stepped back, “London?” 

“Gaius told me Merlin’s gone to see a uni in London; he went yesterday.”

London had not been on Merlin’s list of potential universities when they had last discussed where he might go.  Already Merlin was moving on.

Suddenly Arthur wanted nothing more than to be out of this office, out of the school, somewhere far away.  He wanted to go home – back to Wales, back to the peace and quiet and simplicity of his old life.  No complications, no anything.  Just lonely contentment.  He’d never get that back now.  It would be lonely still, but the contentment would be gone and in its place would be a huge black hole.

Despair washed over him.  A  _Merlin_  shaped black hole. 

*

The fates were against him.  Already it was nearly 7pm and Merlin had left his hotel room _fifteen_  long hours ago. 

He was still in London.  Major signal failure in the London area had pretty much ground the city to a standstill.  What perfect timing.

Merlin had drunk more coffee in one day than he normally managed in a week.  The latest information boards were advising that services would resume by 8.30pm.  Of course, there was no guarantee of a seat on the train.

Sitting on the grubby floor with his head thrown back against the ancient wall tiles, Merlin closed his eyes and tried to fight off the tears.  He’d been to get his phone back from the cab company; the battery was long dead.  He couldn’t even ring Arthur from a payphone as who kept a paper note of people’s numbers these days – numbers were stored in your phone.

He’d only thought of ringing the school when it was too late.

He imagined how Arthur must be feeling.  Pretty bloody shitty if Merlin’s own feelings were anything to go by.  How many times had Arthur told Merlin he  _loved_  him?  What had he done to repay him; thrown it back in his face that was what.  He wouldn’t blame Arthur if he didn’t want him back.  Soulmates  _could_  live without one another.

Oh God, he wanted to see Arthur so badly it was a physical pain.  The invisible chord connecting them together was pulling him home, but he was stuck here, on the dirty floor of a smelly train station in an overpopulated city, totally trapped.

The tug on his insides twisted, his thoughts of Arthur a catalyst as he found himself spinning, light as air, and falling, landing with a thump on the floor of the dark empty living room at Lance’s.  He sat up; his head a whirling mass of confusion.  What – the – fuck?  Had he fallen asleep?

The door flew open and Arthur came running in, grinding to a halt at the sight of Merlin sitting in the middle of the room.  Merlin groaned.  He  _had_  fallen asleep; either that or he was hallucinating.

“Merlin?”  Arthur was on his haunches in front of him, not touching him, not smiling but frowning in confusion.  “Where -?” 

Arthur looked real enough, Merlin decided, because if this was dream Arthur then he wouldn’t have red rimmed eyes and look quite this desolate.  Dream Arthur would be naked; this one was all rumpled and – was that  _whiskey_  he could smell?

Real Arthur was vulnerable and sad.  Merlin stopped wondering how he’d gotten there – what did that matter when he was where he wanted to be? 

“I’m sorry Arthur!” he exploded.  “I didn’t mean it.  I love you.  I love you  _so much_.  I don’t know what happened...”

Arthur dropped to his knees.  “You really hurt me Merlin.”

“I know,” his head bobbed in shame.  “I won’t do it again.  I hurt myself just as much – being away from you is bad for my health.”  He smiled weakly at dared a look at Arthur who was regarding him through expressionless hooded eyes.

“I called you; you didn’t pick up.  I’ve been through hell these last two days and you were in _London_?   _You_  never told  _me_  that you were planning that,” he sighed.  “I’m not saying that is the same as me not telling you about the books, but what I mean is -”

“You would have told me when you were ready.  I’ve always been impatient.”  Merlin leant forward and placed his hands on Arthur’s thighs.  “ _I love you_.”

Arthur smiled.  “I know.”

*

Arthur felt all of the stress and worries of the last couple of days evaporate into the past as he pulled Merlin into his arms and onto his lap.  He kissed his eyelids, his nose, and the soft skin behind his ears, planting a gentle kiss on his lips, intending to be patient and savour the moment; Merlin back where he belonged.

Merlin had other ideas, invading Arthur’s tentative kiss with his tongue, exploring Arthur’s mouth as though they had been apart for months.  Arthur was hard the moment their tongues made contact.  Feeling Merlin’s answering hardness against his stomach he pulled back, “Not here.  Lance and Mordred could turn up any minute.”

They reluctantly got to their feet and hand in hand made their way up to Arthur’s room. Arthur’s suitcase was lying open on the armchair, half packed.  Merlin looked at Arthur in horror, the dread held felt when he thought he’d lost him spearing through his chest again.

“You’re leaving?” he whispered, his hand falling out of Arthur’s as he stepped back.

“I was about to.  I didn’t want to be here if you didn’t want me.  I’ve got nothing to keep me here if you didn’t want me.  When you didn’t pick up for the thirtieth time -”

“I left my phone in the cab yesterday.”

“Oh.”  Now he felt like an idiot for harping on about it.

“Then none of the trains were running...”

Arthur watched, sensing something bigger was coming.

“...and I was thinking about you, about how you must be feeling, and wanting to be here with you and –  _is this a dream?_ ”

Arthur took a step closer to Merlin, taking his hand back into his own, “No, this is very real.”

Merlin relaxed.  “I wanted to be here with you Arthur, and then I suddenly  _was.  Have you any idea what that means?_ ”  He laughed.  “I fucking  _teleported!_   I wanted to be with you so bad I defied all the laws of physics.”

It didn’t even occur to Arthur to find that statement bizarre.  Since meeting Merlin nothing had been normal. 

Merlin was looking thoughtful.  “I wonder...”  He waved a hand nonchalantly and Arthur felt a sudden rush of air hitting his naked flesh.   _Naked flesh?_   “Yes!  I totally rock.”

Arthur realised he was gaping.  It was one thing when Merlin performed entertaining magic – tiny lights, floating statues – but something else entirely to have the magic used on him.  The residual power crackled over his body like tiny electric shocks; his cock stood further to attention than it already had been.

“How about you teleport us both into the shower so I can rinse that London grime right out of your hair?”

“Fuck that - not quite sure how it works yet and if I can do it to order.” laughed Merlin, waving his hand again and banishing his own clothing.  “I prefer the old fashioned transport.”  He closed the gap between them and ground his cock into Arthur’s, leaning in for a kiss he gripped Arthur’s shoulders and hooked his legs around his arse.

Arthur adjusted to the extra weight with ease and headed for the bathroom.  He had Merlin back; they still had some talking to do, but for now, this was enough.

*

 


	19. Happy Birthday

“I’m officially old today,” groaned Merlin dramatically, stripping off his clothes and haphazardly throwing them on the chair before climbing naked onto the bed to join Arthur.

Arthur watched him with lust filled blue eyes, reclining back against the pillows, hands behind his head.  “You’ll always be my toy boy,” he said fondly as Merlin straddled his hips and encased his hungry cock in a firm palm.  “You’ll always be  _mine_.”

“Can I have my birthday present now?”  Merlin ran a teasing finger along the length of Arthur’s cock, his weight preventing his hips from bucking upwards.  “I’ve been a good boy haven’t I?”

“I’m not sure about that Merlin; you leave your clothes lying around everywhere, you leave the lid off the toothpaste, you never take the DVD out after watching it, you -”  Merlin cut him by leaning down for a kiss, grinding his erection against Arthur’s.  “Mmmph.”

“If you won’t give it to me willingly, I’ll have to take it by force,” Merlin threatened, and waved his hand, letting his magic do the dirty work of binding Arthur’s hands to the headboard. Merlin grew more and more proficient with his magic daily.  The day he learnt to use it for this particular purpose had been one they wouldn’t forget in a hurry.

Arthur struggled against the constraints, “Merlin!”

Merlin grinned, licking his lips.  “Come on Arthur, you’re not even trying.”  Of course he wasn’t trying, he fucking  _loved_  it when Merlin tied him up, probably more than he loved doing the same to Merlin.

The scarves tightened slightly around Arthur’s wrists.  Merlin ground his cock against Arthur’s again, leaning down to suck on the two pink nipples that begged silently for his attention. Arthur loved it when Merlin licked his nipples; the tongue piercing sent shivers to his cock without fail.  Arthur hoped Merlin never grew out of it.

“Birthday present Arthur?” said Merlin, lifting his head to lock eyes with Arthur. 

Arthur felt the remaining blood rushing from his head to his cock as he gave up pretending he wasn’t going to give in.  “OK Merlin, fuck me  _hard_.”

It wasn’t often Arthur gave up control; preferring to be the one fucking Merlin, but he wasn’t adverse to taking it once in a while, and Merlin had specifically asked for this as a birthday present.  Arthur found it nigh on impossible to deny Merlin anything, and he had long ago given up pretending to himself that he could.

Arthur liked it fast and hard.  Merlin slid forward, walking on his knees down Arthur’s body, straddling his chest, offering his cock for Arthur to coat in his own saliva.  Arthur lifted his head off the pillow and took Merlin’s swollen member into his mouth as far down as he could given the angle.  He had no hands to assist him, Merlin thrust his cock down this throat eagerly, and Arthur hummed around it, knowing the vibrations turned Merlin to jelly.

Looking up at Merlin’s face, head tipped back, eyes closed, biting down on his lip to keep his moans inside, Arthur felt a rush of love and lust that brought tears to his eyes.   _His_  Merlin. What would his life have been like if he had never met him?

Merlin rocked his hips one last time and pulled out, offering his fingers up for Arthur to moisten.  “Now Merlin, I want you inside me  _now_.”

“Yes  _Sir_ ,” Merlin shifted back down Arthur’s body, moving to kneel between his thighs, grabbing a pillow and placing it under Arthur’s bottom.  With his newly moistened fingers he traced a circle around Arthur’s pink waiting hole, letting Arthur know what was to come, before thrusting his forefinger inside.  God it burned, but Arthur loved it.  He arched his hips in reaction, and Merlin quickly added a second finger and began to stretch.

Almost instantly Merlin found the right spot and any burning sensations gave way to intense pleasure.  He heard the guttural moans and realised it was him.  A third finger.  Arthur couldn’t wait any longer.  “Merlin, I said  _now_!”

Merlin fumbled for the lube and Arthur groaned at the delay; but he knew saliva alone wasn’t enough.

By way of hastening Merlin along Arthur lifted his legs and draped them over Merlin’s shoulders.  “You’re a horny bastard today aren’t you?”  Merlin scooted forward on his knees and lined up his newly lubed cock.  Arthur writhed, trying to impale himself before Merlin had even moved, he wanted Merlin inside him, he wanted to be fucked raw.  He wanted Merlin to come inside him and then lick his own come off Arthur’s stomach.

Merlin slammed his cock home.  “Yes!” cried Arthur.  Yes, yes, yes. “ _God_  Merlin, faster.”

Merlin obliged, pumping his hips in a frenzy, his cock sliding in an out of Arthur at a punishing pace.  Every few thrusts he would lean down and kiss Arthur, and Arthur loved watching Merlin as he fucked him, the way his tongue pocked out between his lips to start with, like he was concentrating really hard, and then as he began to lose his control the groaning would commence, the laboured breathing and the little sighs of pleasure.

Smooth hands ran the length of his inner thighs as Merlin pushed his legs closer to his chest, and his cock was aching to be touched, and when Merlin swivelled slightly and the angle against his prostate created shocks of pleasure so intense that he forgot about his neglected cock; Merlin pounded harder, sweat dripping off his brow, and Arthur was close, so close and he absently wondered why he didn’t do this with Merlin more often.

Merlin brought a hand down and fisted Arthur’s cock, yanking it hard, increasing the pace of his hips and matching it with his hand, and that was it; Arthur couldn’t take anymore of the build up, the pleasure was mounting too intensely for him to contain, “Merlin!  Fuuuuck! Yesss!”  his orgasm was ripped from him, and he was coming hard, coating his own stomach in pearly white droplets.  He opened his eyes, and dazedly prepared to see his favourite visual feast; the sight of Merlin coming.

First the eyes closed, the long black lashes caressing his cheeks lovingly, and the usually ivory skin flushed from the neck upwards, his head went back, his mouth parted in a silent scream. Then the eyes would fly open and meet Arthur’s and they would watch one another until every last drop had been spilt.  Merlin did this now, and it was all the better for Arthur this time because he could feel Merlin coming inside  _him_ , and the warm feeling of being filled was so _perfect_.  So fucking hot.

Merlin pulled out gently and dropped Arthur’s legs back down, coming to rest at Arthur’s side, his head on his shoulder.  “I love you,”  Merlin waved a hand and the scarves released Arthur’s hands.  Arthur gave them a quick shake to restart his circulation and promptly wrapped his arms around Merlin.

“I love you too,” Arthur rasped, still trying to get his breath back.  “Happy 24th birthday Merlin.”

*

Their intentions to get up early and explore went down the drain.  They could have blamed it on the late flight they came in on but that would have been bullshit.

After a little recuperation time, Arthur proved to Merlin that he still had it where it counted, despite his 37 years, and fucked him out on the balcony, both of them loving the thrill of doing it outside in broad daylight; the balcony was well covered but the risk was still present.

Merlin had never lost his risky sex kink and Arthur was always happy to indulge him.  The view from this particular balcony was spectacular.  Even in daylight Las Vegas shone like a Christmas tree.

“I can’t believe you brought me to Vegas for my birthday,” said Merlin as they got dressed after finally showering about 4pm.  “To see a bloody  _magic_  show.  I bet that – whatsisname again – David whoever isn’t really magic.  I’ll be able to tell you know; I can sense it a mile off these days.”

Merlin’s magic knew no bounds these days.  The fact that they had flown to Vegas rather than simply teleport was because Arthur hated being the passenger, it nearly always made him vomit, so Merlin only took Arthur with him if it was an emergency.  Instead they had suffered an 11 hour flight to be here, and Merlin wasn’t quite sure why.  Neither he nor Arthur could as much as stomach Blackpool, yet here they were in  _Las Vegas_.

Merlin had to admit Las Vegas made Blackpool hang its head in shame.  He was secretly thrilled to be somewhere so garish for a short while.

“We’re only here one more night then we’re moving on, you know that.”

“Yes but  _where_  – why won’t you tell me?”

“It’s called a  _surprise_  Merlin, you usually love them.”

“I do when I don’t know the surprise is coming, but seeing as you’ve told me I can’t help my natural curiosity can I?”  Merlin knew he could whine all he liked, Arthur was great at keeping secrets.

“Come on,” encouraged Arthur, trying to edge Merlin towards the door.  “We’ve got a couple of hours before the show, let’s go for a walk along the strip.”

They wasted a couple of hours without getting more than a few hundred metres from the hotel, there was just so much to stop and gawp at.  “This place is utterly bizarre,” said Merlin in wonder.

“Aw, ickle Merlin’s such a small town boy,” Arthur mocked, squeezing Merlin’s hand and pulling him closer to his side. 

“Says the man who lives on a Welsh mountain.”

“Well, you live there too.”

“Touché.”  The truth was they had the place in Wales, one in London where they’d lived during term time when Merlin was at uni and another in on the shores of Lake Attersee in Austria – again, shrouded by mountains.  Vegas was not really their usual thing.

“We’d better turn back, we have to get changed before the show,” said Arthur looking at his watch.

“What – can’t we go in our jeans?”

Arthur rolled his eyes.  “No we bloody can’t, this is a show with dinner; wear your new suit.”

They walked back to the hotel with Merlin chuntering under his breath about charlatan magicians and monkey suits.  He couldn’t see why everything had to be so formal.  Still, Arthur looked exceptionally hot in a suit; Merlin had always liked him in one since back in the day when Arthur had been Mr Pendragon, English teacher, but the suits he occasionally wore these days were perfectly cut to show off his broad shoulders and long legs...he would enjoy helping Arthur out of the suit after the show.

The hotel lobby was permanently teaming with patrons of all nationalities; the casino was off to the left, and the theatre area was on the right.  The hotel also had a huge conference suite, a wedding chapel, a spa and gym.  Merlin hoped there would be time to have a game of roulette later, and what was that game where in films the man always asked a pretty lady to kiss the dice for luck before throwing them?  He wanted Arthur to kiss his dice.  They couldn’t be in Vegas and  _not_  have a punt.

Would he be able to play and not cheat with magic?  The temptation to tip the dice in his favour with a mere thought would be a strong one.  Not that he needed the money, but he  _did_ like to win.

As he donned his suit and straightened his tie, he felt too overdressed; this was a holiday. People wore jeans on holiday.  Wearing a suit made him feel like he was going to work.

“How do I look?” asked Arthur when Merlin came up behind him as he stood in the front of the mirror.  He was trying to get his hair to lie flat – usually a problem that Merlin suffered.  He started to fuss over his suit, picking off imaginary lint.

“Arthur chill out,” Merlin snaked his arms around his waist from behind and rested his chin on his shoulder.  “You’re all jumpy all of a sudden.  Are you nervous that the big bad magician might turn you into a frog?”

“Something like that,” muttered Arthur.  He met Merlin’s eye in the mirror.  “You don’t have any regrets do you – about us I mean?”

Merlin stepped back and turned Arthur to face him.  “What do you mean ‘regrets’?”

“You’re bi, you could have normal life, marry a nice girl, have kids...”

Where was this coming from?  Arthur looked at that moment as though this had been weighing him down for some time, and that squeezed Merlin’s heart in an iron grip.

“You prat,” he said, kissing the frown off Arthur’s lips.  “Why would I want any of  _that_  if it didn’t come with  _you_?”

Arthur seemed to brighten.

“I know you want kids Arthur, I’ve been looking at surrogacy and -”

“You have?  Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I wanted to be sure it was a viable option and I still don’t know but it’s looking good.”  Merlin had hoped to surprise Arthur with this solution once he had all the facts, but now seemed like a good enough time to come clean, to help settle Arthur’s insecurities.  He’d love to be a father too.

Merlin was about to sit Arthur down and ask him where all of this came from when Arthur looked at his watch and swore.  “We’re gonna be late.  Are you ready?”

Merlin nodded and slipped his hand in Arthur’s.  The show was in the theatre downstairs, with pre show drinks in one of the bars.  He gave Merlin the once over.  “You look amazing in a suit.”

Merlin didn’t know why he blushed, there was just something in Arthur’s eyes when he looked at him today; the usual love coupled with something else...something  _more_.

Hand in hand they took the lift own to the lobby.  Merlin wasn’t thinking about magic shows or tanned faux magicians, his mind was on Arthur and their brief conversation; surprised that Arthur held even slight insecurities about their relationship after seven years together.  Seven fan _fucking_ tastic years.

“We’re here,” Arthur stopped in front of some seriously over the top ornate double doors and turned Merlin to face him; straightening his tie with a shaking hand.  “Are you ready?”

“Er – yes?”  Arthur was just acting plain weird now. 

Arthur pushed the door open and led Merlin through.  “Arthur, are you sure you’re OK you -”

Merlin crashed into Arthur’s back as he halted just inside the door, taking his eyes off that little curl at the back of his neck he had been fixating on to take in the occupants of the room.  Expecting a theatre bar area he was not surprised to see just that, albeit a very plushly decorated ornate Baroque style bar, but the patrons... “Mum?” Hunith was making her way over and pulling him into a fierce hug.

Over her shoulder he saw the room was full of, well, pretty much  _everyone_  he knew.  “What’s going on?”  God he was thick.  It was his birthday...this was a  _surprise_  party?  Random birthday to pick but he’d never had a surprise party, and he’d had no idea this one was coming. 

Why had nobody shouted ‘surprise’?

“I’m so proud of you,” whispered Hunith before releasing her claim on him, and was that a _tear_  winding its way down her cheek?

The people seemed to close in and Merlin began to feel as though he was in some kind of freaky dream.  He looked to Arthur, who looked like he was about to puke.  He took Merlin’s hand and brushed his cheek with the back of his hand; Merlin was riveted by the look in his eyes.  Arthur dropped to one knee.  Oh fuck; Arthur was going to  _propose_. 

Merlin’s heart nearly stopped beating.

*

Arthur had never felt so nervous in his life.  Not when he’d told his father to stick his arranged marriage, or when he’d checked the press for reviews of his first book –  _never_.

His hands were still shaking as he knelt on one knee and looked up into Merlin’s shocked blue eyes.  The room was full of all the family and friends Arthur – with the assistance of Morgana and Hunith – had invited; many of whom he’d paid for.  All eyes were on them, Arthur Pendragon, secret author and ex school teacher and Merlin Emrys part-time scholar of magic, part-time magic consultant to MI5 (also secret).

“Merlin,” he began, his voice cracking with nerves.  “I love you with all my heart – you’re my soulmate - and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  Would you do me the honour of marrying me?” 

_Please_  don’t turn me down,  _please_   _say yes_.

In the moments it took for Merlin to process the request Arthur’s mind was reeling; what had possessed him to do this?  To invite everyone they knew to the other side of the Atlantic – to somewhere as tacky as Vegas - to humiliate himself by proposing to Merlin in front of them all.  It was crazy.   _He_  was crazy.

“Of course I will.”  Merlin was grinning wildly and the guests erupted into enthusiastic applause, cheering and whooping, accompanied by several cries of ‘awwwww’.  Arthur felt himself relax almost instantly as elation took over.  Merlin had said  _yes_ , he could breathe again.

Several waiters appeared with trays of champagne and chocolates and began to circulate amongst the guests.  Merlin helped Arthur to his feet and pulled him in for a kiss to a chorus of further whoops and wolf whistles.

“May I have your attention please?”  Uther’s authoritative voice boomed over the gathering, stilling everyone without the aid of a microphone.  The chatter immediately stopped and everyone turned to look at Uther.  “As Merlin has had the good sense to know a good thing when he sees it, I’d like to invite everyone to make their way to the chapel for the ceremony which will commence in ten minutes.”

“ _We’re getting married in ten minutes?”_

“No time like the present,” grinned Arthur.  “I picked the tackiest theme I could find, I hope you appreciate it.”  It was  _very_  tacky, but Arthur hoped Merlin would see the fun side of it.

“Are you kidding me?  Getting married in Vegas is so tacky it’s  _cool_.”  Merlin began to bob on his heels in excitement.  “I can’t believe you managed to plan all this and I didn’t suspect a thing until you went all paranoid earlier and even then I was nowhere near to guessing.  How much of a div am I?  We’re in  _Vegas_.  I’m seriously impressed.”

“I had help.”

“And the holiday afterwards is out  _honeymoon_?  Will you tell me where -”

“Not a chance.”

Arthur watched Merlin as he scanned the room and clocked who was here; people were hovering outside the chapel entrance slowly, they seemed to be waiting for the two grooms to move, but Arthur had planned it so that they would walk down the aisle together.  Catching Hunith’s eye he nodded and she began to herd them through.

He was so happy that everyone could make it.  Arthur had paid for most of the guests to enjoy a week in Vegas on him after the wedding.  He was more than touched at how supportive Uther was being, despite Merlin not being from a rich family or having the right connections.  Uther had brought his new girlfriend, Merlin’s mother’s best mate Morgause.  He shuddered a little every time he thought of that woman, but if Uther liked her then he’d make the effort to give her a chance. 

Other guests included Gaius, Leon in the capacity of step-father to the groom with baby Fran who was sister of the groom, Grandpa Kil, Morgana and Alvarr and their two children, six year old Millie and four year old Harrie, Gwen and Freya with their  _soulmates_  (Merlin had given his friends tips on how to follow their gut instinct), Lance and Mordred, Valiant and his latest blonde, several of Merlin’s uni mates and their other halves and a few of Arthur’s old mates; and Will and his wife Louise.  It had taken a while for Merlin to let Will back in his life, and they weren’t close like once were after what happened, but he couldn’t ignore the fact that Will hadn’t really been himself.

The chapel door closed with a bang leaving Arthur and Merlin alone outside, save for a couple of waiters collecting up glasses.

They stood staring into each other’s eyes, hand in hand.  “Are you ready?” asked Arthur for the third time that day. 

Merlin nodded, pulling Arthur in for a slow kiss.  When they finally broke apart Merlin said, “Our last kiss as  _boyfriends_.”

Merlin waved a finger and the chapel door opened.  They entered hand in hand.  As they did so the music began and Merlin bit back a laugh, “You prat,” he hissed under his breath as they walked down the aisle to John William’s Imperial March to greet the celebrant - Darth Vader. 

“I  _did_  promise you a magician,” Arthur whispered back as they reached the front and turned to face Vader to make their vows.

_The End._


End file.
